AFM...still waiting to "feel" pregnant...lack of symptoms kinda worries me...I'll be so glad when January 14th gets here! Someone said it best when they said...Christmas is coming fast but the pregnancy weeks seem to drag...
mumstheword--Oops, I always forget that the VIP membership is different that the free one! Sorry about that. I tried the free one for a couple months when I was just trying to follow my signs on my own... then I started temping and found it much easier to have FF do the work for me! *hugs* for you!
Mel--You don't always have to put on a brave face... I've found that the more you try to pretend like everything is ok when it's really not, the longer the healing process takes. Allow yourself to feel all these emotions you're feeling--and don't feel like you're a bad person for feeling them! The jealousy and bitterness will soon fade... and remember, none of us are the same person we were before we m/c... it changes you...you can't expect to feel and be the same person you were after the trauma you've been thru. Embrace what you're thinking and feeling... and keep looking out for the new woman you will become.
Indy--You're in my thoughts and *hugs!*
Maternal bride--I'm sorry that you've come to join our little thread, but hope that you find yourself enveloped with support, comfort, and love from the many of us that are here. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your son!
plc--10 days left!!! OMG, I have the butterflies for you!! So exciting!!
Z's mom--You don't always have to cope well! Feel free to vent, scream, yell, cry.... sometimes you have to take those steps back in order to see where the next step forward will take you.
Oops, have to make DS's lunch and get him off to school. Will be back in a while for the rest of the persies!
Hello ladies! I am really hoping to see lots and lots of BFPs in this new thread!
Toccara- It's good to hear that your headaches have finally gone away. I'm praying that 09 will be your year.
Issy- So happy that you are enjoying your pregnancy! I'm sure that all of the worrying and stress can make it difficult at times, but I hope you can stay relaxed up until your 12 week mark.
Erybery- I am so sorry for what you are going through. A couple days ago, I also had a friend ask me how my pregnancy was going. I miscarried in October too, and I couldn't stop crying as I told her what happened. And I can also relate to the conflicting feelings about other pregnancies. Two people at my work have told me they were pregnant in the last couple weeks. And neither of them even wanted to be pregnant. It just seems so unfair. It will be our turn soon though!
Fifi and Smi- It makes me smile when I see your tickers moving along! Praying for you ladies and your precious little ones!
Maternalbride- Congrats on the new job! It's nice to have something to occupy your time. I'm so sorry for your loss. Hoping for good news for you in the coming year.
Indy- Best of luck with your appointment on the 29th. I hope they can give you some insight and allow you to take any necessary steps so you will have a nice healthy bub very, very soon.
To everyone else- hope all is well! Thinking of you all.
AFM- I have about a week to go before I can do an HPT. Even that might be too early to find out, but the wait is just too much!! I just wish I could speed up time every now and then. It seems to go slower and slower every day!
Hannah, I have the same feelings as you, time is just getting slower and slower. I am supposed to have AF today, it's been exactly 4 weeks after I miscarried, I am getting all these feelings of having a period, but it just doesn't turn up. I wish to try as soon as possible after this cycle. The worst thing is that I am going to Brampton Island for holiday on Xmas day, if comes just before the trip, I won't be able to swim in my dream place then. What a shame!
Finally! Was having problems logging in again.... grrr! That's so frustrating!
smi--Hope those pg symptoms start blooming soon!! Just about ready for Christmas--been busy wrapping presents to put under the tree... but still have to get most of the stocking stuffers. How about you, are you all ready for Christmas? I'll bet you can't think of anything other than that BFP you got!! Woo hoo!!
WTH--Aww, shucks! Now you've gone and made me blush! What a sweet thing to say--thank you so much! It's a HUGE compliment! Hope you're having fun with all that Score one for you for bonus weight loss!!
Thanks for the new thread, MistyFying!! Love your holiday avi!
Toccara--Glad to hear you're taking time to relax and aren't stressing, I know it's not an easy thing to do! You're such a trooper--way to hang in there! Sorry to hear you've been having headaches--hope today is a sign of future headache-less days to come! I think of you all the time! How's things going with your Christmas prep... are you almost ready?
issy--So happy to hear you're managing to remain happy and as stress-free as possible! With busy weeks ahead and lots to do, it's sure to help distract you somewhat--especially if you're entertaining DS during summer break! How long does summer break last there? My boys get out of school for Christmas vacation this Friday, and they go back Jan. 5. Here's some for you!!
erybery--Life does seem so unfair sometimes! *hugs* We also just found out that 2 couples that we know are pg... neither one of them are happy about it! It's so d@mn frustrating that it can happen so easily for some... especially when not only are they not trying, but they don't even want to be pg!! To hear them complain is beyond any words that I can even come up with! Sending you lots of AF vibes so you can begin your TTC journey!
Hey fifi girl! *kiss* Glad to hear things are going well with you and your little bub! Yay for
and for HannahD,Indy, babymiracles, & HannahS! Thinking of you all!
