I can't do this again.

[sushee]

I don't think there is a teenager out there who doesn't know how to turn on you and blame you for their problems. I got the 'you were never there for me' assault on many occasions too, yet I felt like all I was doing for a long time was try to be there while I was actively being pushed away.

I think she may be scared, scared of going back and trying again, and maybe not succeeding again.

No excuse I know and she probably won't admit it, but trying and failing is scary to a teen, esp at a time when, at this age, she should be feeling like she's capable of anything she set her mind to. And I bet she can't even articulate what it is she's scared of, or even knows that what she's feeling is fear.

I don't know how you can reach her. I'm in even sure she wants you to reach her. So I'll send you plenty of hugs and hope she figures it out and you aren't driven off the edge as a result.

[Toomanytoomany]

I don't think there is a teenager out there who doesn't know how to turn on you and blame you for their problems. I got the 'you were never there for me' assault on many occasions too, yet I felt like all I was doing for a long time was try to be there while I was actively being pushed away.

Thank you Sushee! When I got that comment the other day, it actually comforted me that what was going on was not a "real" problem between her and me, funnily enough. It was just so blatantly untrue and such a distorted image of how things have been, that it reassured me that she is wrestling with internal demons and I didn't blame myself. That was a massive step forward for me, and it was good.

Jennjorja, thank you for that advice! I will pm you. Coincidentally, just as I was opening this thread, my dd rang me at work and told me she's made an appointment to see her counsellor this week We instituted some fairly stern consequences for the money being taken and she's responded well to a firm hand, again. She says she is really really enjoying being at school but she is clearly massively stressed about being there, and took half a day "sick" on Friday. I really want her counsellor to help her work out healthy ways of dealing with her anxiety levels, and identify what's causing the anxiety.

[KimB]

Hey guys, can so sympathise. I actually got "you are stealing my childhood" from DD1 (14) about giving her chores to do. Hell my kids have lots less to do that what I ever did!!!! I am a fairly easy going mum but I am not giving in to the emotional blackmail anymore and have gotten hard with her. She is also going through anorexia atm which doesn't help.

Ozzie - try reading "Raising Boys" by Steve Biddulph, it is excellent and explains so much. My eldest DS is 10 and is starting to cause havoc. After reading the book I now understand what is going on. Did you know that at 14/15 boys have 800% more testosterone in their system than at any other time. This causes the moodiness, being angry all the time, hyperactivity and all sorts. I can highly recommend the book.

Hope we can all cope with the teenage angst lol

Hugs and more hugs to us all

[little_Miss_Chez]

is vce by corrospondance and her continuing to work casualy an option ? if she would stick to it .

[Lulu]

Hey guys, can so sympathise. I actually got "you are stealing my childhood" from DD1 (14) about giving her chores to do.

Classic!!!

Once from Dp's DD we got "I'm 14 and a HALF, I'm not a child", then about 5 mins later when asked to clean her room "that's not fair I'm just a kid".