I really like it as well. I don't think it sounds fragmented at all, it's really lovely. A beautiful way to honour your twins.
I am so sorry for you loss. I think it would be nice to include Isabel's twin on the headstone - I don't think it takes away from her, her twin is apart of who she is and the journey of how she came to be. I hope that you can find the perfect wording for Isabel's headstone.
Hi hun, I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful twins. What you have written is really beautiful. My suggestion would be : In loving memory of Isabel Ann 14 February 2009 Much loved daughter of Luke and Kylie Forever in our hearts and thoughts Forever with her twin We will always love you and miss you
Such beautiful and loving care you are giving to your babies... I really loved Starbrights version -
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