Tam--Aww... Thanks for such a sweet compliment! Wishing you the best of luck with your u/s on Thursday! Can't wait to hear the great news!
tempus--I had never even heard of the Santa shop before! It wasn't a huge fundraiser, but the kids were so happy about being able to go in and pick out their own gifts for their family members! You should've seen the excitement on their faces! That alone made it worthwhile--I'm sure we'll be doing it again next year! Hope you're hanging in there, hon... been for you! *hugs*
TY--The waiting game sucks... sending lots of AF vibes your way! Hope she shows up before your Christmas trip! *hugs*
T.Y- I hope AF shows up soon so you can start trying again ASAP! I was in the same boat last month. Mine came about 4.5 weeks after my m/c but I was feeling symptoms for a few days beforehand. I'll cross my fingers for you that it comes well before your trip. Doesn't it always manage to show up at the worst times?? Praying that you have a safe and fun trip no matter what =)
Jen- Don't you hate it when people complain about their pregnancies? And how they just "really didn't want a baby right now"? That's what I keep hearing from a couple of friends at work. It's hard to understand why these things happen. There are those of us who want children so badly, and they get taken away. And those who don't seem to want them have the easiest pregnancies. I just have to keep reminding myself that everything happens for a reason. It's not always easy to see it that way, but I really do believe it.
Smi - I know you can't wait for symptoms - sending you loads of your way!
Jen - yes I am very impressed with our marathon efforts. Surely have worked off a kilo or two. Aim is to put about 12 kilos back on over the next nine months!
Indy - I know what you mean about hearing that type of news. Seems to be happening to me weekly. Can't count the number of times I have hugged a friend or acquaintance lately and said, "that's great - I am so happy for you". I do truly mean it. But at the same time I feel ashamed for the envy I feel.
erybery - Sorry about your shopping trip. That does sound tough. I would cry, too. I think it is a little unusual not to have your AF by now and would encourage you to maybe get your hormone levels checked?? They can usually tell you when to expect AF after that.
Indy - that is great you managed to get in for the 29th - you will have a gameplan for 2009
Tam - I did not have any symptoms with my DD until I was at least 8 weeks along, so not much different to you. GL with the scan
MaternalBride - sounds like a great time to start a new job and have a good diversion. I hope you enjoy the change of scene and the new and interesting challenges it will bring.
Issy - You are doing so well, lovely
Tocarra -
AFM - Normally OPK's and I have great communication when I TTC but this month the OPK's are being a little uncooperative! I am also temping and my temps are a little lower this month so far (may be from the maca root). I was warned the first cycle after and IVF cycle can run a little late so have no idea when I will O (normally CD 15, today CD 16). Be great to O because DH and I need some sleep...
Hi ladies
I have been off line for the last 2 days as I was in hospital. I went to see my GP as I have had a headache (now for 9 days) anyway - she did blood tests and sent me to the hospital as they think I may have temporal artritis (an infection in the artery that goes to the eye). I will have more tests and if my levels go over 50 (they are currently at 25 and sho0uld be below 12) they will have to put me on a steroid treatment. I really don't want this to happen as it will affect me with TTC.
Jen805 and Indy - call me Theresa as I know my username can be too long. Thank you for your kind words and support. I will be back on later once I get home from work.
I've hit bottom today. I was supposed to meet with my pg cousin (her EDD is 4 days before mine). We'd planned this weeks ago and she was the one who approached me. Then today, she leaves a card with the department secretary(she was to meet me at work) with "Because I'm a chicken who doesn't have the right words" written on the envelope. I didn't even read the card before bursting into tears.
I left the office to get some fresh air and she sent me a text message apologising and saying that she didn't want to upset me (to which I replied "too late"). Her reason was that she wanted to "spare me" and that if we had met I would feel worse than I do now. I sent her messages back (I would have called except my battery was running low) telling her not to assume she knew how I felt. That with Christmas approaching I already feel robbed and now I feel robbed of an opportunity to heal. I refuse to apologise to anyone for feeling angry. In the messages she's sent back, I can tell that I've ****ed her off now. At least I got her angry enough to be honest with me and admit that her not showing up today was self-preservation and not her way of sparing me.
I know she's had a hard time dealing with her daughter's genetic disease (which would have been fatal if she hadn't had a bone marrow transplant). And I can't imagine what she is going through now with her current pregnancy, not knowing if her baby will be born alive let alone healthy. But she's denied us both and opportunity to support one another and now we're angry at one another. I guess she has at least been true to herself by creating drama when there was no need, as only she can.
I'm just so tired of feeling sad and angry and tired. And now I'm supposed to apologise for it? I've had low moments in the past 5 months, but I haven't felt this low since the day after my D&C. How am I supposed to heal, when my own cousin throws it in my face?
