14 yo SS and pocket money

[shells79]

Argh, one extreme to the other, first I was asking too little and now too much!

I appreciate your honest feedback and god I would never make the kid collect all the dog poo!! I collect it every weekday morning, just not on Saturdays or Sundays!

They are all fair points, I guess my aim is to try and take away from his sense of entitlement, give him some responsibility and the desire to earn the money. I was using some of the ideas others had suggested above (deoderant and clothes) ie. paying him for work done, rather than just participating in the household but I do take your point and think that maybe the roster is a good idea and will show him that everyone has to pull their weight to some extent.

He has his own bathroom & toilet so perhaps he should only clean it once a fortnight and I can do the rest, is doing his own washing too much? Removing the comments re buying his own things- is the list of jobs excessive? Maybe we can sit down and negotiate the jobs he wants to do/ can do from a list of jobs and that way he has input?

Also Ms_fi, how would you recommend helping him to concentrate on studying? He has a tutor and I used to spend time with him each Sunday doing half an hour of maths as well. I think he needs more though- he spends the first 20 minutes whingeing that he doesn't need to do the extra work. I tried to help him study for his science test and we were doing revision for a couple of nights but I found out later that he had already done the test the week before and he hadn't told me. He ended up failing that test. Should I go through with him each night what he has learnt that day and just do some revision with him? Should I do it weekly? Or should I find resources on the internet/ books etc and make up my own little tutoring sessions?

Thanks everyone, such a steep learning curve and its so overwhelming! I am off to see a counsellor tomorrow to help me deal with a teenage step son and absent father so he might give me some more tips.