WDYT of this invitation??

[Lulu]

Speaking of scary parenting and drug/alcohol issues....

DD just dropped this invite on my desk.

Hay you are invited to xxxx sweet 16th etc etc 8.30pm to 1am
Dress up as you you want to be blah, blah, blah and in bold BYO and if you don't bring you don't drink (no sharing). WTF?

So obviously it means alcohol, which bothers me but why can't you share? What is the deal there?

Anyway, I will ring the parents of this child and I'm sure they will give me enough info to keep DD at home.

My issue - why is alcohol the main focus of the night? What kind of parent promote drinking at a SIXTEENTH?

This is Dumb.

NB - I DON'T beleive teens should drink alcohol before they are 18, I have my views, they have been discussed on here before. I'm more shocked that a childs parents woudl allow this.

[Muppity]

Unfortunately it is just the way it is. Lots of 16year olds drink and lots of parents let them.

I suppose in one way the parents were trying to be supportive of different parenting styles and saying OK if you allow your child to drink that is OK and if you don't want them to that is OK as well.

Its a really hard one and quite often drinks will be spiked (a friend had an incident recently where her 16year old sister took a bottle of "lemonade" to a party and it was discovered later that it was mainly vodka)

My advice is, if you really aren't comfortable with it don't let your DD go but this may be a slightly better environment to let her party because at least the parents involved are being open about it rather than hiding their head in the sand.

Another possibility is that you could volunteer to go along and assist as that way you would be better able to monitor your daughter and the behaviour of the other kids that are there.

[jaspen]

my issue is the same as yours lulu - what the **** is with the promotion of, let alone allowance for alcohol at a 16th. I understand that some 16yr olds will drink and that some parents allow it but advertising a party in this way doesn't sit comfortably with me

the whole not sharing thing usually has to do with the fact that often there are people in the group that never bring but always want to be "part of the fun" so to speak or that is what I would assume on reading it - and people are sick of the "free loaders"

but as i said the fact that it is there in the first place indicates they plan on drinking and probably not in small quantities and this is my concern and not something i'd be comfortable with either

ETA - It didn't even cross my mind that the parents were trying to control the situation (even if naively) with the no sharing comment - I've obviously known too many "freeloaders" in the past LOL

[Rouge]

Dumb

They probably say no sharing so that if kids don't BYO then they obviously aren't allowed to drink, trying to be wise IMO but its still stupid because as if kids aren't going to share. Its like trying to put out a fire with gasoline then wondering why there's an explosion... I'll leave it there or I could get offensive LOL!

Have you got an older sister/cousin/friend that could chaperone?

[*Nessa*]

well considering its actually illegal to suplly alcohol to a minor even if it is on your own property i would seriuosly consider after having a chat witht he parents (ifs thats what you are planning on)

then taking the invite down to the loacl police station, they are becooming more and more fed up with what children are allowed to do lately so they may take notice and if they are aware it could inculde a visit beofre or during the party to the parents.

[Lulu]

DD is 16 this year, I said she could have a party but now I'm shuddering.

I threw her the worlds BEST 14th party which was copied endlessley through the year, but that was then. Now what?? lol how do you throw a 16th? I was in hospital getting my tonsils out and I can't even remember any of the 16ths I went to - because I'm OLD, not because I was drunk at them....

[Muppity]

LOL Lulu! I must be getting old too because I was trying to remember 16th's as well!

I know for sure that we would not have even considered drinking at a 16th

[jaspen]

i can't remember too many either..

i don't think we had "sweet" sixteens too often - certainly not among my friends - it was more girls nights in, sleepovers, or dinner ..... none of which involved alcohol