My eldest son is 14 and lately his behaviour and language are becoming so bad that I am ready to pack his bags and send him to his Dad's. I know that this sounds extreme and it is but I'm al my wits end as to what to do.

On Saturday he had football, we were all up inside and getting ready when Joel came through the back door and abused/swore at us for not waking him up as he had to be there at 8.50am, this was for warm up not the game. However, he forgot and thought that was game time, eventually after trying to get him to settle and telling him several times that he had plenty of time and kick off was later he settled. Well sort of.

Jump forward to 9.20 and he still isn't ready. We drive him to the game where he has to pay hise registration fees beofre he can play and now the game is about to kick off, he goes and pays and the lady "takes forever" he comes back to car screaming and swearing because now it's too late and he won't be able to play. We tell him to hurry up, put his shorts on and go down. This results in a huge outburst of screaming and swearing.
DP gets out of the car and takes Noah with him eaving me to deal with it.

I get called every name under the sun at which point I loose it and tell him he can **** walk home as I want nothing to do with him. Not nice I know but hey.

Anyway trying to cut this all day event shorter we have another outburst that night when we were leaving to go to Noah's party, we leave the house with him at home. I tell him to call his Dad to come and pick him up.

I guess what I want or need to know is what can I do to fix this. I don't know what to do. It seems whenever I mention this to anyone they then look down on Joel and while I know he is being a turd he is also my child. It would be so easy just to send him to his Dad, but then what am I doing, I am turning away my child whenever he has issues. I have tried talking to him and it is to no avail. He likes to bash up his younger brother (12 yo) and generally likes to throw his weight around.

This is causing problems in my house with my DP and I too. He can't handle seeing the way Joel is treating me but doesn't like to say anything because of the backlash so instead he just tells me he will just leave then because he doesn't want to put up with it.....

As you can see I have a dilema.