Hi all,

I know there are some Mums of teenagers out there.......any advice gratefully accepted.

My GF (age 35) and her daughter is 14. My GF has just been on the phone to me in tears again, over her teenage daughter, and I am really at a loss to what to suggest.

I shall give some back ground: forgive me if this is long!

(For the sake of ease I shall call my GF Jo and her daughter Amy)

Jo was married in her teens and that is when she had Amy. Her husband commited suicide when Amy was only 4. Jo has since remarried (when Amy was 8) to a new DH and the three of them all get on well, or at least they have been since Amy turned into a nightmare teen.

Amy is bright, attractive and has a lot going for her. She has doting grandparents and she goes to a good school, and certainly Jo is a loving mother who only wants the best for her daughter, and the step-dad is a wonderfully caring guy who treats Amy like his own.

Over the past 2 years her behaviour has gone from bad to worse. It started off with the usual teenager dramas like dating boys too early, to experimenting with cigarettes & not doing homework. however in recent months it has got much worse, and some her recent behaviour includes:

~ Smoking dope
~ Having sex
~ Breaking out of the house at night
~ Wagging off school
~ Bullying other girls at her school
~ Drinking
~ Perpetual lying about anything and everything
~ Stealing things such as a brand new mobile phone from another girl at school

They have been in family councelling and Amy has had one on one councelling, but nothing seems to be getting through to her.

Jo adores her daughter and would do anything to help her start acting with some maturity.

The current drama is that Amy has been threatened with suspension from school becasue of stealing the phone. Any thinks this makes her "cool" and she certainly seems to be regarded as a "leader" at school, and gets a lot of attention from boys and her classmates for being "cool".

Jo has tried setting boundries, grounds her, withdraws priviledges such as pocket money/use of the phone etc, but nothing seems to get through to her.

Girls, this is an essay, but any insights on how to get through to a 14 year old that the above behaviour is not acceptable? Or is it all simply teenage behaviour that needs to be ridden through and hope Amy comes out the other end?

My advice to Jo so far has all been based on my experience as a people manager. However I am aware that maanging employees is very very different to "managing" a teenage daughter!

Any suggestions from anyone welcome!