Talking to 15yo niece about alcohol... need advice...

[Hoody]

Awww Lulu I want YOU to be my mum!!! That's great advice (trying to stuff it all into my head so I can use it in a few years time when it's my DD facing this stuff)!

Just what i was about to say great advice Lulu

[LaDeeDa]

I want to adopt Lulu too!!!

Leash, I really agree with the others on this

I recently had to have this chat with my 16 yo bro as he's started to be in similar situations.
He still remembers what it was like when i was in hospital because I lost my stomach lining at 16 from drinking a bottle of bacardi straight.... not my finest hour (the result is I now don't drink at all)
so I have to admit I was a little surprised to be seeing photos of him on myspace passed out in his own vomit.... but thats another thread.

The thing is unless she is one very secure in her own skin girl then she is probably going to be in these situations regardless of what anyone says to her.....peer pressure is pretty hard to get around

Personally, I would be trying to make sure that she makes smart choices about the where and the who with...and if you can give her ways to say no without copping any flak even better.

Also, I'm with Lulu why was she allowed to go camping without adult supervision in the first place?

I hope your chat with her goes really well!!!

[Indadhanu]

Thanks so much everyone... Lulu, thank you so much Pfffft at me being cool though
I really like the idea of giving her ways to get out of drinking too.

Oh, I'm not 100% on whether SIL actually ALLOWED her to go camping by themselves, I *think* it was supposed to be a sleepover at someones house. Not entirely sure...

[mrsmac]

I agree with Lulu. I can now discuss alcohol with my 16yr old very calmly and she feels comfortable about telling me when she has had alcohol or what her friends get up to when they drink. I think for her seeing her friends really drunk and having to look after then has put her off to a certain extent.
I would ask her what things she think could have happened out there in the bush in the worst case scenario. Also ask her who she thinks she has hurt and how, make her realise she has hurt herself too. (th youth liason officer at the police station gave me those tips)
She needs to take ownership of the situation rather than someone just telling her she is a naughty girl.
Good luck

[Indadhanu]

Thanks for that mrsmac

[sushee]

Leasha,

I only just saw this and I think Lulu's given you great advice. At this age, kids value their friends' opinions over anyone else, and you're in the unique position of being in that 'in between' stage of being young enough to be cool but old enough to lend some experience to what you say.

I have to admit, I never allowed my kids out overnight unsupervised, but it did not stop them from drinking whenever they got together at their friends' homes, where the parents who were supervising them were the ones who supplied the drinks. So I think these days, there are those sorts of pressures on kids to drink alcohol no matter where they turn.

I think the best we can do as adults is to be good examples, drink responsibly ourselves, talk frequently about the negatives of alcohol (that relate to them, like pashing a boy you wouldn't normally give the time of day to, or having your friends make fun of you because you did something stupid while drunk) and hope for the best. Peer pressure is such a difficult thing to counter, and I reckon that unless she becomes convinced that drinking is uncool - and I think that requires a society-wide change of attitude - parents are always going to be battling with teenaged drinking.