The Princess Diaries....

[Lulu]

I stopped washing her clothes a long time ago. Result - piles of washing in her bedroom, then when she does put it in the machine it stays there....and stays there, at which point sometimes Dp will put it out for her (ggrrr) and even fold it and put it in her room (ggrrr).She would even complain there was lack of room on the line when/if she did get around to it, then she would throw ONE pair of jeans into the dryer we never use because it wasn't her fault there was no room on the line. Most of the time I warned her I had a big wash day and told her to get hers done first...but nooooooooo.

I stopped making her dinner - well almost. She went vego and it was too much hassle cooking for her. There are piles of frozen veg meals in the freezer though - I did that when I went to work full time.

I wont be taking her anywhere and the only money she will get is for her train ticket. We discussed an arrangement where I would put a certain amount of money in a bank account for her for day to day stuff, plus pocket money etc (when she actually earns it). Result - she couldn't be bothered going into the bank to enquire about the account or get an application. Or there was somewhere else better to go....
Did I already mention she hasn't got pocket money for about 3 years now because she doesn't get her jobs done without reminding???

Its a BATTLEFIELD.....and she's strong!

[tiggerandpooh]

lulu - mantra for you - "this too shall pass"

[*Efjay*]

Yes, but you are stronger.

Don't hang that washing out when it piles up just dump it in a basket & leave it there so you can then use the machine. If its on the line taking up space, pull it off & dump it on her bed, not in a basket & certainly not folded.

[Lulu]

Its bloody Dp I have to watch out for with the washing......I am happy to leave it till it smells!

[LaDeeDa]

Hi Lulu....

you poor love .... big hugs.

The other girls are so right there is nothing you can do about this and you just have to ride it out.
But by all means MAKE A STAND - she's going to do it anyway but you don't have to make it easy for her.
so the next time she wants a lift to the shopping centre or her friends .... point her to the bus stop

I can't imagine how hard this is for you so good luck xoxox

[Junglemum]

sounds like me a bit as a teenager Lulu. And i turned out ok?................ didn't i??? Ok, so maybe a bit wierd, but no nearly as self centred as i was! My mum was so awsome, and i was still a little biartch, so don't see it as your fault. I too apologised to my mum when i got older.
I agree with the 'ride it out' people. It is a teenage phase where the world revolves only around ME, me, ME, (being the teenager in question) but it will pass. Hang in there.

[Lulu]

Got a phone call from the Yr10 Co-ordinator letting me know she has an "in school" suspension. I think that means they sit in the library all day....big fricken deal, she doesn't care, she just gets all her homework done.
Anyway its because she wagged school oh Tuesday with all her mates (didn't they think anyone would notice?) The coordinator and I had a good chat and he is happy that she is moving school next year because without her friends she is a great student, her marks dont suffer but her attitude does..
So she wants to go to some band thing on the weekend, so I said no initially but after a convo with Auntie Niliac decided that wagging isn't really that bad (I mean I wagged a bit, sometimes I just needed a day off), so I go see her for a chat, shes crapped right off. Apparently its none of my business that she wagged school...

GGRraaghhhhh! I was going to let her go tonight if she promised she wouldn't do it again, just make it through the last 6 weeks or so, then its holidays anyway. Now I have to listen to that bloody awful scream music coming from her room all afternoon

[tiggerandpooh]

Your better then me - I wouldn't let her go. Actions have consequences... and if she wants a "mental Health day" (that's what I call them) then it should be something you initiate. JMO.

[Lolli]

Oh Lulu you poor thing. As a general rule, girls that age are just... nasty. To their parents and their friends. I know I was. She will grow out of it eventually. And she will be very very sorry (the way I am to my mum).
Hang on in there


ETA- Yep that backfired But look on the bright side- she is obviously a very clever girl and not goin to let anyone pull the wool over her eyes....

[kristy J]

I agree with the 'ride it out' people. It is a teenage phase where the world revolves only around ME, me, ME, (being the teenager in question) but it will pass. Hang in there.

I agree...

i was such a cow as a teen. gave my parents hell, skipped school, snuck out to go clubbing (my first night club was the burbon and beefsteak in the cross when i was 15, over 2 hours from home)
the only thing that fixed me was to leave school and get a trade. also i moved out at 17 and it turned out ok. mum alwasy said " if you need me im here no questions asked" at the time i didn't relise how much saying that helped.

one day you will look back and laugh when she is preying her kids don't act up...my mum does...

good luck

[Madham]

LuLu that is fabulous now she has something to look forward to and strive for and it sounds like she has all the support she needs from you. Well done.

[Liz]

Gosh Lulu - I'm not looking forward to the teen years!

Is it possible to talk to her and ask her how she thinks things should work? ask her what she thinks she should do around the house and what freedoms that could possibly earn her? (I know - talking to a teenager is near impossible LOL)

The reason I say that, is I remember if I was told or reminded to do something, I'd get my back up and not do it, just because I was asked to. If I had decided to clean up my room one day, and mum came in and said 'don't you think it's about time you tidied your room' I couldn't do it.. coz it would look like I was only doing it because she asked me to LOL. Twisted teenage thinking for you!

So perhaps if you make it look like she's in charge of the negotiations, she might respond to that?

I know as a 16yr old I probably would have felt a bit bullied and ostracised if suddenly no one did anything for me and I was told off for not doing things for myself all the time. I totally get it as an adult, the whole not doing anything for her if she does nothing in return. Just trying to think like a teenager again hehe. Things can get into vicious cycles with teenagers. I'd be inclined to make use of her thinking she's grown up, and use it to your advantage. Let her make some decisions - let her choose some chores (some!) and even let her choose the fair reward and even the fair punishment if it's not done.

Of course, i have never parented a teenager - so take or leave what I just said LOL. Just my thoughts (and memories!).

*hugs* I hope she grows out of it soon and you get some peace.