Lulu, to you. It's not just girls My oldest DS is 15 and well let's just say that he uses the same tactics re: dishwasher etc. I am CONSTANTLY pulling him up on how he speaks (not necessarily what he says) to me and then being all lovely and nice when he wants money or to go somewhere. Tough battle I know but we have to get to the end one day right?? lol. Soldier on is all I can offer hun oh and of course come and vent when you need to.
Phew! Just cracked my well earned beer for the day....all is quiet here for a change .
SO, DD was mildly intolerable all this week. Mum had been calling her each day for a chat, and talk things through. Mum said DD sounded pretty unhappy about everything and said she knows its stupid to wag school right now. I explained to her that I am TRYING to get her into a better school but I feel like she is going to make a fool out of me. The new school is pretty competitive and out of our zone (but easier to get to), so I told her she was up against others and if she didn't get in she would be at the closest school to us which is social suicide as it has the UGLIEST uniform you have seen in your life. She got the message.
Then it happens......she gets the call.......the boyfriend is back!
So more background, I never had time to update you on this bit but the BF was suspended from school for 6 WEEKS, along with 2 of his mates for......get this
FIREBOMBING the house of some kid they didn't like. **** !!! Now that came right out of left field and I'm probably going over the top but they chucked a couple of molotov ****tails at the house, the car and verandah caught on fire. OMG again. I can't tell you how disappointed I was in BF. DD tells me they were all very shocked and totally underestimated what happened but.......whadaya say? No one was hurt BTW, but it could have been tragic.
DD mentioned he was in trouble and I only put 2 and 2 together when I read it in the local paper So he got sent away to his dads in QLD.... WOO HOO!!!
Until this week, when DD tells me he is coming back and can she please have Wednesday off to go see him? Uuummmm NO, she had Thursday off and she could see him then and on the weekend. I even invited him to my nephews 1st B'day on Sunday. All good.
I even ring her yesterday am to check she was on her way to school. She lied. I got a call from the school, so I called her and got another w@nkey type drama story - her friend P got beaten up by his older brother and she had to help him look for a place to live.
Hey, feel free to go make a cuppa and have a wee, theres heaps to go yet
So I just go OFF, its bollocks - every time she is in trouble P is right in the middle of it and Im sick of hearing his name by this stage. I told her it had nothing to do with her, he probably got his ass kicked for being a little turd anyway and she could get her butt home right now.
30 mins later a car pulls up, it's the BF and his mum. GOOD, I wanna talk to her about WHY she let my daughter hang out at her place all day when she is supposed to be in school.
She wanted to chat and mentioned that she did ask if it was ok DD was not at school and DD lied and said I knew she wasn't going today.....Anyhoo, we got some stuff sorted and both us mums said "righto - you want to see each other, thats fine - but no more stuffing about. No way is DD to have time off school because BF is home" (he might return to school or get a job they are unsure, but his mum is right on top of that), we made all our expectations crystal clear - bullet points and all, and both of them agreed that this will be a new start. No more buggerising around.
And you know what. I feel fantastic about it, and I really feel like they will do the right thing. They now know they will have to face both parents if they play up.
They both looked tickled pink to see each other, all shy again and blushing away. It was really quite sweet. They have been together for about 18 months I think now and you can't really argue with that. Its clear to see they care about each other and JAYSUS does the BF look great!
Lulu cracks another beer
Sending him to his dads is QLD has made a huge impact. BF was always a rather big, imposing lad (he wore a hood over his face his entire primary school years trying to make himself smaller I think), but he was sort of 'soft' iykwim? Being of the emo type genre, most of their free time is spent chilling out to music and getting all angsty in a dark room so being out on a huge property with patchy internet and no mobile coverage saw the young lad off in the fresh air and rounding up cattle (c'mon a little bit of artistic licence never hurt...) and dirtbikes and paddock bashers. Well bugger me is he hadn't dropped some weight, his skin is all glowy (rather than pasty) and he had a new confidence - actually looking me in the eye and chatting away. He's a new kid.
So DD happily took the punishment of cleaning up the toy room, and had it sparkling in 20 mins. Way better than what I could do....so we happy.
omg, what an epic. I really should post more often....
brilliant lulu - just brilliant. good feeling when you have those "i'm doing great as a mummy" isnt it? make sure you are reaching over and patting yourself on the back hun - you deserve it.
