Hello all,
thanks again for all the kind thoughts. I have managed to get a referral for the 29th, so heres to a sticky, bub filled 2009 for all of us.
erybery- hang in there. DH and I have just got back from dinner with our best friends, and they told us they were pregnant. Talk about conflicting feelings! Its so wonderful, they have been trying to get pg for 2 years so its fantastic. But I have not even finished bleeding from my mc last week. It would have been wonderful to be pregnant together. Trying so hard not to be jealous. Don't think I am really, but very sad.
Maternal Bride- welcome, and I'm sorry that you have joined us. The ladies here are wonderful and I hope you get as much support here as I have found.
fificlare- keep up that growing. great stuff!
Toccara- glad you are starting to feel 'normal' again (well physically better anyway). My body is certainly starting to heal but my head- well thats another story
Tam- you hang in there. Sending you lots of and try to keep your chin up till Thursday. I'm sure waiting is the hardest part.
Issy, megsmum, and smi- lots of , keep growing those bubs!
Jen- thank you for all your kind thoughts. Hope you are having a good week and you are feeling better.
Z's mum- thoughts are with you, hope you are going ok.
WTH- sounds like the weekend was fun All good!
Polly- Hope you are feeling ok. I think frustration and over analyzing is all part of the TTC road. Take a breath and keep going. Sure we are all going to get there.
Mannie- good luck with your FS on the 23rd. I think its good to be doing something about this, don't you? Proactive is good!
HannahD, Mel79 and all others, lots of and hoping for for all of us.
AFM...still waiting to "feel" pregnant...lack of symptoms kinda worries me...I'll be so glad when January 14th gets here! Someone said it best when they said...Christmas is coming fast but the pregnancy weeks seem to drag...
mumstheword--Oops, I always forget that the VIP membership is different that the free one! Sorry about that. I tried the free one for a couple months when I was just trying to follow my signs on my own... then I started temping and found it much easier to have FF do the work for me! *hugs* for you!
Mel--You don't always have to put on a brave face... I've found that the more you try to pretend like everything is ok when it's really not, the longer the healing process takes. Allow yourself to feel all these emotions you're feeling--and don't feel like you're a bad person for feeling them! The jealousy and bitterness will soon fade... and remember, none of us are the same person we were before we m/c... it changes you...you can't expect to feel and be the same person you were after the trauma you've been thru. Embrace what you're thinking and feeling... and keep looking out for the new woman you will become.
Indy--You're in my thoughts and *hugs!*
Maternal bride--I'm sorry that you've come to join our little thread, but hope that you find yourself enveloped with support, comfort, and love from the many of us that are here. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your son!
plc--10 days left!!! OMG, I have the butterflies for you!! So exciting!!
Z's mom--You don't always have to cope well! Feel free to vent, scream, yell, cry.... sometimes you have to take those steps back in order to see where the next step forward will take you.
Oops, have to make DS's lunch and get him off to school. Will be back in a while for the rest of the persies!
Hello ladies! I am really hoping to see lots and lots of BFPs in this new thread!
Toccara- It's good to hear that your headaches have finally gone away. I'm praying that 09 will be your year.
Issy- So happy that you are enjoying your pregnancy! I'm sure that all of the worrying and stress can make it difficult at times, but I hope you can stay relaxed up until your 12 week mark.
Erybery- I am so sorry for what you are going through. A couple days ago, I also had a friend ask me how my pregnancy was going. I miscarried in October too, and I couldn't stop crying as I told her what happened. And I can also relate to the conflicting feelings about other pregnancies. Two people at my work have told me they were pregnant in the last couple weeks. And neither of them even wanted to be pregnant. It just seems so unfair. It will be our turn soon though!
Fifi and Smi- It makes me smile when I see your tickers moving along! Praying for you ladies and your precious little ones!
Maternalbride- Congrats on the new job! It's nice to have something to occupy your time. I'm so sorry for your loss. Hoping for good news for you in the coming year.
Indy- Best of luck with your appointment on the 29th. I hope they can give you some insight and allow you to take any necessary steps so you will have a nice healthy bub very, very soon.
To everyone else- hope all is well! Thinking of you all.
AFM- I have about a week to go before I can do an HPT. Even that might be too early to find out, but the wait is just too much!! I just wish I could speed up time every now and then. It seems to go slower and slower every day!
Hannah, I have the same feelings as you, time is just getting slower and slower. I am supposed to have AF today, it's been exactly 4 weeks after I miscarried, I am getting all these feelings of having a period, but it just doesn't turn up. I wish to try as soon as possible after this cycle. The worst thing is that I am going to Brampton Island for holiday on Xmas day, if comes just before the trip, I won't be able to swim in my dream place then. What a shame!
Finally! Was having problems logging in again.... grrr! That's so frustrating!
smi--Hope those pg symptoms start blooming soon!! Just about ready for Christmas--been busy wrapping presents to put under the tree... but still have to get most of the stocking stuffers. How about you, are you all ready for Christmas? I'll bet you can't think of anything other than that BFP you got!! Woo hoo!!
WTH--Aww, shucks! Now you've gone and made me blush! What a sweet thing to say--thank you so much! It's a HUGE compliment! Hope you're having fun with all that Score one for you for bonus weight loss!!
Thanks for the new thread, MistyFying!! Love your holiday avi!
