I`m also a Step Mummy to 2 lovely boys - Michael who is 12 and Alister who is 11. They live with their Mum and we have them every other weekend (Friday after school until Monday morning) plus half of the school holidays. The boys were 10 and 11 when I fell pregnant with Matthew.

Mark and I both thought it was very important to involve the boys as much as possible with a new baby coming, this even included before TTC we`d tell them that they will have a baby brother or sister soon, we`d ask them what would they prefer?

When I was pregnant the boys were told 2 days after we found out, I found photos on the net of developing babies and showed them what the baby would look like at each stage, they couldn`t wait for me to get a tummy. Once baby was moving I got them to place their hand on my belly so they could feel, I showed them the u/s photos and when we found out the sex we told them, they did want a sister but got a brother, I just told them they`ll have to pray harder next time for a baby sister

Towards the end of my pregnancy Alister (being the younger one) would put his hand on my tummy when he felt like it which I thought was a marvelous step afterall he was Daddy`s Baby until his little brother was born.

We were told via the boys Mum that Alister was having some issues with the baby, neither Mark or I ever saw this, I think it`s just something the X assumed would happen. Ok they would have loved a little sister but they adore Matthew, when he was born Mark rang them straight away and told them the news plus his name (Matthew`s name was kept a secret from everyone), they were also told I`d have to have a c/s so they knew approximately when baby would be born.

When the boys visited Matthew for the first time, they both got a hold, they watched him being bathed, dressed etc.

The boys have always been aware that there will be more brothers nd sisters in the future.

The main thing is to get them involved as much as possible so they don`t feel left out, after all the youngest is atm Daddy`s baby until his new baby comes along.

HTH