Hi Kerrisgirl!!! Welcome to BB. I found myself among amazing women who gave me awesome support!! You will love it here!!

My name is Ruthie and I am another who has walked in your shoes. I was diagnosed with PCOS on 1999 I was not even married yet and children were the last thing in my mind.
then in 2003 I got married. ( and we both wanted kids right away) I went to the doc and the bomb was thrown to me. I would never conceive on my own. getting 2 periods a year and them lasting 3 months at a time.. it was obvious I didn't ovulate for years!!
I have undergone fertility treatments four times. Getting pregnant on all 4... my 1st attempt was a little boy he is 3 now and my miracle. I almost lost my life and his .. I gave birth at 34 weeks. He was 4 and a half pounds. My second and third pregnancy both ended in loss at 6 weeks. I was devastated. ( Still am) It's been 2 years since my last m/c and I remember in June I went to a water park.. there were 3 pregnant women in front of me and I hid my face behind my son and just sobbed. I wanted that so bad!!
I recently found out I am pregnant ( I also underwent fertility meds but boy did this baby had me bad!! He or she was playing games on me!! My cycles range from 44 dyas to 150+ days.. so this time.. I was testing since CD20..CD 20 passed by nothing.. CD40 passed by nothing.. negative tests ( let me add I'm a pee on a stick addict/ junkie)..CD50 and NOTHING!!!!!!
on CD62 in the PM I went to bed weeping. Really. not crying WEEPING!! My husband felt so bad he cried with me. I said this was never going to happen to me. Since I had a few pregnancy tests left I still had hope. I don't know why I did. in the AM.. my eyes being swollen from crying the whole night.. I peed on a test... as soon as the pee hit the line nothing came up.. I started crying again and through blurry eyes I threw the tests in the cabinet. I went to bed and hubby noticed I left the bathroom light on so I went back to turn it off.. something inside me said go check the stupid tests and ..let me say if you have never heard of someone laughing, crying and screaming at the same time..that was me!!

I am in the very beginning and I'm worried because this is the time when everything can either go right or terribly wrong. I'm going to be six weeks next week and I dread it!! I lost my 2 pregnancies on that week.
If I miscarry this baby I don;t think I can handle it emotionally and am pretty sure I will fall in the deepest depression. But hoping and praying my bub stays nice and healthy.. this is my miracle.
I pray you have your miracle soon. Along with all my friends here you are among amazing women! 1I love them to death!!!

hugs to you and

Ruthie