Toccara--Glad to hear you're taking time to relax and aren't stressing, I know it's not an easy thing to do! You're such a trooper--way to hang in there! Sorry to hear you've been having headaches--hope today is a sign of future headache-less days to come! I think of you all the time! How's things going with your Christmas prep... are you almost ready?
issy--So happy to hear you're managing to remain happy and as stress-free as possible! With busy weeks ahead and lots to do, it's sure to help distract you somewhat--especially if you're entertaining DS during summer break! How long does summer break last there? My boys get out of school for Christmas vacation this Friday, and they go back Jan. 5. Here's some for you!!
erybery--Life does seem so unfair sometimes! *hugs* We also just found out that 2 couples that we know are pg... neither one of them are happy about it! It's so d@mn frustrating that it can happen so easily for some... especially when not only are they not trying, but they don't even want to be pg!! To hear them complain is beyond any words that I can even come up with! Sending you lots of AF vibes so you can begin your TTC journey!
Hey fifi girl! *kiss* Glad to hear things are going well with you and your little bub! Yay for
and for HannahD,Indy, babymiracles, & HannahS! Thinking of you all!
Tam--Aww... Thanks for such a sweet compliment! Wishing you the best of luck with your u/s on Thursday! Can't wait to hear the great news!
tempus--I had never even heard of the Santa shop before! It wasn't a huge fundraiser, but the kids were so happy about being able to go in and pick out their own gifts for their family members! You should've seen the excitement on their faces! That alone made it worthwhile--I'm sure we'll be doing it again next year! Hope you're hanging in there, hon... been for you! *hugs*
TY--The waiting game sucks... sending lots of AF vibes your way! Hope she shows up before your Christmas trip! *hugs*
T.Y- I hope AF shows up soon so you can start trying again ASAP! I was in the same boat last month. Mine came about 4.5 weeks after my m/c but I was feeling symptoms for a few days beforehand. I'll cross my fingers for you that it comes well before your trip. Doesn't it always manage to show up at the worst times?? Praying that you have a safe and fun trip no matter what =)
Jen- Don't you hate it when people complain about their pregnancies? And how they just "really didn't want a baby right now"? That's what I keep hearing from a couple of friends at work. It's hard to understand why these things happen. There are those of us who want children so badly, and they get taken away. And those who don't seem to want them have the easiest pregnancies. I just have to keep reminding myself that everything happens for a reason. It's not always easy to see it that way, but I really do believe it.
Hi ladies
I have been off line for the last 2 days as I was in hospital. I went to see my GP as I have had a headache (now for 9 days) anyway - she did blood tests and sent me to the hospital as they think I may have temporal artritis (an infection in the artery that goes to the eye). I will have more tests and if my levels go over 50 (they are currently at 25 and sho0uld be below 12) they will have to put me on a steroid treatment. I really don't want this to happen as it will affect me with TTC.
Jen805 and Indy - call me Theresa as I know my username can be too long. Thank you for your kind words and support. I will be back on later once I get home from work.
I've hit bottom today. I was supposed to meet with my pg cousin (her EDD is 4 days before mine). We'd planned this weeks ago and she was the one who approached me. Then today, she leaves a card with the department secretary(she was to meet me at work) with "Because I'm a chicken who doesn't have the right words" written on the envelope. I didn't even read the card before bursting into tears.
I left the office to get some fresh air and she sent me a text message apologising and saying that she didn't want to upset me (to which I replied "too late"). Her reason was that she wanted to "spare me" and that if we had met I would feel worse than I do now. I sent her messages back (I would have called except my battery was running low) telling her not to assume she knew how I felt. That with Christmas approaching I already feel robbed and now I feel robbed of an opportunity to heal. I refuse to apologise to anyone for feeling angry. In the messages she's sent back, I can tell that I've ****ed her off now. At least I got her angry enough to be honest with me and admit that her not showing up today was self-preservation and not her way of sparing me.
I know she's had a hard time dealing with her daughter's genetic disease (which would have been fatal if she hadn't had a bone marrow transplant). And I can't imagine what she is going through now with her current pregnancy, not knowing if her baby will be born alive let alone healthy. But she's denied us both and opportunity to support one another and now we're angry at one another. I guess she has at least been true to herself by creating drama when there was no need, as only she can.
I'm just so tired of feeling sad and angry and tired. And now I'm supposed to apologise for it? I've had low moments in the past 5 months, but I haven't felt this low since the day after my D&C. How am I supposed to heal, when my own cousin throws it in my face?
On top of it all, today is CD14 and its been 4 days since DH had an opportunity to BD (MIL has been staying with us the last few days). And its the last thing I want to do now. I keep thinking its another month gone, another egg wasted. Not that I feel capable of parenting at the moment.
I'm sorry for the long, miserable post. I don't know who else I can confide in. My cousin now wants nothing to do with me and DH doesn't finish work for another 6 hours. Thank you so much, all of you, for being here when I need you.
HannahD - I am so sorry for your hurt and frustration. I have found that quite a few of my so called "friends" have deserted me in my time of need. Just shows you who your true friends are in a crisis. I hope you feel comforted with us here. I wish I could give you a big hug I am thinking of you xxxx
and try to keep your chin up till Thursday. I'm sure waiting is the hardest part.
All good!
and hoping for
for all of us.
for the new thread!! Big 
*hugs!*
OMG, I have the butterflies for you!! So exciting!!
Now you've gone and made me blush! What a sweet thing to say--thank you so much! It's a HUGE compliment! Hope you're having fun with all that 
Score one for you for bonus weight loss!! 
To hear them complain is beyond any words that I can even come up with! 
Sending you lots of AF vibes so you can begin your TTC journey!
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