Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage/Loss April/May 2009

[Trillian]

I also just want to reiterate what Flowerchild has just said. It is not a huge ask to turn your tickers off in this area and quite frankly the arrogance and disrespect is astounding.

[sushee]

Apparently, Flowerchild's post has been utilised to attack her, when in effect she is speaking as a representative of many of the members who use this thread, and this forum. That is something we do not tolerate here on BB, that members feel it's okay to attack a moderator for doing her job in protecting the members of this forum.

As individual members, you are not privy to complaints, PMs or discussions that we, as moderators, receive on a regular basis. You are not the person who has to appease a woman with a recent loss who finds pregnancy tickers confronting and painful. You obviously do not have to deal with this pain and therefore you will not have an idea of where Flowerchild is coming from.

This forum is 90% about pregnancy and babies, and there is 90% of the forum for you to view pg tickers. That there are members who find it difficult to see such a ticker in a M/C forum is understandable.

That there are people arguing with the rule to turn pg tickers off in this forum makes me wonder if in fact you understand that being supportive ALSO means not doing something that is likely to hurt someone and cause them pain. Or is support only offered on YOUR terms? Does the fact that there are those who are hurt by it mean nothing to you?

I welcome you to PM me to discuss this further if you have any further input on this topic. We have had this rule in the LTTTC forums for many years without issue, and if I need to explain it again in plainer terms to you as to why we have the rule here now, I'm more than happy to do it in private. ANY further public discussion on this topic will be removed and the poster infracted without further notice for debating a moderator decision.

[coco1411]

I agree with Mods.

I know that when im having a bad day and see someones ticker it sends me into a depressed state that's hard to get out of. I dont think it is too much to ask that those that are having successful pregnancies not to display their pg tickers in a forum where women are grieving.

If you want some hope, (and I do this myself)..go into the PAML thread

Thanks Mods!

Other than that, hello to everyone and all the newbies in here! I have been lurking. We are still having dramas with our real estate re closing the sale of our apartment and the stress is causing me headaches..literal headaches. Instead of closing today we're closing in another month.. basically the tenant went and signed another lease after being told not to and after she was made aware that we were selling the place so the buyers therefore couldnt have it vacant posession...We didnt think anything of the lease when we got it in the mail because that was when we lost our baby. *sigh* I hate real estate..

I am due to get my blood taken to test my progestorone and do full blood work to rule anything out so that's pretty cool. I have started ther POAS with OPK now because I ovulated early last month & dont want to miss it! I think I am meant to have the progestorone tested at 7dpo is that right? I thought it should be earlier, can someone please help me on that one?

Hope everyone is having a better week than us!

[Inanna]

Coco the progesterone test is sometimes called the day 21 test... This is because it should be done for the most acccurate result at 7 dpo. So about 8 days after you get your first positive opk.
Good luck.

Thankyou for the masses of positive feedback and understanding I have received. As Sushee pointed out - my job is to enforce the guidelines of the forum. I think it is also important to remember that this forum is visited by folk that don't post - women and some men who want to glean support from others in a similar position. So just because a very few of you think it's not upsetting a large number do. We have privvy to that information. Our aim is to be a place of support and understanding - where the majority are comfortable.

Now, lets put this to bed and move on with supporting those that need support...

[meh]

Gosh guys what a full-on couple of days it's been in here!

coco ~ Good luck with your testing. It's beyond my knowledge, just sending you some good luck vibes. I hope the RE dramas settle soon. Our settlement date is 8 May and in our case the vendor is being awful. How I wish all our RE transactions were without hassles!

erybery ~ that's magical news about your small girl. I'm so pleased for you!!

Mrzbaby ~ I'm thinking of you, hang in there.

Jen ~ When you posted you were having a drink it was hysterical to read because it came up as 9.50-ish am!! I hope RB isn't too dreadful this time. I'm glad you're compling a list of questions for your Dr's appointment. Knowledge is power!

Sally ~ hoping that maybe you've caught your pearl

boble ~ good luck with your investigations with the Sydney clinic.

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed here and in RL. I'm just trying to breathe and not drop too many balls at once. DH and I did a relay today - I worked this morning and now he's working this afternoon. Thanks so much for our DS's birthday wishes. Fingers crossed he'll get better soon and life can return a little to normal.

It's so funny?! This month I'm pretty sure we aren't pregnant but I'm still checking for every little symptom. Interestingly....there are hardly any symptoms!! I'm a bit confused. I was starting to think (completely without medical back up, just me trying to make sense of things...) that I must have stacks/enough progesterone because of the strength of my PMS symptoms in the last two cycles. I'm just about ready to stop looking for anything, because I'm just getting confused.

Someone here (and I'm sorry, I can't remember who...) used to talk about a 'zen' approach to things. Well here goes nothing!

My apologies to those I haven't named individually. I think about you all often.
Take care everyone,
M

[milly5]

Hi all,

I posted this over on another thread (I am not sure where actually as I am new to this site).

Anyway ....

4 days ago I had a m/c. We had been TTC for a while, and were so excited when we got the BFP. *sigh*

We were really struggling with TTC, so I had got the OPK sticks. I got the sticks because I didn't feel confident with temping, given that I work shift work, and would not be able to temp at the same time each day.

