I have not advice to give, but I could not go past your post without offering some support.

I think it is the saddest thing of all to outlive a child. No parent should ever have to go through that. My mother and father went through this when they lost their first child at only 9 days old. It has been 46 years and yes, my parents still grieve for her (on birthdays, particularly significant ones). What my mother describes is very similar to what Tenibear describes. She says that she will always remember her perfect little girl who she had for such a short time but will always always be in her heart.

I hope that you know that you are surrounded by love and support on this site and there is always someone who will listen and offer advice.

I guess the only thing you can do is just take one day at a time. Time will help if not wholly heal and you will smile again.

I am so very sorry for your loss.