1st MC - 3 Questions please help!

[milka]

I was so happy last week eagerly waiting my first Ob appointment and thinking how wonderful my June baby was going to be! I did not have any symptoms other than sore BB and thought I was one of the lucky ones...

I had slight bleeding Tuesday night (light pink in colour and not much) so I went to bed thinking it would go. It was still there Wednesday morning (again not much). I normally think things are wrong with me (you might call me a hypercontriact.) so I was going to ignore this, then I thought I may as well call the Ob. So I called, felt a little silly to be honest and the receptionist was lovely and she spoke with my Ob and they asked if I could come in for an appointment so they could so a scan and put my mind at ease. I was so happy to have a scan I told DH not to bother coming with me as I had to rush off to get to my appointment.

So I went to me appointment got asked all of the questions, she did an internal look and then an internal scan and I was eagerly looking on the monitor for my baby. I thought I saw it (must have been a shadow) when my Ob said something which I cannot recall... pretty much that there was nothing there anymore

So to cut a long sad story short (as it makes me upset to dwell) our little baby had gone and my blood test results showed I did not need a D&C as it had all gone (which apparently was a good thing).

Question 1 - I only bled very lightly for those 2 days then nothing... can I assume that is all? I read the booklet and some websites and they mentioned heavy bleeding and cramping? Is there more to come?

Question 2 - My Ob and the booklet recommend that I don't DTH for 2 weeks... is that because I could fall pregnant or because things down there need to get back to normal?

Question 3 - Do I need to wait for AF to come before TTC again?

Thanks - it has helped to read other people's threads and then to look at all of the good news when some of you get your after Let's hope our little are all happy together somewhere...

[hj1981]

Milka - sorry to hear of your loss - i too had a MC july this year - its not a nice thing to go through

I cant help with Question 1 - as i didnt MC naturally i had to have a DnC

Question 2 and 3 - i was pretty fine after my DnC so my DH and i pretty much started TTC a few days later - although it was recommended that we wait until AF arrived again - i have heard that after a miscarriage (more so a DnC i think) you are extremly fertile - i think they want you to wait for one cycle so your body is adjusted to what it has just gone through and so you are emotionally ready -

i hope that helps a bit - im sure there will be other ladies on here that can help you more!
Goodluck with everything - and i hope our little angel's are all happy together as well!

[milka]

Thanks for your response I'll talk with DH and then we can decide what to do!

Congratulations on your I have seen your name popping around some of the other threads. That's wonderful news and gives me hope! I'm not the best at maths... how long after your MC did it take for your

[satya]

I'm sorry for your loss. With all 3 of my m/c's I had no pain at all. With the two this year I only had very light bleeding for 2-3 days - lighter than a normal AF so that could be all you get. Normally you can TTC as soon as you want after a m/c as long as the bleeding has stopped.

[hj1981]

milka - 3mths later i am preg!!! same with my friend who M/C a mth and a bit before me - she fell preg 3mths later and is now 12wks!!!
so it will happen again for you - when you and DH are ready!

[bettyboop]

sorry to hear that you lost your little angle, sending you a big hug.

[nikdave]

Sorry for your loss I to have went through 2 mc from aug to nov of this year and it has been very hard but I will try again this month the women on this site have been a blessing they are very supportive and it just helps to know you are not alone. With my mc that ended in august I had lots of cramping and bleeding this time around I am barely going and have only had a few pains here and there so I guess everyone is different. I wish you the best and hope you get that little bundle of joy.

[chris]

Hi Milka
Sorry to hear your news.
It is not a good idea to BD as it could cause an infection.
Also it is best to wait till your AF to make sure you are healed and hormones are ok. It is best to be careful as problems could delay you TTC again.
Cheers
Chris

[baby hopes]

hi milka
sorry for your loss
i had bleeding for nearly two wks after m/c and d and c we didn't bding at all for the first few wks but i still got an infection anyway and in the end all up had to wait til after my first af so i think everyone is different good luck with everything

hugsxx

[suse]

Hi Milka,

I feel for you - it's a horrible thing that you are going through. Just remember that it doesn't mean that you'll have any problems conceiving or carrying a pregnancy - sometimes there's a few false starts.

DTD for the first time after a miscarriage can be a bit emotional - especially if both you and DH/P are a bit worried that it might hurt. Regardless of what your dr says, you might be more comfortable waiting until you feel emotionally and physically ready to get back on the horse, and waiting a cycle helps you feel like your body has regained normality.

After my last mc my partner and I waited a cycle before DTD - and we managed to conceive on the first go - (probably luck more than anything) - we weren't actually trying to conceive, but weren't trying to stop it either. We were prepared that it would take a couple of months before anything happened. Your body can do amazing things when your mind is least expecting it!

[mrsmac]

I have had 2 natural m/c and bled like a normal period for one and very heavily for the other. After the first one I had one cycle then fell pg the next with no problems.

[milka]

Thanks for your answers everyone, and it is good to see so much good news going around. I just got home and the silly hospital have sent me some booklets with special mother and baby classes or something which got me a little down again then I got the bill from my Ob (at least they waited a week to send the bill)

Oh well... I'm going to focus on the positives and think good thoughts.

good luck to everyone!

