Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage/Loss #2- June 2009

**Anila** · July 6th, 2009, 05:35 PM

I cant talk to my friends or family about my m/c.

I know what u mean, i cant talk about it with my sister, she just tells me to get over it!
She has never had one, i have now had two, and yes emotionally i need to move on, but no i dont wanna get over it!!

like u i am glad i have this forum, my firsy mc was shoved under the carpet and walked all over like it didnt exsist, so i never delt with it, this time, it has been so much easier to deal with it, its still sad, and i will always miss what i could never have.

how are u going atm?

hey there zstar, i didnt see u post, lol, yeah i will sms her just to let her know i am here. She just text me to say that the obgyn, estimated 4 days ago, as she had a scan 5/6 days agao and had a heart beat, but bubba was measuring small, she said he thinks it was growth retardation, she is in her 40s, so i know she will worry if age had anything to do with it.

**eliselouise** · July 7th, 2009, 09:39 AM

Good morning all
It has been very quiet in here the last few days, i hope everyone is doing ok

Anilla & Maddison i was reading through your posts last night when i got home from work late and it was so moving. I was tearing up reading them but maddison is right your friend will need you to talk to and also having gone through the same thing hopefully that makes it a bit easier to talk about.
I too know what you mean about not being able to talk about the m/c it makes it very hard and i think if someone hasnt been through it they dont actually realise how hard it is.
Zstar i think it is lovely that you call your brother every year on his sons bday and chat about it, i think it would really help him alot. Thats so funny about touching your b's to see if sore i used to do that straight after the m/c to make me think it wasnt true, but yeah your right you touch them that much it just makes them sore

Sunbeam hope your little O dance worked on saturday night and you get a BFP this month, goodluck

Hello to everyone else ive missed, hope everyones week is going ok so far.
I better get going, off to the docs to find out what the heck is going on with my body, so frustrating at the moment

Talk soon

**Sunbeam** · July 7th, 2009, 11:38 AM

Hello lovely BB ladies,

Well

my dance worked I finally o'ed last night ( I know exactly when it happened because I felt every painful moment of it and could not sleep till midnight). Now I just have to hope that my egg was still good by cd25. I got pg with a cd25 o last time but I'm worried that may be why I m/c and the baby was placed so badly in my uterus. Having said that my friend had both her girls with cd25+ o's and they are fine so

So I am officially in the TWW

, who else is with me? I know Zstar is, too funny about touching your bbs to see if they are sore

I will be doing the same thing because that was my biggest sign with both my pgs.

Anila and Maddison- I know it is so hard to know what to say to anyone's loss but we of all people know what we need at that time. Just the loving support to know there is a shoulder to cry on when its needed and someone to acknowledge the loss and not ignore it. Anila I hope your friend can join us so we can help support her through this.

Have a lovely day girls.

**eliselouise** · July 7th, 2009, 11:49 AM

YAY Sunbeam thats exciting good to see the dance worked

Hopefully your little egg is a strong one and you get your BFP this month. I have everything crossed for you and cant wait to hear your result

Just got home from docs and she has said that it sounds like everything is starting to settle down and hopefully i will get normal AF very soon

Off to work now, bye all

**hubba_bubba07** · July 7th, 2009, 12:20 PM

Good Morning Girls,

I have been avidly reading your posts and have only just now got the chance to come and post myself.You girls are trully a tower of strength for each other and its so moving to know there can still be such brilliant and caring ppl out there.

I lost our little jellybean last monday.Ironically,i was watching Juno and started to cramp..i just knew there was something wrong..Sure enough,it just wasnt meant to be....We have 2 children and didnt think there would be any problems at all and eagerly told all that would listen that we were expecting.The pregnancy took us as a major suprise as we were trying at all but it was a welcome suprise and now its ended i feel so lost and guilty wondering what did i do wrong??? to make matters worse a gf of mine rang me thursday night not knowing i had M/C and blurted out in excitement that she was pregnant too and due a week after me!!!! it shattered me and whilst normally i would be over the moon for her, i was secretly jealous and so so hurt..is this normal? im not usually a jealous person....
We had actually decided before this pregnancy that perhaps we wont have any more but now both DH and i are yearning to have another.I think we need it to fill the gap im feeling.is that normal or is it just me still being emotional??? its just so confusing.i find myself not even being able to watch babies or pregnant woman on tv now!!!!!!
I also have the guilts because even though its only been just over a week,i have been randy as all hell and once i stopped bleeding,was begging DH to bd with me...A gf said that its not normal at all...

im looking forward to sharing our journeys together.even though we really dont want to be going through this at all..U girls are trully gems...

**Sunbeam** · July 7th, 2009, 12:22 PM

Elise that is great news that your doc says things are getting back on track. Hope your cycle returns to normal soon.

Anyone know how to enable HTML code as I made a lovely ticker on lilypie but can't upload it as HTML is off?