But I am anxious for us to TTC as soon as possible, and the DR has advised it will be OK as long as I have at least one normal cycle.
I am considering a fertility monitor, as I can't sit back and wait another year to TTC (I am now 37 and have 2 angel babies and no living children).

Does anyone have any experience with fertility monitors, and can recommend a good one (and where to get it from)?

Or even any advice really would be appreciated.

Thanks.

[Inanna]

Welcome to this thread Milly - I replied to you in your other thread. No doubt the other lovely ladies will add their comments...

[coco1411]

Hi all,

I am considering a fertility monitor, as I can't sit back and wait another year to TTC (I am now 37 and have 2 angel babies and no living children).

Does anyone have any experience with fertility monitors, and can recommend a good one (and where to get it from)?

Or even any advice really would be appreciated.

Thanks.

Hey Milly I didnt get the email you sent? What address did you send it to? It's

blackplumdoteventsatgmaildotcom if that makes sense lol if not just add me on facebook, eliza melissa mcdonald

[Cherished]

morning lovlies,

milly5 Welcome I am so sorry for your loss. I temp and use the opk's which I have found to be really accurate (if that helps at all) temping would be pretty hard for you if you work shifts so if the opk's work for you than maybe give the temping a miss? Do you track your CM too? I think I could really do a chart just on CM and use the OPK's also. Re ttc again. We decided to try straight away but didn't geta bfp. I have just had my 1st period and am hoping to get a BFP this time! Good luck with whatever you decide

Lulu, Sparkles,Ferrals, Teme, Missymoohoo & Susie-T I am thinking of you all

Shortcake I hope you are ok honey

sallyk61 what did the acupuncturist say your temps should be? I forgot to mention that I went back on Friday for the 2nd visit since the D&C and she said that there was a huge improvement in my hormones so I am feeling pretty confident that my body is all ready to go for o on (hopefully) Monday.

tutmae thanks for the baby vibes

charm What is preseed... I think I've asked before ages ago on this thread but can't remember if I got answer? Does it boost your chances heaps? How does it work?

Hannah so nice to hear from you hope you are doing well xoxo

Meh, Mel, Angles, Jen, RhiChi, Sunny, Smi, Ervbery, Coco, Boble, Mollycat, megsmum, Greenslw, Mrzbaby, JackJack& Mannie

[sparkles-ttc]

Hi all
wow so much has gone on here., sorry if i cant keep up
i am still getting to know everyones situations and it does make it harder being a new person. lol
I am doing better, bledding has lessened however last night i had more tissue passed aonly a little bit and pains, i was also so dizzy when layiong down i felt like fainting, so i hope its not an infectione ct i am on anti biotics.

I have been busy as i started work on monday just mon and tues but by the time i get home and pick up Kyrah and play with her i havent had much time for the computer, as i have also had border line migranes, did this happen to anyone after a m/c?? i guess its loss of blood and hormones

short cake- i went through 12 super pads on sat and passed HEAPS of tissue when i was miscarriaging and the hospital told me to come straight to the ER as that is way too much bleeding, i would go to the ER or docotrs staright away, i didnt really think too much of it but my mum was worried and so were the hospital and docotrs i was kept in for hours and hours
good luck
xoxox

[ferrals5]

Hi ladies
I've been working a lot of hours so hav'nt had time to check in and see how you all are by the looks of it i missed a lot.
Anyway my AF is gone so now the fun begins checking temp maybe baby lot's of ect.i can't check my CM as i never have any only white never really changes and i never have ewcm but i still get pregnant.
I had a cry for my little girl on monday as she would be here in 15 weeks and all the reminders get to me from time to time but i feel better knowing i'm not alone and i can pop on line and chat to all of you.

Shortcake -i would check with the doctor as my bleeding was really bad to and it worried me so get checked for piece of mind.

mrzbaby-

Mill5-sorry for your loss and welcome

To all the other ladies there is so many to keep up withto you all

Me35Dh37
Ds15Ds13Ds11
Abbi 20/3/09 19w5d

[boble]

I had my first lot of bloods taken this morning for the m/c testing... 6 full tubes after a 12 hour fast - im feeling ok though which is good. I have to get another blood test done on the 7th, plus there is another big long list of tests I have to get done so I am planning maybe to go in for those on either Friday or Monday - just depending on how I feel of course. I will also have to fast for 12 hours before that big lot too.

Milly - sorry to hear of your loss. I hope you get a speedy bfp.

Jen - big to you!

Shortcake - eek -that doesn't sound good at all. Please go and get checked out by a doctor!

Hi there to everyone else and happy hump day

[plc1805]

jen - there aren't enough , mother hen

mrzbaby - i am keeping everything crossed for you

shortcake - hun, sounds like you should go and get yourself checked out if this is unusual, sorry it hasn't happened to me to be able to advise you otherwise

angels 1& 2- i ditto what a great place this is because amidst the sadness we have genuine people on here that really care about one another

boble - good luck with your tests hun

my prayers are with those of you who particularly need them at this time and my thoughts are with you always......

