WDYT of this invitation??

[Lulu]

DD is 16 this year, I said she could have a party but now I'm shuddering.

I threw her the worlds BEST 14th party which was copied endlessley through the year, but that was then. Now what?? lol how do you throw a 16th? I was in hospital getting my tonsils out and I can't even remember any of the 16ths I went to - because I'm OLD, not because I was drunk at them....

[Muppity]

LOL Lulu! I must be getting old too because I was trying to remember 16th's as well!

I know for sure that we would not have even considered drinking at a 16th

[jaspen]

i can't remember too many either..

i don't think we had "sweet" sixteens too often - certainly not among my friends - it was more girls nights in, sleepovers, or dinner ..... none of which involved alcohol

[Rach75]

BYO and if you don't bring you don't drink (no sharing). WTF?

while I dont like the idea of kids drinking before 18 either, maybe a beer with dad when they are 16 after a hard days work etc........

anyway I read this to mean if you dont bring your own drinks ou dont drink therefore lets say tom and jack, Toms parents give him drinks but Jacks dont the invite says tom can drink but because Jack didn't bring any he isn't allowed to have any, hence keeping the kids who aren't allowed to drink free from alcohol IYKWIM!!!

[fionas]

I think it's nuts and impractical regardless of views on under-age drinking. How on earth are the host parents going to keep track of who brought what and whose parents allow them to drink and whose don't? This puts too much responsibility on the kids NOT to share. Great party where half are allowed to drink and half aren't! Just won't work.

My SD who is no angel decided for her 14th that she wanted to go to a coolish indian restaurant with no parents allowed. They were allowed to take their own CDs and there was a bit of a dance area and we knew the place didn't serve alcohol and presumably wouldn't a whole lot of drunk teenagers on hand. Plus they promised to not allow anyone in who wasn't invited. And she told us that she was making everyone pay the $15 three-course banquet so we didn't need to worry about paying anything!

I was quite surprised at her lowkey choice given that a lot of her friends parents spent quite a few hundred dollars hiring out reception places. So we let her do her own thing and her dad picked her up at 11pm and there were no dramas.

TBH I think the whole party thing is overdone. Kids don't need to have a party every year and I think they feel the pressure too of having to think of something ever more wonderful than their friends.

[ajm mum]

Hello
I faced this delemia on the weekend just gone my 16 year old dd an invite to a supervised alcohol friendly 16th birthday!!! I ended up saying yes to the invite but with 3 rules I drop off i pick up and NO DRINKING we also told her we trust her and if this trust was broken things would change. She went her friends drank got sick and she came home told me how dumb they were and how drinking just causes fights (this is how party ended with police) This time it worked out ok but im dreding the next invite. I think if we drop off and pick up they cant get away with drinking without permission as we could tell. so if they follow a few limits and definatly NO SLEEPOVERS and give us reason to trust them then i think this is a good introduction to partys with alcohol.

[briggsy's girl]

ok, you might all hate me here - but i think the parents are being pretty responsible by doing what they're doing. i guess they're looking at NOT being there to supply or allow others to supply alcohol to another child and trying to maintain a degree of control of the situation. the hope would be that, if the kid turns up with alcohol, then the parents know about it. i know that won't ALWAYS be the case - but i'll be upfront and say i've had younger friends (15-18) come to my place and drink - when the parents have said it's ok - if the parents haven't told me directly - there is no way in hell alcohol will pass them lips!!

i was the youngest in my group of friends by about 12 months, so when i was 16 they were all turning 17. my parents allowed me to drink with them, on the proviso i only drank what they supplied - it took me ages to drink a bottle of grog cos there was no "thrill" with sneaking around. my friends, who's parents allowed them a small amount of alcohol, didn't binge drink - the ones that were forbidden were the ones that lied about where they were going, and would get older friends to buy for them - they were the ones that wrote themselves off completely - half the time i'd just stop drinking at all and go home cos they were making idiots of themselves....

i'm not saying that a birthday party invite should be worded the way it is - and lulu i completely understand your concerns and why you're contemplating not letting DD go - i'm just thinking that it is good that the parents are taking a degree of responsibility for what is happening in their home....

[Lulu]

If that's what the no-sharing rule means I get it now, although I totally disagree with allowing alcohol at a 16th. It's a girl by the way, so it bothers me even more (am I sexist lol??).

I will ring the parents - only one of DD's other friends are going, so I might even talk to his mum too, it's more than likely I'll be doing the pick up/drop off anyway.

Hhmm, still thinking. I mean you have to give them a chance to earn trust....
She better stop being so snotty though, I feel like I have no idea who she is when she gets like that.

[DoubleK]

i agree with Briggst's girl...

from the teenagers perspective, when i was 15/16 i used to have a drink with my parents on the weekends (sometimes with my best friend over, we would have a great time with them!) and when all the 16th birthdays came around, they always bought me 4 cans to take (i never finished all four) i was happy, they were happy. i never got drunk and did stupid things, the main reason being.. i didnt want to make a fool of myself in front of mum and dad! i never wanted them to get a phone call saying 'Rach needs to be picked up.... blah blah'
i've always been really close with them(and still am), maybe thats why, i hope i have the same relationship with Krystal when she's older..

but then again, being the parent is different than being the teenager!!