thread: Returning to the real world

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Mar 2008
    mid north coast, nsw
    1,644

    Returning to the real world

    Hi everyone...I am preparing to return to work tomorrow after our latest miscarriage at the end of last week. It was our third loss in a 12 month period and we are devastated. I feel like most people in the real world really don't understand. I feel alone and really nervous about trying to move forward and to resume my normal routine and mix with people again. I guess I am just expressing how I feel here really. I know there are no real solutions right now, but to keep going. I havent really even talked to my friends yet.
    I am going to be having tests done to try and find some answers too.

    The tragic bushfires in victoria certainly help keep perspective, but day to day dealing with this loss, gried and anger is still hard.

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Sep 2007
    Brisbane
    5,729

    Emma sending you lots of . I think people who haven't experienced it, while they can empathise, may struggle to understand the depth and breadth of your feelings right now. I hope you can find the strength to get through this in the outside world, even if it is just one day at a time. Please know we are here to support you any way we can.

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Apr 2007
    in lactation land
    3,776

    Possums, firstly big hug and well done you on talking about your fears and emotions and how you may deal with the next steps.
    Please be gentle with yourself. Its ok to ease back into real life again in whatever way YOU feel comfortable with even if you don?t know what that is right now. You don?t have to tell specifics or anything to people if you don?t want to. Perhaps you can let a couple of people/colleagues know you are having a particularly difficult time over something and thereby have their support if you need to draw on it, and it can also reduce any expectations you have of yourself or what you think others have of you. I found by being kind to myself and not expecting anything of myself, I was able to feel better each day in a small way. I also found that if I did trust someone and open up to whatever degree I felt like at the time, that there was empathy, support and understanding there, albeit in different ways but it did feel better to share the burden.

    You may find that your friends will take their lead from you. As long as they know it is not about them they can be awesome support even if you don?t want to tell them the details right now.

    Take it one step at a time hun and at all times do what is right for you. Not for others. This is your time and you should take it how you want to.
    xx

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Dec 2006
    Out of my mind. Back in five minutes...
    3,304


    Good luck with you return to the real world. It will be hard, but know you have so many girls here, holding your hand and here to help you as best we can. And another thing, remember it is OK to have a few stumbles on the road to recovery. Just take it one step at a time. And you can get there. Thinking of you. xo

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Mar 2008
    mid north coast, nsw
    1,644

    Thank you lovely wise ladies

  6. #6

    Oct 2008
    2,880

    Possums, I am devastated to hear of your loss. Truly.

    Words cannot express so I won't say anymore.

    Just know that I am thinking of you hun

    Big hugs
    S X

  7. #7
    Registered User

    May 2008
    U.S.A
    186

    My heart breaks for you I too have loss three angels in the last 12 months going back to work after was hard for me too but please don't give up and stay positive you will have a baby soon I know you will I'm going to pray for your 2009 forever baby ...

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Mar 2008
    mid north coast, nsw
    1,644

    Thanks everyone. Back here at work now and just coping with it...what else can you do?

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Sep 2007
    Brisbane
    5,729

    I'm thinking of you today Emma .

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Feb 2009
    Melbourne
    14

    Wanted you to know I am thinking of you today Possums.
    I returned to work on Monday after my second miscarriage last week. It was really hard, I am just taking it one day at a time.
    Please take care xx

    DS- 16/07/2006
    28/09/2008 @ 7 weeks
    04/02/2009 @ 9 weeks 6 days
    Last edited by kath26; February 11th, 2009 at 08:21 AM. : spelling

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Mar 2008
    mid north coast, nsw
    1,644

    Thanks for sharing. I feel like I am carrying around my own private load of grief and anger etc, and am in this bubble...with all the rest of the world crashing on around me. It will get easier i know.

  12. #12
    Registered User

    Feb 2009
    6

    Possums,

    My dear, i am so sorry for your loss. I hated when I had to go back to work after my 1st m/c (first pregnancy too). I felt so alone. I know you are probably feeling that way too. Some times I had to stop myself from all those thoughts about what if's and what went wrong and why. Try not to worry yourself too much and just take a minute to yourself to just breath and be thankful that your are still here where you can be loved and be strong because you will have more opportunities to have beautiful babies.
    I still have to remind myself of that everyday. Just Breathe...

    Leslie