Talking to 15yo niece about alcohol... need advice...

[Lulu]

TBH its not the drinking itself that worried me the most, its the drinking and being unsupervised at the camping ground!

Eeer YEAH. I'd be asking your sister why she thought it was ok for a bunch of underage teens to go camping by themselves??? I'd put this straight back onto her and tell her to sort out her stance as as mother on these issues. Its not ok to allow her to be unsupervised then cane her for acting exactly like a teenager would - then washing her hands of it all by asking you to talk to her.
Ok that sounded a bit harsh..sorry, it might be time for clearer ground rules. Setting teens up to fail isn't a good way to test your trust in them.

I would take a totally different angle on it, especially since you be cool Aunty Leash. Don't lecture her about the evils of drinking, you can pull out all the facts and refer to stats but its going to sound the same blah, blah, blah as she is getting from everyone else.
Instead just start it off by saying - hey, heard you got in trouble the other night....and listen to her version of it. She might have had a terrible time, she might have seen her friends act like dheads, or get sick or pash on with guys they don't like. Go with the flow, if she goes on about how brilliant it was maybe you could gently point out the safety issues, alcohol poisoning is rife amongst the young ones. Let her know how much is too much. Seriously - some kids go off and literally down half a bottle of spirits in one go, they have no idea.
Let her know how to look out for her friends, stick together and not let each other go home with strange, yet charming blokes etc etc. When it is neccesary to call an ambulance, watch out for anyone if they have passed out etc. Keep it sort of light but NOT. Let her know your own Golden Rules of drinking and what your standards are.

Also, give her ways to excuse herself from drinking. Give her ways to say "no thanks", and tips on keeping herself safe.
If you go the lecture path(which you will suck at anyway cos you too cool), she won't hear anything at all.
If you give her some practical advice about the realities and maybe an anecdote of your own, she might just go away and have a ponder and remember what you said when she really needs it.

HTH XOXOXOXOXO

[AnyDream]

Awww Lulu I want YOU to be my mum!!! That's great advice (trying to stuff it all into my head so I can use it in a few years time when it's my DD facing this stuff)!

[Hoody]

Awww Lulu I want YOU to be my mum!!! That's great advice (trying to stuff it all into my head so I can use it in a few years time when it's my DD facing this stuff)!

Just what i was about to say great advice Lulu

[LaDeeDa]

I want to adopt Lulu too!!!

Leash, I really agree with the others on this

I recently had to have this chat with my 16 yo bro as he's started to be in similar situations.
He still remembers what it was like when i was in hospital because I lost my stomach lining at 16 from drinking a bottle of bacardi straight.... not my finest hour (the result is I now don't drink at all)
so I have to admit I was a little surprised to be seeing photos of him on myspace passed out in his own vomit.... but thats another thread.

The thing is unless she is one very secure in her own skin girl then she is probably going to be in these situations regardless of what anyone says to her.....peer pressure is pretty hard to get around

Personally, I would be trying to make sure that she makes smart choices about the where and the who with...and if you can give her ways to say no without copping any flak even better.

Also, I'm with Lulu why was she allowed to go camping without adult supervision in the first place?

I hope your chat with her goes really well!!!

[Indadhanu]

Thanks so much everyone... Lulu, thank you so much Pfffft at me being cool though
I really like the idea of giving her ways to get out of drinking too.

Oh, I'm not 100% on whether SIL actually ALLOWED her to go camping by themselves, I *think* it was supposed to be a sleepover at someones house. Not entirely sure...

[mrsmac]

I agree with Lulu. I can now discuss alcohol with my 16yr old very calmly and she feels comfortable about telling me when she has had alcohol or what her friends get up to when they drink. I think for her seeing her friends really drunk and having to look after then has put her off to a certain extent.
I would ask her what things she think could have happened out there in the bush in the worst case scenario. Also ask her who she thinks she has hurt and how, make her realise she has hurt herself too. (th youth liason officer at the police station gave me those tips)
She needs to take ownership of the situation rather than someone just telling her she is a naughty girl.
Good luck

[Indadhanu]

Thanks for that mrsmac