I'm not sure if I should be posting here, in the TTC vent or in the boohoo thread.
I guess I chose to post here because I have summed up my emotions as being related to my loss. It is now the time of when I would have been due with my very much wanted lost pregnancy in May.
My bestfriend called me to tell me she was pregnant a couple of weeks ago and I guess the timing was bad. She called me on my mobile while I was in the middle of the shopping centre to tell me. I stayed strong to hide my pain and being in a public place didn't help. What hurt more than the fact that she was pregnant, was that she lied to me a few days earlier when I asked her if she was pregnant. The tears that she shed while telling me just felt like pity. I understand that people who have no difficulty in falling pregant or have had no loss truely cannot understand. But I really thought that someone I have confided in throughout my TTC journey would have more tact. Some of the comments she made included 'I don't know if I'm ready for this' 'I think I want my tubes tied after this pregnancy.' Seeing her since the call has been hard and I feel bad that I can't be overly excited for her. We were pregnant together the first time round and I gave her all the information she needed to know and was so excited I had a friend pregnant with me. This time things are different. I have been trying for 18mnths+ with one loss and my emotions are very fragile. (she wasn't trying at all)
And now all I can think about is; my baby that never got to be, my un-sympathetic friend, my body that is letting me down, & am struggling to stay positive about all the wonderful things in my life.

I would love some opinions. Are my reactions normal? Does this feel worse because it is the EDD for my loss? Does anyone have any advice on moving past this rough patch?

I am also having trouble talking about this with family & friends. I feel like I am constantly being strong and hiding my emotions. I don't want anyone to see my pain or have pity on me.

Thanks for reading. I think I needed a bit of a vent. Mods please move if i have posted in the wrong spot.