I am so sorry Mikki, I had a miscarriage last November and I think it only really hit me when the due date came around and I had no baby.. everyone reacts differently but we all need to heal and will do so in separate ways.. I agree with Rach, buy or do something to signify what you have had to go through and your loss, someone I know who recently had a miscarriage bought a charm for her Pandora bracelet to signify it, which I thought was a lovely idea if you have one of those. Take care of yourself and let yourself feel and work through all the emotions as they happen.. just remember you are not alone and many many ladies have had to go through the same thing. Take Care