Hi Lucy

I`m not a mother of a teenager yet (will be a step mum to one in less then 2 years time, oh thats scary) but anyway back on track I`m a older sister by 3 1/2 years of a teenager who went of the wires so to speak when she was 14.

My story goes my younger sister was always very simliar to me, was doted on by both Mum and Dad but especaially Dad, N was very sick as a baby so this is understandable. I`d do anything for N would always play the games she wanted to play would always give into her, could say she always got her ownway whether this had anything to do with going off the wires I have no idea. Once N hit 14 she was a different child - withdrew into herself, self mutilated herself, took up smoking, drugs, sex, thought she was madly in love with the guy who was also into drugs, she`d climb out of the window at night or he`d climb in to see her (I remember getting an awful fright when he did this once I was so scared I pretended to be asleep and not move), she then went onto stealing from places like K-Mart/Big W only small things like shampoo/deodorant but it was still stealing AND she didn`t need any of those things, worse part is she then began stealing from her family - big things like the stereo, my older sister was getting married at the time so we had quite a bit of wine and beer stored up for the after marriage party - most was stolen by N. N then totally disapered didn`t contact family for years. Years went by and I started recieving notices in the post about riding on trains without a pass and various other drug offences and stealings - it ended up that N decided to take on my name and identity how she did this I do not know even to this day, I had major problems trying to prove my identiity - fingerprints the works before they realised I wasn`t N at all - I very nearly ended up in prison and have heard it does happen that sisters take up their sisters identity and the inocent sister ends up doing time - I was one of the lucky ones. But on my records I have to prove to the police who I am and it will stay that way for 20 years, makes life very embarrassing when I`m a childcare worker and they have to check my record I have to mention to the employer about N`s problems and that they will find a record under my name but that wasn`t me. N last contacted us when she was 8 months pg - we all thought she`d come to her senses unfortunately that doesn`t seem to have happened, last I heard from her was about 3 months ago with crocodile tears wanting $80 because her wallet was stolen and couldn`t afford to feed the baby so of couse I gave her the $80 and have never heard since.

Lucy sorry to ramble on but just giving you a very brief outline of my sister and her actions, please tell your GF and her husband DO NOT blame themselves, this can happen to any family and often happens to the most loving close family. All your GF and Husband can do is hope and pray that her daughter comes to her senses before it`s too late and for her to know that your GF and husband will always be there for her no matter what - this I feel is very important. It is very hard to loose contact and always wondering did they OD, is she still alive. Your Gf can take her daughter to counselling/police all of which doesn`t seem to do any good.

Good Luck

Deeanne