Hi there!

I am not in a position that I can know your circumstances well enough to offer advice but rather my thoughts on what I might do in your situation as I cannot fathom the emotional impact of the 75%/25% that you have been given.

The only thing that even comes to my mind is to choose, so far as is possible, who you spend your time with. Most people hold the sum attitude of the six people they spend the most time with, so based on this principle I would try to surround myself with people who are both positive and pro-active but also have one or two people I could express my needs to if something was to go wrong with a view to have them act as the people to make it happen just in case.

My Nanna is has recently started receiving Carer's Payment for my grandfather who is really not so well anymore. She looks so exhausted not from looking after him but from his attitude. He is really in his last months so far as we can tell and he is unmotivated and negative about anything and everything. He refuses to get dressed and shaved most days now because he feels there is nothing to live for. The emotional toll to my Nanna is huge and I would be strongly urging you to choose your company wisely and restricting time with negative people, including family.

As to how that might translate to your life I am not sure. It was hard enough for us to explain secondary infertility to the family that we didn't include them in our ongoing attempts for more children nor will we in the future. Similarly, my mother is a dooms-dayer in the last month of pregnancy and I am always overdue so we have told her that our current DC is certain to arrive by a date a month after the actual EDC. The date was altered in the name of self-preservation and maybe that would be a second and final thought. I would do whatever it take to sustain me as a positive, healthy mum to be and I hope that your decisions lead you on that same path.