Hi,
I hope you don't mind me throwing my two cents in too!

I know this doesn't sound like much help, but i guess i would help your G/F try to address the symptoms as well as the causes... Does that make sense.

Like i was having sex at 14, and i wasn't going to stop for my mother. But she made damn sure i knew waht HIV was (took me to a hospice to meet sufferers! She worked for the HIV/AIDS charity) and how to take the Pill and use condoms, we also had a lot of talks (where i sat sullen and silent but actually did take a lot in) about self-respect and choosing partners properly and the fact that if you feel you;re in love and you really ARE in love, that's not going to go away because you don't have sex immediately.

She didn't have to lecture me on drugs as i was never into them, but my brother was and she just got as much info as possible together for him, so he knew what he was doing to his body. She took him to a drugs project and let him meet the addicts and hold little heroin toddlers.

She always told us we would be old enough to make our own choices when we were old enough to make sure we were informed about our actions (i.e. knowing sex leads to pregnancy, drugs can lead to mental illness etc.). At the time when this was going on for me i felt very grown up and thought ignoring my parents showed i could make my own choices, but in retrospect of course i see that i was just a child "playing" at responsibility and thank goodness i got away relatively unscathed. But in the end, by the time i was 16 my parents skills when i was a baby came through and i turned out normal afterall.

Some kids just go off the rails and it is very scary if it is your kid, but at the end of the day i think that we all raise our kids to be good people, and even good people can do daft and dangerous things.

Remind your GF that she is a great mother and that her daughter is just going a little nuts growing up. It's like when your toddler is running under the table and smacks his head - it breaks your heart but you have to let them walk so the risk is always there. This is a learning curve for both of them. Her daughter WILL catch on eventually. Keeping her daughter at school, living at home drug-free and non-pregnant are the most important things, in a few years she'll have gotten over all this.

Hana