How do I deal with him?

[kirsty_lee]

Trace, I have no advice unfortunately. But I just wanted to stop by and say I am so sorry for the loss of your precious baby, I have tears in my eyes for you. I am so sorry your having to deal with this right now, and you would think that he would understand that too. Hope it all works out and you can properly grieve for your baby. Best of luck xox

[BabyButterfly]

hi
thanks ladies for all the replys, he still hasn't turned up or rang.
We did have probs with him before the death of Milana, so I don't think her death has a huge bearing on the situation now.
He got in with the wrong crowd at his old school and was wagging classes and days off. We eventually pulledhim out of the school and all seemed to be going better at the new one, but we think he has met up with his old crowd again. I think he literally ran away because he got caught wagging, he only had one change of clothes with him (to change out of his school uniform), he must stink by now.
Been down the counsellor route with him before, but the problem is he is a bit of a liar and invents many a story, this has happened from the age of about 7 or so. He likes the attention.
Going to the police again today,

[BrightSparkles]

Tracey did you get my PM?
I might be able to help you out. I'm a youth worker and hae worked in your area and also have friends working in that area,

[BabyButterfly]

Tracey did you get my PM?
I might be able to help you out. I'm a youth worker and hae worked in your area and also have friends working in that area,

hi thanks pm'd you.

Tracey

[Sammiejane]

HI Tracey,

Dont know if any of these suggestions are of any use to you, but gonna put them out there and you can give them a try if you think they may be appropriate - given that i dont know all the story.

*As he has been back to your place, maybe needs to still be around, but not if you know what i mean...
can you leave some clothes/hygiene supplies out somewhere for him that he can grab - you say he only has one set of clothes, its obvious that he is not ready to come home, but by extending this gesture he knows that you are thinking of him - make sure thou it is not sending the message - here are you clothes get out thou.
*speak to families and kids that he may see, make sure that they know that you dont want them to dob or turn him in (even though you do) but so the channels of communication are there, maybe they will give you a call and let you know that he is OK kwim
* dont keep calling, give him a bit of space, but let him know that you need to know that he is OK, maybe you could send him a text asking that he let you know that he is OK...maybe he could send you a text every few days, no location etc but just that he is OK.

I know that none of these things are getting him home, but they might in the long run. As i said i dont know the full history, but by giving him the space, but letting him know that you are still there - it may help get him back through the door sooner.

I am so sorry, no parent ever needs to go through this (i am ashamed that i put my parents through this breifly) and you REALLY dont need this now. Make sure that you get yourself some help too, are you seeing someone for PND and grief and loss? Make sure that you make time for this, you are so imprtant and you need to make sure that you are strong enough to get up every day and help your tribe....

I hope that Jenjorga has some help for you

[KimB]

Oh Tracey, a huge hug for you luv. What a terrible time you must be having.

Have you gone back to the police yet?? If you haven't, when you do ask to speak to the seargeant. The grunts on the front desk will say anything to put you off but seeing as he is a minor they have a duty of care to look for him. Don't let them put you off again, that was so wrong.

Text him and let him know that you would like to meet him just to make sure he is ok and if he wants some more clothes. This way you see him (if he decides to show up) and see how he is doing. As suggested ask him to meet you at maccas or somewhere that he likes to eat so that he knows he doesn't have to come home with you if he is not ready.

Have you talked to anyone???? Don't wear yourself out so much that you can't function. It is not good for you or the rest of your family.

Take care luv, more big hugs

Kim

[BabyButterfly]

hi all

thanks ladies, he came home Friday, the police found him.
He ran off again yesterday, but we found hime again later in the day.
Now we have to try and encourage him to stay.
I am dreading all my other children turning into teenagers!!!