[blackduckies]

Hi Milka, sorry for your loss, it is a difficult time and as much as you might want to TTC again, it is a good idea to wait. The advice I have been given is 2 cycles. The reason being you are more likely to MC again if you don't give your body some time to recover. I lost a baby in Jan and was preg again in March, I lost that baby as well my FS said it was'nt long enough in between. But as you can see quite a few of these girls are preg again after short periods of time. After my second MC my hair started to fall out and lost all it's condition and my fingernails were really weak and it has taken until about 2 months ago to get back to normal. I think the FS is right with me, my body needed longer than I gave it.

But if you feel OK and you want to go ahead, it is the best thing to start to feel normal again.

[Bliss]

I too MC last week and not sure when to start again. Not sure I could deal with the emotion again.
I had a D&C the day after I found out, though 7 days later am still bleeding and have had some bad cramping and back ache. Similar to period pain, though feels much worse due to the emotion behind it. My OB has told me to wait until I have stopped bleeding to have *ex and has told me I can TTC after one cycle. I go in to see him in 2 weeks for some tests, and if all comes back OK, and then I get my period, I can start again. So that is good news.
To be honest, personally I think my body needs the break. After the MC and D&C last week I didnt really know who I was. One minute I was preggy with bad pregnancy symptioms, though always with worries as bled on and off through the 7.5 weeks. Then I wasnt pregnant and had no symptoms and wasnt going to be preggy fat over the summer and having a baby in July. A strange feeling. I took 2 days from work and also had the weekend and had a facial, massage and had my hair cut. I cant tell you how much better it made me feel. Today I started back at the gym with my trainer. Starting to feel much more like 'me'.

Not sure what all these acranyms mean as new to the site!
Good luck!

[milka]

Bliss - sorry for your recent loss, I guess it is not meant to be for some of us at the time we want it .

Thanks once again everyone for your advice and it helps just to read what everyone has to say and shows we're not alone!

[Bliss]

Thank you, though I know our time will come! (hopefully soon!)

How are you feeling a week and half later? I am feeling much better than I was last weekend. Time does heal in some ways, though I know the emotion will still remain for a while. I still have times where I feel close to tears. I am trying not to think about it too much and thinking of all the other great things I have to be happy about. Also, a friend of mine who is a similar age (29ish) has just been told she will be totally blind in 12mths time. She has an 8 mth old son. It just puts things into perspective for me, as I have no doubt that next time, our luck will be better!

You are defiantly not alone!

Good luck.

B

[milka]

Oh Bliss that is such sad news about your friend and yes when you hear things like that it makes our loss seem a little more... can I say bearable?

I am feeling a little better although last night had a little sob again. Sometimes strange things set me off and the main thing is that I don't feel pregnant anymore. When I was pregnant I had a quesy stomach and sore BB all the time... now nothing and I feel empty. I was watching TV with my DH holding my cat and then starting crying imagining myself to be a childless cat woman. He assured me that this will not be the case and I know it will happen for us. Other times I feel like maybe the time wasn't right or maybe my baby wasn't developing right and the M/C was a good thing? DH told me at least it shows that we will be ready for a baby when the time comes.

How about you? Did you tell anyone you were preg? I only told my sister and friend and no one else... so at least I don't have heaps of people making half hearted efforts to comfort me.

[Bliss]

Hi Milka

I smiled at your story but only because I know exactly how you feel. It is a very strange transition from being preggy and having to run to the work toilets to vomit and being in bed by 8pm to slowly returning to pregreggy state.
All my closest friends knew. It wasnt a concious decision, but becuase so many are preggy or have new babies, they knew we were trying and as soon as they saw me not drinking etc they would ask 'are you pregnant?'. I am such a terrible liar that I didnt even try to say no, or 'im on a detox' etc. It is funny as I worried about telling people before 12 weeks 'just in case' though in some ways it has really helped having people know. When I was pregnant and now with the MC I can go out and be myself and not have to pretend to be someone I am not. I received gorgeous texts, cards and some flowers from my friends, and really they have been great. They have showed support as friends, rather than try to tell me everything is OK, it was meant to be...etc which could get annoying. I dont think it has been a burden on them and I have made sure I havent put too much on them. I have shared the ups and downs with 2 of my closest girlfriends (I felt I was continuously tested, scanned etc for the 7 weeks) and had a few tears, but with the others they havent been too involved which I think is best.
Our parents also knew and they have been great. My mum picked me up from the hospital after the D&C etc and has been great, though I think she thinks it is time to move on. She had 5 MCs amongst 5 healthy children and doesnt see them as too big a deal...hmmm. Straight afterwards I had to make her realise that even though it was great we could have kids and we could try again, it was still emotional, and she soften alot and showed more empathy. It was hard not to tell family esp given I really wasnt well.
Yes, it has also made my gorgeous hubby and I realise that we are ready to start a family. I wasnt sure to start because of my career etc.
Have a great rest of your weekend.
B