[Inanna]

Sally yes the 21 day test is a blood test. To be accurate it needs to be done 7 days post ovulation.

Meh: I am gluten intolerant so your cake would be welcome in my house! I love gluten free orange cake - it's a favourite with my kids- I usually make muffins out of the recipe - very yummy and it freezes well...

Shortcake - that does sound like very heavy bleeding - you do need to access some medical care at least for an asessment. I know for me - I have lost 6 babies and had 4 D & C's all up - I did bleed quite significantly a few periods down the track. I remember it being very draining. Take some good quality ORGANIC iron supplements - these will give less of a tendency to making you constipated. Always take iron with vitamin c - a glass of orange juice is okay or a Vit C supplement... I hope you are okay...

It is important to move on ladies - it was terribly upsetting for me also to have such a response to enforcing BB guidelines. It makes the site run so much more lovingly and supportively when people just accept that there are rules that help the majority and we are in a position of knowing the whole story not just a little window... Ever heard the story that Edward DeBono tells (he is the famous lateral thinker). Another BB member tells it much better than I but I will attempt... A man looks through a key hole and through it he sees a crowd running and screaming - soon after he sees a man chasing them with a knife. He says "OMG that man is trying to kill those people"... So he opens the door and makes chase. He comes accross the crowd at the bottom of a tree with the man with the knife trying to cut free a boy who was stuck...
Through his keyhole he saw a nasty horrible event unfolding - he judged harshly that dreadful knife wielding man... But alas the man was the boys saviour...
Do you get the analogy??? When you only know a piece of the story you can make speedy, unkind and unfair judgements.
There has to be a certain amount of trust afforded to those in a position of "caretkaer" it has to be trusted that unless time and experience tells you otherwise that person is doing the best for the majority. A bit like when we parent our kids. Being a moderator means we make decisions so that our site runs the most effectively - we protect those that need protecting and we speak out when it needs to happen too. We dont do it for the sake of it - we do it for the greater good. So let's now put this to bed and move on with the important job of loving and supporting each other...

[charm]

Mrzbaby I really hope that it is just to early to test I am thinking of you and best of luck.
My order of pre seed arrived in time for my O this month so I am hoping that will help with making my ttc wish to happen faster as I am not the most patient person in the world the last 10 weeks seems like a whole year not that I am wishing time away have a good day everyone.

[sallyk61]

Thanks for letting us know how to turn the tickers off! It will be very helpful when the time comes.. hopefully very soon!

Milly - Sorry that your joining us but it is a wondeful, supportive and helpful thread. I have only used OPK's and temping isnt reflecting my bodily activities I dont think but I do remember something being mentioned a while ago so who ever posted about it will be on soon no doubt to help!


meh - hope its gets easier soon and your little man starts to feel alot better!

Flowerchild - is the day 21 test a poas test?

coco - hope you get some answers soon!! xxoo

jen- sorry RB is here but hope you have a lovely few drinks to relax!!!

Afm - went to acupunture, he said my temps are all wrong and ALL to high????
Anyway I guess it doesnt matter cause the opk's told me what I needed...
I think.....

xxoo

[Tuesday's Child]

First of all, I would like to apologise to anyone I may have offended or caused pain by posting my signature in here. I have previously expressed concerns about continuing to post in here as I don't want to upset anyone, but I can't bear to leave you all. I want to see you all get your BFPs. But Flowerchild was right to point out that there are many people who read these threads but don't post. Please don't give the mods a hard time about this. I am very thankful to them for the job that they do. And lets face it, if they wanted to be really harsh, they could forbid us to post in here at all once we get our BFPs. Again, I am truly sorry if I have offended anyone.


to all the newbies. I am very sorry for the losses that have brought you here. But you couldn't have found a group of more supportive and wonderful women. I don't know how I would have gotten through without being able to cry, scream, vent and even laugh with the ladies here. I wish you all the best and hope your time here is short.

boble - I think I've said it before but it can't hurt to repeat it. Goodluck with all the testing. I hope you can get some answers.

meh - Thats too bad that DS was sick on his birthday. I hope he feels better soon.

sally - I hope you caught your pearl I don't think its possible to BD too much when TTC (unless DH has a low sperm count).

charm - I hope the pre-seed works for you .

cherished - Goodluck for the upcoming BD marathon. I hope you catch that eggie.

MO3B - Good to see you're still around. I hope you're looking after yourself.

jen - What mollycat said. I was sure I wasn't the only one saving you a seat in PAML. I hope you enjoyed your last rum and coke for a while.

erybery - That is such great news about your little girl

mrzbaby - Fingers crossed that you're reliable answer on Sunday is a positive one

Shortcake - Sorry that RB is giving you a hard time .

Eliza - Goodluck with the blood tests. I'm sorry the real estate issues are causing you stress, but it sounds as though they are getting sorted.

to everybody not mentioned. I read and think about you all everyday.

[jen805]

Will be back later for persies.... but I wanted to tell the mods thanks.... you know what for! I just wanted you to know that it's appreciated by more than just me! Honestly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you!



Big for everyone! Will be back later, I promise!