How do you stay out of it?

[JBM]

i think in a way it was easier for us without the internet and mobile phones, etc etc. but girls can just be real nasty and i really don't know what you can do. if only we could put all our confidence and knowledge into their brains then they'd be o.k.
i hoe your daughter can cope and learn to ignore the nasty girls. goodluck

[Wantaminime]

Hi Abb,
I just wanted to let you know I understand your emotions as a parent. I have a 17 yr son. And for most of his school years he was bullied. It really started because he was a bright confident boy who even as a 6 year old was cheeky and had a quick wit. It made him a target. Once it was out there that he was fun to bully it seemed to follow him no matter where we went. We even moved an hour away after his father died and things didn't change. For the first couple of years I stood up for him, spoke to the parents of the kids and had meetings with the schools. I even got him councilling thinking it was maybe something he was doing. You get to a stage where you clutch at straws. In the end I decided that perhaps I was making the situation worse rather than helping. It was here that I decided that he should start fighting his own battles because the world isn't fair and yes life can be cruel.
As it turned out I made the right decision. I was always here for him ready with a cuddle and a hanky if need be and an ice cream if it was really bad, advice if it was asked for. Making him stand up for himself and letting him fight his own battles was the right thing to do. I think the first year of high school was the worst. He would often come home quiet and sullen. Being a teenager would never share. Then there was a turning in the tide.

He became confident and sure of himself. And because he stopped letting people dictate how he should feel he started making some good friends.
Now at 17 he is confident and popular and he will always stand up for the bully.
Standing back was the hardest thing to do, but it was the right thing. He was embarressed everytime I helped and if he did need help he asked.
I know it is cold comfort when your feeling the pressure but it does get better and the best advice I could give is just to be there when she calls even if it is just for a cuddle.