Jisi, I am so sorry for the loss of your precious boy Liam. It is very unfair and I often asked the same questions you did.. "Why do other people have kids and don't want them, yet mine were taken away??" I still ask that.. I know it probably doesn't seem like it right now but you wont feel like this forever. As time passes, you learn to live with your grief and the pain is not as intense.. Sometimes I can go for an hour or so when I wake up without thinking of my babies, sometimes it still feels like yesterday. Just do what feels right, let yourself grieve and don't be too hard on yourself.. (((HUGS))) There is great support in here..