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Thread: She wants to leave school at 15

  1. #19

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    Sushee,
    I have tried to reply on a few occasions & ended up having to go tend to Indah or Maddy or DH!!!
    Basically I was exactly same as your daughter, I have a yr 9 pass as I wagged most of yr10, or half the time showed up majorly hungover & slept!
    I used to sneak out at night & go party with my older friends.
    In the end Mum would drop me off at the Disco's as I was walking there alone anyways & she said it was safer for her to drive me there...
    I'd get home & shower & put on my school uniform & wander to school, with sunglasses on.
    Mum & Dad refused to buy me the books in year 10, so when I did go to school (mostly to plan the weekend with mates) I'd have 1 pen & 1 piece of paper!
    So I got bored of that & got myself a job, I got up every morning by myself & walked to work, it was as a cashier at the local Safeway, within 6 months I was promoted to 2IC (I was 16.5yrs).
    By the time I was 17, I was working in the Deli & within 3 months of being in the Deli I was 2IC there, I was then promoted to Deli Manager just before my 18th birthday, I still walked to work daily & became responsible, I bought a car & was a bit of a hoon, but compared to school, I loved working. School just was not my thing! I hated it, yet I threw myself into my work, I was working 10-12hours a day as Manager & won a few awards & regulalrly had my display case used in promo's!

    I now work for a Confectionery company in a role that is generally for University Degree holders, but I was trained years ago to help another person, she left & they offered me the role on a permanent level, I work with Professor's & almost everyone I deal with has a 4-6yr University Degree that they gtot with honors etc...
    But that means nothing to me, I can do my job & I take pride in my work.
    As the Big Manager has told me... I have people/person skills & that's more important!

    I was also the popular girl at school & have always had a large number of girl & boy friends...

    But I have survived, so will your girl...

    I gave my parents a hard time when I was growing up, but I now earn more money than my professionally qualified BIL, @ a job I enjoy doing & for a company I like working for...

    My parents say i fell outta an @ss!
    Coz each time I went to bali for 6+months I'd quit whatever job I was doing & call the Company back when i got home & within a week of being back in OZ, I'd landed a job...



    So once she makes the move & get's a job... She will hopefully get herself together!!!

    Good Luck!!!

  2. #20

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    Hi all and thanks to everyone who so actively discussed this with me, making me feel confident about dealing with my DD.

    Just wanted to give everyone a little update on everything.

    Ariani didn't make any real effort to find a job over the last month or so and she and I agreed that if she hadn't secured something by the first week of January, she would return to Year 11. She was very unhappy about this but it still didn't motivate her much. She admitted to not knowing what she wanted to do, which at 15 is understandable, and I convinced her that until she had a better idea, perhaps she should keep her options open by staying at school.

    Well, as it turns out, the person who has bought over my parents cafe (where Ariani works part-time) spoke to her late last week and has offered her full-time work at adult wages. He believes she's good at what she does and is willing to pay her the same as the other full-timers, on a 2 year workplace agreement, on a 38 hour week. He is also going through the process of getting his business approved by the Education Dept for her to be employed full-time there, and has received conditional approval already.

    She has negotiated with her employer (at my advice) that, if she wishes, that she is allowed to go back to Tafe in 2007 to study to be a chef, and to do her work placement with him. He has happily agreed to this as well.

    While this is not my ideal scenario, she ended up fulfilling her end of the bargain. When I spoke to her over the weekend, she said she felt that she would have to eventually look at further studies, and I hope that she means it and will follow through with it when she's ready.

    I can only cross my fingers from here that her life turns out okay. I can't help but worry about her, but your stories have made me feel better about her choices.

    Thanks everyone for being so supportive and wonderful.

    love
    sushee

  3. #21

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    Sushee,
    I have no doubt you will see a much happier girl, who does start taking responsibility much further!!!

    She has now been given the opportunity to prove herself & I bet she does!

    Well done matey!!!

  4. #22
    Tigergirl1980 Guest

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    Oh I think that's wonderful. I know you are going to be worried about her, but when do you ever stop being worried about your kids, I'm 25 and my mum still worries about me

    Anyway, atleast she will be out of trouble this way and she can't possibly wag work because they will miss her for sure, and she is thinking about future studies which is fabulous. She might become one of Australia's top chef's or something, I'm sure that most chef's probably don't end up finishing school, so she might just be following the trend there

    I think she'll end up proving herself too!

  5. #23
    Diesel Guest

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    Your story sounds familar. I was top of my class all the way until the end of year 7, years 8, 9 and 10 I pretty much only attended school for the social aspect. I could acheive strong marks without much study and scored and A average.

    Year 11, I started dating and having frees - and giving myself frees. I lost all interest in school and left, I found a full-time position and within 18mths was an office manager with 4 staff underneath me. After studying and still working, I managed to become Finance Manager (Accountant) of a medium international company.

    My husband also left school after year 10. He trained for a trade and has recently started his own business. Schooling is NOT everything, if your daughter isn't into school, not amount of pushing is going to make her stay.

  6. #24

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    hows your dd doing now sushee??
    i know shes alot older but wondered how it turned out?
    love rach xxxx

  7. #25

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    I'm a youth worker working with this exact issue.
    Have a look into a program called Youth pathways. Their aim is to re engage young people into school to complete year 12 or find alernatives eg... apprenticeships/traineeships.
    Also get her to register with job networks. They often have allot of free courses running where she can access a cert 2/3in whichever she wants to do.

    Maybe get someone other than yourself maybe a teacher she gets along with or a close adult friend that she gets on with to try and find out why it is she doesn't want to go to school. Sometimes there is other things going on that make sure hard for these kids.
    Maybe chat to the school, I know some schools have an incentive program in place for studnets that keep wagging classes??

    Also, maybe a TAFE setting complete year 10 might be helpful. The school system unfortunatly doesn't cater for all types of students.

    See how you go with these suggestions, if they don't work let me know I can find out what else is available to you.

  8. #26

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    Jenni - the OP was in 2005

  9. #27

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    i was readin through old posts lol.

  10. #28

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    LOL....yep me too... was reading through old post...
    Oh well....someone might find the info useful....

    (was having one of those mornings....didn't even look at the dates LOL)

  11. #29

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    Lol thanks for the input girls and yes it's good for someone who may be going through it to read it through. For those who don't know, it turned out that she was actually battling a drug addiction (which she kept very well hidden for a long while) and was one of the reasons she lost all interest in school. We consequently had a difficult few months when her addictions were at their worst, but she eventually did come out the other end.

    So she's doing well now. She worked in a cafe for a year, then a fancy restaurant for another year - got some hospitality qualifications in the process - but just as she was about to start her chef's apprenticeship she and her boss got into a bust up and she quit. She's now living with her BF and they're talking about getting married and having children, so she's not actively looking for work, just doing some part-time work at her BF's brother's marine shop.

    Not exactly how I expected her life to turn out, but she's clean, and she's in a stable relationship, and if she ideally decides to wait a few years before having a baby, I can say I'd be fairly secure in the knowledge that she'll be okay.

    And yes, despite the fact that she's almost 19, I still worry about her.

  12. #30

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    thats great news sushee...im pleased that she has kicked her addiction, and has settled down.
    wish her all the best with her chef training and its amazing what a few years make.
    well done on getting her through it - be proud
    love rach xxxx

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