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Thread: Is this normal?

  1. #1

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    Default Is this normal?

    Yesterday we had some of Evans friends over from school. With each of the kindy boys that came, also came their siblings. I had no problem with this at all. BUT one of them who I think would be in yr 6 so what about 11 or 12 yrs old apparently rubbed him self on Isla's "little Mermaid"(barbie type of) doll ! Evan told DH about it last night when they were going to bed. All the boys had come in & were in the toy room. I don't think he actually exposed himself just rubbed the doll on his doodle (as evan said).

    Now is this something that I should expect of pre-pubescent boys? Or should I mention it to his mum?


  2. #2

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    Eeeek! Probably was kinda (dare I say it) common cheeky teenage boy behaviour...maybe...but I think it is VERY wrong. I would just mention it to the mum, not accussingly (sorry sp?) or anything just say that something like that might have happened and it made you (if it did that is) uncomfortable as he was a guest in your home.
    If I was the other mum I'd want to know if my son did that.

    Poor Isla's mermaid! Get scrubbing FJ!

  3. #3

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    i would be saying something too - from the POV that obviously it was enough for Evan to take notice of and comment about. just say it in conversation, as Lee mentioned, so as it doesn't come across as accusing, just enough to draw mum's attention to it... i'd also have another conversation with Evan about what is and isn't appropriate

  4. #4

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    I have teenage nephews and this sounds like something stupis they'd do. They do stuff that has me scratching my head all the time, wondering if their Mum may have dropped them on their heads when they were little or something, because I can't figure out WHAT they're thinking.

    I think this boy was just "showing off" to his mates. I don't think it was for sexual gratification or anything disgusting like that, just that sex is "naughty" and he thinks it's funny. I don't know if it's worth mentioning to his Mum at this stage, maybe give him the benefit of the doubt that it was just a one off and he was being a "boy" and if he does anything like that again, then say something?

    Evan sounds like a nice honest boy, I'm sure he'll tell you if this boy does anything else.

    HTH

  5. #5

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    At 11 or 12 they start becoming very sexually precocious, and now is probably a good time for his mother to know that her son is displaying inappropriate behaviour, not to catch her out, but just so she knows that he's not quite grasping what is okay and what is not. At 11, you may get away with it, he won't in 3 years time and if he's behaving in that way around others, then it's a good idea to point it out so it can be addressed by his parents perhaps.

    Unfortunately in my experience, this will happen, and quite a lot, as they move into years 6, 7 and 8. They are finding their feet as to what behaviour is acceptable among their peer group, and you will get those who are more overtly sexual at a younger age. My sons both hit puberty at 12, so sex was the only thing on their minds ever since unfortunately.

    Ah the perils of puberty!

  6. #6

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    Well I asked evan & it sounds as though it was just a cheeky naughty boy thing was over his clothes, he did't expose himself THANK GOD!
    Now I hardly know this women, How on earth do I bring it up in conversation?

    ETA - Turns out the boy is actually a tall 9yr old & I laughed it off telling his mum what happened & what fun I have to look forward to in having boys. She was a little shocked & said she will need to talk to him about it. But I kept it light & had a laugh about it so all's good
    Last edited by *Efjay*; May 25th, 2008 at 05:40 PM.

  7. #7

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    Well done raising the issue with his mum FJ! sounds like you did it in just the right way too. It does sound like "showing off" and I hope his mother turns it around and uses it as a good opportunity to set boundaries of what's appropriate. At least Evan felt comfortable telling you! You must have a good relationship with him... when that kind of thing happened when I was a child I was too uncomfortable to tell anyone especially my parents.

  8. #8

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    Yeah evan is good, I hope it continues that he will tell us stuff. I think at the moment he just hasn't hit that age where things become uncomfortable to share.

  9. #9

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    I think that it is really inappropriate. My son is 11 & I can't imagine him doing something like that. what blows me away in your post though is the expectation that you take all the siblings home too! Never heard of that being "normal" before. If we have a friend over, it is just that friend unless the mum comes too with the other kids.

    Kim

  10. #10

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    I think you handled it brilliantly FJ.

    Onya!

  11. #11

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    my boys would never do something like that and jeez if they did i would want to know,well done on handling it, i actually don't believe in 'cheeky naughty boy antics' of this nature, it's disrespectful and unacceptable IMHO
    beckles

  12. #12

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    Well it has turned out the boy who is Evans age (the younger brother) is actually to put it nicely.... Not the kind of child I want Evan to be friends with.
    Im not able to stop him or would I tell him not to be friends with him at school but I avoid the idea of him coming over or Evan going there.
    The boy is a trouble maker, a bully & well a little ****. Not a friendship I am going to encourage.

  13. #13

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    OH HELL ... is this what I got myself into!!!

    I am so scared of rasing boys! And I would not have handled this as well as you FJ!!

    Ps: LOVE your exit sign!!!!!

  14. #14

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    I posted recently in here about my DD who is 10 and the boys in her class who are acting just like this kid!! they have been DISGUSTING towards the girls, and the principle has been dealing with it. All I've gathered is that it is quite normal for them to show off like this and just think they are hysterically funny!!
    Im not sure what's worse to look forward to , this boy behaviour (well hopefully not everyone's boys are like this, but I am seeing at school most are. And it's a nice area, nice families) OR the [email protected] girls. Seems every day my girl is having some sort of issues with other girls and they're ALL the same! Oh the joy of tweens/teens.................AAGGGHHH

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