I would like to think that an 18yo would be mature enough to consider the needs of others as well as his own. Maybe it's time to have a chat about the bedroom arrangements and see what he suggests. I've had friends in similar situations ie having to share a room with a sibling and needing quality time with the GF, and they have taken turns camping out in the lounge for the night.
I also know of several friends that moved out of home due to not being allowed to have the GF/BF stay in their room so I think he should also acknowledge you allowing him to especially with young siblings.
The caravan option is a good idea, though they can cost a bomb to rent a can be comparable to a unit. MIL did that for BIL for a while and still carries on about how it cost thousands.
Thanks everyone, there has been some good points made.
I guess my main "gripe" is that there is a room sitting there maybe 3 nights each week that's not being used. We have moved our wardrobe (no built-ins in this house) into Ds1's room, so we can fit DD's cot in our room. Ds2 already "shares" his room with the FDC children (they use the room during the day for their sleep room - so he has a cot permanently set up as well as sleep mats during the week).
I think we need to sit down and have a talk with him and see what we can do. I'm really thinking our best option may be converting the loungeroom, I really don't want to push Ds1 out. Ds1 is a good kid, and we have always had a very open relationship, even he will say "you're not kicking me out, just giving me a little nudge". (this is when he mentioned getting stuff together to move out of home and I gave him some towels I had put away for christmas pressies last year but didn't use)
In the meantime while he is staying at his girlsfriends those night, I would move the cot into the room so you can see how your DD likes having a room, to test it out?
I agree i think its a bit much to ask an 18yr old to share a room.Yes they are old enough to understand the needs of others but so are we and quite frankly an 18yr and a teen need more privacy than a baby.
We have a sim thing here we have 5yrs between the two boys and expecting one in Jan. We only have a 3bed home too. But i decided theres no way im going to make the older two share. We have sucked it up and know we need to move.So in time we will.But mine are also younger than yours lol
I wouldn't expect an 18 y.o. to share. But I am thinking like a teen, not like a parent of a teen
It sounds like he is a great kid, so I would just talk to him about it. Make it clear you don't want him to move out and without laying on the guilts explain how you need sleep atm.
We've only been able to have a small chat with Ds1 so far, (he hasn't been home long enough to sit down with). Stayed home Fri night - after going out to dinner with gf, then left here about 1pm Sat afternoon and came back at 8am this morning (mon). He came in fri night and suggested I put a cot in his room on the nights when he isn't home. He did this after seeing the struggle I was having getting DD to sleep, and DH was already in bed. I also said to DH that he needs to stay up a little later and let me try to get DD to go to sleep in her bed rather then cuddle/pat her to sleep, which did work on Sat night, I was able to pat her to sleep in her own bed rather then in my arms.
Another idea would be for the boys to share a room, DD in the other room, but keep a bed in there for the nights the gf sleeps over, then move DD back in with us those nights in a portable cot or co-sleep with her those nights. I could then set up another cot in her room as well for the day care babies and the older kids could sleep in the loungeroom during the day.
He certainly seems to care about the situation mollycat and not just his needs which is a massive positive and a credit to him and yourself for how you have raised him- hope you find a solution that works real soon so you can get the rest you need to function properly
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