On top of it all, today is CD14 and its been 4 days since DH had an opportunity to BD (MIL has been staying with us the last few days). And its the last thing I want to do now. I keep thinking its another month gone, another egg wasted. Not that I feel capable of parenting at the moment.
I'm sorry for the long, miserable post. I don't know who else I can confide in. My cousin now wants nothing to do with me and DH doesn't finish work for another 6 hours. Thank you so much, all of you, for being here when I need you.
HannahD - I am so sorry for your hurt and frustration. I have found that quite a few of my so called "friends" have deserted me in my time of need. Just shows you who your true friends are in a crisis. I hope you feel comforted with us here. I wish I could give you a big hug I am thinking of you xxxx
Hi all!
So sorry I haven't posted in ages, I promise I have been checking in on you everyday and sending out lots of baby dust and stickyvibes!! I know it may sound silly, but with so much of the disappointment that's been around (and definately going to leave in the new year!!) I haven't wanted to upset anyone with any pg news. I know, silly, but that's how my brain works sometimes.
But I just wanted to let you all know that I had an antenatal appt today and it went perfectly! I'm measuring perfectly to date, no gd, blood pressure is fine, Charlie is the perfect size and her hb is wonderful. It was very odd leaving the hospital with absolutely nothing wrong. DH was grinning like a fool and looked at me and said "so THIS is what it feels like". Hehe. We're very very happy.
I'm sending out so many hugs to all of you lovely ladies and keeping my fingers crossed that those BFP's start rolling in! I know the festive season can be really hard, but each day is a new day and positivity is the key. Easier said than done, I know, but that's why here is so wonderful, if you're finding it hard to find the positivity you need there's always someone here to help out.
Much much love and sorry for the lack of persies but my brain is scattered like crazy!
Hannah D,
It must be the week for people upsetting us as I had another 2 people question me today about that they had heard Im pregnant and another came out and said "so no kids yet?". After much crying last night and today I think I am out of tears.
Just wanted to tell you "I get it!!!" I really want to give you a hug.
HannahD - Awww, So sorry your cousin is being so insensitive. She could've at least cancelled with some notice and made another excuse to try and spare your feelings. And now she is annoyed with you? It sounds like she has been through alot but so have you and it is not an excuse for her to treat you so badly. Wish I could be there to give you a big hug but it will have to be a cyber hug for now. We are all entitled to our sad days, it doesn't mean you are not capable of parenting, you will make a wonderful mother! And don't apologise for the sad post, I'm glad you can confide in all of us, that's what we are here for.
Tutmae - Congrats on the good news. So glad it is working out well for you this time around.
Theresa - Oh, that sounds awful. I really hope you feel better soon and you avoid having to go on the steriods.
erybery - it is so unfair and frustrating! It seems that it is so easy for couples to fall pg when they aren't tryng or aren't ready but for all those who want it so desperately we have a such a long hard journey.
Jen - Thanks, you always know the right thing to say. I actually feel like I am coming out the other side now but it has taken over 12 months to get here.
smi - I'm sure your pg symptoms will start in no time!
Indy - Hope you are starting to feel a little better.
MaternalBride - Glad you have a new job to keep you occupied.
plc - Not long now, how exciting!
Mannie - How are you feeling?
Hi to toccara, fificlaire, WTH, tam, issy, hannahas, AJC, mum's the word and anyone I have missed.
AFM - I just remembered I have been so busy that I forgot to call the FS for my BT results for Lupus. Guess that is a good thing! I feel like I have turned a corner this week and got to a really good place. It has taken a long time and has been a bumpy road but I have decided I am going to try and focus on the future and not what could've or should've been. I want to try and enjoy my life with DH and hopefully that will help me relax and things might just happen!
It's not to say I am not going to have my sad days , I know I will. I also know I have needed the last 12 months to grieve and heal and that a part of me will always be grieving for our lost angel. I still want a baby more than anything!
A girl I work with (she was due to same day as me but she m/c at 11 weeks) had a little girl today. The baby is healthy but she had to have an emergency hysterectomy. It is so bitter sweet. I am so happy their baby is healthy but I also feel so sad for them as I know they wanted more than one child and that has been taken away from them.
This whole baby experience is so scary. I know it is worth it but sometimes it is so unfair that such wonderful people have such a hard road.
Registered User
and
*hugs!*
OMG, I have the butterflies for you!! So exciting!!
Now you've gone and made me blush! What a sweet thing to say--thank you so much! It's a HUGE compliment! Hope you're having fun with all that
Score one for you for bonus weight loss!!
You're such a trooper--way to hang in there! Sorry to hear you've been having headaches--hope today is a sign of future headache-less days to come! I think of you all the time! How's things going with your Christmas prep... are you almost ready?
for you!!
To hear them complain is beyond any words that I can even come up with!
Sending you lots of AF vibes so you can begin your TTC journey!
and
your way!
I actually feel like I am coming out the other side now but it has taken over 12 months to get here.
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