**Sunbeam** · July 7th, 2009, 03:02 PM

Hi Hubba_Bubba I'm so sorry I missed your message before. I'm so sorry for your loss but you are right this is an amazingly supportive and caring group to be apart of. You have every right to feel all of the emotions you are going through, it is definitely a huge shock and huge feeling of loss, your hormones will also be all up in the air so do not feel guilty for being over emotional or wanting to bd. We have also all wondered if we did something to cause our m/c but it is hugely unlikely that it was in anyway your fault, sometimes it is just not right and mostly we will never know why. I understand the hurt at finding out your friend is expecting too as a friend of mine conceived the same week as me and we were so looking forward to being pregnant together. I hope you find the comfort you need her with us and that your journey to a BFP is short.

**catgirl** · July 7th, 2009, 06:43 PM

Hey ladies,

I'm new to this forum - sucks to be here after having a m/c at 12 weeks on the 23rd of June. Now I'm wating for AF before trying again - I'm finding the waiting really really tough and I'm struggling cos my SIL is 10 weeks pregnant and I'm jealous as anything.

Arrgghhh - so frustrating!!

**ferrals5** · July 8th, 2009, 04:28 PM

Afternoon ladies

Welcome to our new ladie's i am sorry for the reason you are here but i look forward to getting to know you and i hope you journey to your BFP is short and sweet.

Sunbeam-i have a good feeling about you this month you and your donnor daddy have really put a 100% into catching that egg let's hope this is it.

eliselouise-good to hear the doc think's all is ok i hope your AF returns to normal soon.

Catgirl-my SIL is also pregnant and is due 8 week's after my abbi was and i still cant bring myself to see or talk to her it is to painful for me.

TinaR-sorry to hear you had a bad day we all have them and we will most likely have a few more to come but i hope we can help you get through them.

SammyP-it is true that fertility declines dramaticly as you get older and over 37 it take's a big nose dive i am worried about my age i'm 35 but my professor said that the vast marjority of first time mums are now in there mid to late 30's and he said i still have a good few year's yet i guess for you the fact you got pregnant at 40+ is a good sign your fertility is still good all you can do is stay healthy and dont stress and it will happen i have a friend at work pregnant with her 5th at 41 seven mths after her last baby .

Givenuphope-sorry about your loss i was wondering have you had any of the babie's tested after you lost them it can give you a reason if it is genetic or chromosonal or at least rule it out.

AFM-I'm just trying to get through each day trying not to think about my fertile day's and the what if's i hope oct just get's here quick.
Last night at work i was thinking it would be 4 week's and my abbi would be here and i wrote a poem to put in the timber photo frame we made to put abbi's tiny pink cardigan,beanie and bootie's and ultrasound's in i hope you like it.
ABBI
Not a day goe's by that i don't think of you
What you would have looked like
What colour was your hair
Did you have my blue eye's
Was your skin real fair
I felt you move inside me
Like an angel dancing around
I couldn't wait to meet you
And hold you safe and sound
But heaven had other plan's
You were to good for this place
I'd never get to dress my girl
in all the frill's and lace
My heart and soul are broken
And beyond repair
From the minute you left this world
Life became so unfair
What i would give to have you back
And hold you in my arm's
To be your loving mum again
and protect you from all the harm
My only comfort that i have
Is knowing that someday
We will be together again
and my pain will fade away

**Sunny Love** · July 8th, 2009, 04:47 PM

great poem Ferrals4, im hoping you and dh have plenty of strength for the next 4 weeks,im sure its a very tough time for you hun.
welcome to all te new ladies!

AFM: Im completely bunged up with the flu! Hence why I havent been around posting! Getting a fair bit of BD in,hoping its my month (and everyone else's!!) like DH said!

Take care, be back when I feel better!

**catgirl** · July 8th, 2009, 07:27 PM

Wow - thanks for an amazing welcome! There's something about talking to people who hae been through the same thing that is so comforting

Good luck to you girls in the TWW - I wish I was there with you, but I had screwy cycles before I got preggers, so who knows when/if I'll ov!! OPKs are still very negative!

Lovely poem Ferrals4 - big hugs to you... hope you're doing ok

I'm going to see my doc tomorrow for my first checkup after my D&C... got lots of questions for him!!

**TinaR** · July 8th, 2009, 08:31 PM

hi all,

Ferrals - that poem is beautiful..it bought tears to my eyes.

Given up hope - Just for some inspiration..when I lost my fourth just a few weeks ago my boss spoke to me to give me hope. he and his wife lost 6 angels then had a boy lost another angel then had a girl. While it is hard and heartbreaking especially when they (docs) won't give us a reason why they leave us there is hope for all of us.

Thanks everyone for the uplifting 'hope ur better' messages. I'm doing great. I'm really looking forward to bd next week (I'm chasing

) and then that painful tww. I've still got 37 of those 40 hcg tests so I can waste a few testing early

I've got a bridal expo to put together in 2 months...I'm freaking out!

Hey to everyone...fingers crossed and

to everyone....

we all get out of here this month and move together into the due date.