You know what I would do. Stop cooking meals for her etc.
If she doesn't think she should touch other peoples dirty dishes then why should YOU cook her meals?
Why should YOU wash her clothes. Why should YOU drive her places, give her money?
Is there anything on your shoppinglist you get that really you only get because you know she likes them? don't get it anymore.
Do you buy her toiletry needs? don't buy them anymore.. Well still get them but don't give them to her until she runs out & freaks out that you didn't restock the bathroom or where ever it is she keeps them.
When she starts complaining simply say in your most whinny voice possible while stomping your feet "WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO DO THESE THINGS FOR YOU?!" then storm off to your room, slam the door & turn your crappy teenybopper music up loud.
I stopped washing her clothes a long time ago. Result - piles of washing in her bedroom, then when she does put it in the machine it stays there....and stays there, at which point sometimes Dp will put it out for her (ggrrr) and even fold it and put it in her room (ggrrr).She would even complain there was lack of room on the line when/if she did get around to it, then she would throw ONE pair of jeans into the dryer we never use because it wasn't her fault there was no room on the line. Most of the time I warned her I had a big wash day and told her to get hers done first...but nooooooooo.
I stopped making her dinner - well almost. She went vego and it was too much hassle cooking for her. There are piles of frozen veg meals in the freezer though - I did that when I went to work full time.
I wont be taking her anywhere and the only money she will get is for her train ticket. We discussed an arrangement where I would put a certain amount of money in a bank account for her for day to day stuff, plus pocket money etc (when she actually earns it). Result - she couldn't be bothered going into the bank to enquire about the account or get an application. Or there was somewhere else better to go....
Did I already mention she hasn't got pocket money for about 3 years now because she doesn't get her jobs done without reminding???
Don't hang that washing out when it piles up just dump it in a basket & leave it there so you can then use the machine. If its on the line taking up space, pull it off & dump it on her bed, not in a basket & certainly not folded.
The other girls are so right there is nothing you can do about this and you just have to ride it out.
But by all means MAKE A STAND - she's going to do it anyway but you don't have to make it easy for her.
so the next time she wants a lift to the shopping centre or her friends .... point her to the bus stop
I can't imagine how hard this is for you so good luck xoxox
Gosh Lulu - I'm not looking forward to the teen years!
Is it possible to talk to her and ask her how she thinks things should work? ask her what she thinks she should do around the house and what freedoms that could possibly earn her? (I know - talking to a teenager is near impossible LOL)
The reason I say that, is I remember if I was told or reminded to do something, I'd get my back up and not do it, just because I was asked to. If I had decided to clean up my room one day, and mum came in and said 'don't you think it's about time you tidied your room' I couldn't do it.. coz it would look like I was only doing it because she asked me to LOL. Twisted teenage thinking for you!
So perhaps if you make it look like she's in charge of the negotiations, she might respond to that?
I know as a 16yr old I probably would have felt a bit bullied and ostracised if suddenly no one did anything for me and I was told off for not doing things for myself all the time. I totally get it as an adult, the whole not doing anything for her if she does nothing in return. Just trying to think like a teenager again hehe. Things can get into vicious cycles with teenagers. I'd be inclined to make use of her thinking she's grown up, and use it to your advantage. Let her make some decisions - let her choose some chores (some!) and even let her choose the fair reward and even the fair punishment if it's not done.
Of course, i have never parented a teenager - so take or leave what I just said LOL. Just my thoughts (and memories!).
*hugs* I hope she grows out of it soon and you get some peace.
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