It is manners - plain and simple.
When my boys are a bit older, i will have those expectations of them and their friends !
Hopefully she starts talking soon - for everyones sake.
If DS's girlfriend ignored me, she would NOT be welcome back. If she really were that shy, she could write me a thank-you note for DS to give me.
And I'd point out to DS does he want to spend the rest of his life with a woman who won't speak to his family? What if she goes "shy" around his work colleagues - will he not go out with them? What if she's "shy" of her children, or their spouses - will he be cut out of his own children's lives? OK so it's VERY far in the future (both DS having a proper girlfriend AND having children!) but it's worth considering. I broke up with guys because of they way they treated their or my families: if they do that to family, what will they do to our children? Don't want to find out.
DH is VERY shy, btw, and in big family situations with my family he tended to keep behind me or only talk to my mum and sister - and Gran, when he got to know her a bit. But he knew enough to say goodbye and thank you to the hosts!
I'm quite shy and could still make conversation over a dinner table with boyfs' parents. And if I knew I was being a bit too quiet, as I was when staying at DH's parents' house the first time, I got his mum a thank-you gift for letting me stay over.
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