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Thread: For those with Stepchildren

  1. #1

    Join Date
    May 2005
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    Good ole NZ !!
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    1,870

    Default For those with Stepchildren

    Hi guys...

    I have 2 stepsons 13 & 9......

    We have them every 2nd weekend...

    What I was wondering is...



    How did your stepchildren react to having a new sibling & what ways did you include them in the pregnancy etc so they didnt feel left out?

    We have been asking them to think of names for the baby & have shown them the scan photo... what other ways can we involve them?


    TIA

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Hunter Valley, Wine Country, NSW
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    3,006

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    I`m also a Step Mummy to 2 lovely boys - Michael who is 12 and Alister who is 11. They live with their Mum and we have them every other weekend (Friday after school until Monday morning) plus half of the school holidays. The boys were 10 and 11 when I fell pregnant with Matthew.

    Mark and I both thought it was very important to involve the boys as much as possible with a new baby coming, this even included before TTC we`d tell them that they will have a baby brother or sister soon, we`d ask them what would they prefer?

    When I was pregnant the boys were told 2 days after we found out, I found photos on the net of developing babies and showed them what the baby would look like at each stage, they couldn`t wait for me to get a tummy. Once baby was moving I got them to place their hand on my belly so they could feel, I showed them the u/s photos and when we found out the sex we told them, they did want a sister but got a brother, I just told them they`ll have to pray harder next time for a baby sister

    Towards the end of my pregnancy Alister (being the younger one) would put his hand on my tummy when he felt like it which I thought was a marvelous step afterall he was Daddy`s Baby until his little brother was born.

    We were told via the boys Mum that Alister was having some issues with the baby, neither Mark or I ever saw this, I think it`s just something the X assumed would happen. Ok they would have loved a little sister but they adore Matthew, when he was born Mark rang them straight away and told them the news plus his name (Matthew`s name was kept a secret from everyone), they were also told I`d have to have a c/s so they knew approximately when baby would be born.

    When the boys visited Matthew for the first time, they both got a hold, they watched him being bathed, dressed etc.

    The boys have always been aware that there will be more brothers nd sisters in the future.

    The main thing is to get them involved as much as possible so they don`t feel left out, after all the youngest is atm Daddy`s baby until his new baby comes along.

    HTH

  3. #3
    froofy Guest

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    I found with our daughter (now five) being born, the two boys really seemed to enjoy it and my step daughter isn't quite so thrilled. She was the baby before Harmony came along, and was the only girl, so I think the issues come from there. We couldn't do too much to involve the kids as they are on the other side of the country, but we just tried to keep them up to date with what was going on. The eldest seems the most interested in her nowadays, and the step daughter still doesn't seem to like our daughter very much. But, usually by the end of a visit, she will draw a nice picture for her. I think each time she sees her, she needs to warm to the idea, and deal with her feelings. It must be very hard for her

  4. #4
    froofy Guest

    Default

    I found with our daughter (now five) being born, the two boys really seemed to enjoy it and my step daughter isn't quite so thrilled. She was the baby before Harmony came along, and was the only girl, so I think the issues come from there. We couldn't do too much to involve the kids as they are on the other side of the country, but we just tried to keep them up to date with what was going on. The eldest seems the most interested in her nowadays, and the step daughter still doesn't seem to like our daughter very much. But, usually by the end of a visit, she will draw a nice picture for her. I think each time she sees her, she needs to warm to the idea, and deal with her feelings. It must be very hard for her

  5. #5

    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Good ole NZ !!
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    Thanks heaps ladies for sharing your experiences.....

    I have taken some the things you did onboard Dee & i will show them pictures of the developing baby, u/s pics etc


    Thanks again & I will let you know how things are going....

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Hunter Valley, Wine Country, NSW
    Posts
    3,006

    Default

    Mitch - I look forward to hearing how you get on

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