My DD had a wee hissy fit tonight - DS came home from school, in tears. A high school kid on the bus had called him ET - Saying he has a big head. and laura just laughed at nathan and said "that's my adopted brother" instead of backing him up. I was NOT impressed, she should have known better, and done accorrdingly. I was very disappointed in her. Strangely, being disappointed in her seems to have a much better effect then being angry at her. I sent her to her room - because I really couldn't talk about it - without getting angry. I even had a cry about it. I felt she let her brother down so much, by not sticking up for him, and it broke my heart. .... any way enough about me - this is your princess's diaries - not mine. Yay for the victory - and brilliant that BF mum is on side - united front!!!
DD1 got so RANCID I can't even describe it. Rude, pushy, calling me names when she didn't get what she wanted then being sweet as pie when she needed something. I didn't know if I was Arthur or Martha half the time. Some days we could have lovely chats, then she was throwing things at me.
I don't let anyone treat me like that, least of all my daughter and that's why I really did lock her out of the house for a couple of weeks. She was living the the self contained unit out the back of my house (poor baby) so it's not like she was roughing it.
It came to a head when I found alcohol in her room and confiscated it. I was in her room to check she had turned the heater off and found such a revolting mess (the lazy so and so). She got physical with me and I ended up having to literally take control of her and push her out of the house and lock the door So my days of being a nightclub door biartch came in handy. It was bloody awful though and took ages to get over it.
I told her to rack off for the weekend, so she did and ended up telling everyone I kicked her out . I stepped in with the local community youth place and they found her somewhere to live (supported housing). It's really close to her school.
Once I knew she was safe I just let her go. I was pretty powerless about it but JJEEEEZE it made such a difference to me at home. No more stress and tension, no more arguments.
So now she pays her own way, has a curfew (that she doesn't ignore) cooks and cleans. Totally independent, goes to school and his hoping to be a midwife.
It took awhile for her to mend the bridges with me, she put me through hell and I didn't deserve it (or did the rest of the family), but things are really good now. We even play guitar hero when we can, she appreciates things alot more....but she still expects me to run around after her ....which I DON'T.
Long story short Lulu, we're having problems with DSD AGAIN. Can you tell me what the deal was with the local community youth place ie. would they only take her if you said she'd been kicked out and is it means-tested on parental income?
I actually refused to kick her out. She had it good at my place and insisted she didn't run away from her responsibilities. When she decided not to come home I found out the hoe-bag parent that I thought had a nice house not far from me, had actually left her husband and was living in a BOARDING HOUSE...with MY DAUGHTER.
Thats when I called them in. It was a division of Anglicare I think, they are very good with Youth. She was declared independent through 'family breakdown' (so she got what she wanted ) and I was REALLY angry about it and fought it all the way, because at the end of the day it was about her not wanting load the dishwasher or come home for dinner.
So if SDD managed to do the same (unreasonable to live at home provision - vomit) she MAY be able to tap into some sort of Anglicare support. I'm not sure if youth allowance is means tested if UTLAH comes into it though. It would be worth a phone call to Clink to check. You know Clink will cane her BUTT about either going to school or working...but that will be her problem and probably the best thing for her. You won't know yourself once she is out of the way (aren't I HORRIBLE???, yes but it's true, you have enough to worry about right now).
If it's not means tested, and if you consider that it is unreasonable for her to live there it might be the way forward hun xoxoxo
her frontal lobe is starting to develop lol... thank god!
... I now have the teen queen. ... but she's beautiful - vivacious- PITA - passionate-courageous-drives me up the wall at times... sure as hell makes life interesting.
Registered User
to you. It's not just girls
My oldest DS is 15 and well let's just say that he uses the same tactics re: dishwasher etc. I am CONSTANTLY pulling him up on how he speaks (not necessarily what he says) to me and then being all lovely and nice when he wants money or to go somewhere. Tough battle I know but we have to get to the end one day right?? lol. Soldier on is all I can offer hun oh and of course come and vent when you need to.
whatever works lulu!
.
!!! Now that came right out of left field and I'm probably going over the top but they chucked a couple of molotov ****tails at the house, the car and verandah caught on fire. OMG again. I can't tell you how disappointed I was in BF. DD tells me they were all very shocked and totally underestimated what happened but.......whadaya say?
No one was hurt BTW, but it could have been tragic.
So my days of being a nightclub door biartch came in handy. It was bloody awful though and took ages to get over it.
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