Hi NIc,

I'm sorry sweetheart

It sounds like you handled it amazingly for your boys hun. That's such a wonderful thing.

My cousin's favourite aunt died on my cousin's 10th birthday and her mother told her, "You and Aunt Reenie both knew how special that day is, that's why you chose it to come into this world, and she chose it to go into the next". I don't know how much help that is, but it was a big comfort to my cousin to feel the day was special and not that her aunt had in some way singled her out by dying on her birthday.

I lost my Mum January 2005 and i know what you mean about it suddenly hitting you too. What gives me immense comfort is thinking, in quiet times, of what she'd have said about different things. How she'd have loved Smee, how she'd probably have nagged me to distraction over every little point of mothering, LOL. I still hear her words, remember her smell. Forever is such i long time, it's true. Though she is apart from me now, i get to remember and love her forever too.

With love, and wishing you strength and laughter to help you in the coming weeks.

Bx