I have to suffered a loss in fact my twins in Aug 08, I went into preterm labour at 20 weeks, it has been a very long road for me in regard to recovering emotionally from it, but it seems to be getting better day by day.
My DH & I have decided that we are going to try to make a another baby, mind you he was dead aganist it and when it was Xmas and onwards to my EDD 6/1/09 I was a mess and he knew how much I wanted to try again.
I am wondering what people will say once we do concieve and tell family, of course we will wait until I am safe and showing.
Ohh Lillangels - soo so sorry for your loss, how terrible. people will say all sorts of things and the ones who love you will try really hard to say the right things. So much good luck for TTC.
smi--Sorry you're feeling crappish today! Hope you feel better tomorrow! Just think: It's going to be Thursday... which means only 1 more day to go 'til Fri!! Then it's a 3-day weekend! Yay for President's Day!
Toccara--Hey sista! Sorry to hear you're feeling unwell! Sending lots of get well and hope you feel better soon!
Mel-- for AF! So happy for you that the op didn't interfere with your chances for this month! You're being given a fresh, new start! Sending lots of for my newest cycle bud!
jackjack--Sorry to hear you're still sick... hope it's not whooping cough! Take care of yourself, and feel better soon!
littleangels-- So sorry for the loss of your angel twins It's tragic enough losing one, but to lose two... it's beyond comprehension! I pray you find comfort, support, and friendship here among us. You're in my thoughts!
jen - I was appalled ready about your 'friend'. You certainly deserve to have better people than that around you. I'm sorry you didn't get any answers from the BT, but at least you know your thyroid is functioning normally. Big sloppy back at ya!
jackjack - I'm so glad your little boy is safe and seems unscathed by the pool incident. I hope your in-laws get the gate fixed now. I hope you get over the flu soon, it sounds pretty nasty.
Mel - I think I said it before, but I'm so glad you are feeling hopeful and inspired again. Enjoy this chance to start over. Its great that AF is going easy on you now. I hope its the beginning of a trend. Or not. Hopefully she you'll get a BFP this cycle so you won't have to know if it was pain free due to the meds or not.
Theresa - I hope you are starting to feel better. Woo hoo for a healthy, strong heartbeat.
Polly - Glad you are feeling at peace. I'm praying you will have your forever baby to share this Christmas with.
chappas - Glad things are well with you. I know it must be frustrating to have to wait for a scan, but as jen said, at least nothing is wrong.
Mannie - Thats fantastic news that your thyroid levels are back to normal. Enjoy the rest of your time on the Gold Coast. Even if it is for work, at least it is a change of scenery.
Shortcake - So glad the meds worked and AF finally showed (even if she was a bit of a b*tch while she was here). Lets hope its her last visit for 9 months.
babymiracles - Sending lots of zen vibes your way. I know its hard, but try not to stress too much. Your levels seem great to me! Goodluck for next week's scan. I can't wait to hear all about that heartbeat.
meh - Glad the UTI is gone. Hopefully you'll have a BFP to report in a few weeks.
WTH - Once again I'd like to say congratulations. I'm so very happy for you.
fifi - I must be a lousy cook too. I'm sure I've been following your recipe for the last 6 months. lol
toccara - Sorry you're not feeling too good at the moment. Goodluck with the new doc (when your insurance card arrives).
megsmum - Sending lots of zen vibes to you too, to help you relax a bit. I'm sure your little one is perfectly fine.
samandpoppy - Goodluck for the upcoming IVF cycle.
naenae - We haven't met before, but welcome back. It looks as though you've had a tough road so far. Goodluck. I hope your TTC journey is short.
Karen van - Yay for a strong heartbeat.
smi - Woo hoo for great NT results. Low risk, huh? Thats what I like to hear.
Indy - Sorry your cycles are messing you around. I can't offer any help but giving you a big
littleangels - I'm so sorry for your losses. I hope your TTC journey is short. I am currently reading "Trying Again" by Ann Douglas. It does discuss if, how and when to tell people you are TTC or pregnant after loss.
AJC, tutmae, jenushka, issy, erybery and anyone I have missed.
My thoughts and prayers are with all those who are facing or have loved ones facing the fires in Victoria. The devastation is beyond comprehension.
Now that the persies are out of the way, its time for a me post.
I'm not sure where to start though.
Last Friday I found out that my brother has also been diagnosed with depression as well as anxiety. I still can't figure out how I feel about that. Mum is expecting us to somehow help each other. I don't think we're there yet. We need to figure out ways to help ourselves first, maybe later on we'll be able to help each other. It also makes me feel kind of hopeless, like the way I feel is predetermined by genetics and nothing can change that.
I can't imagine ever not feeling like this. I'm re-thinking that medication might be the way to go. Apparently they can do a test to determine who is likely to respond to certain anti-depressants. But I know that if I start taking them, I'll fall pregnant and then have to decide whether to continue or not, all the while wondering if they've hurt the baby or not.
On a more positive note, my doctor ordered some blood tests last week. My cholesterol, iron, electrolytes, vitamin D, thyroid function, kidney function and liver function are all perfectly normal. At least there is no physical cause for my depression and I am in physical tip-top shape for pregnancy. Now I just need to sort out my head.
Also, now that I won't be pregnant by my EDD (22/2), I feel a weight has been lifted in tems of TTC. I feel more relaxed about it and that it will happen when it happens. Besides, I obviously have issues I need to deal with.
Well, I think thats me up to date. Thankyou all so much for your thoughts and support. I have been lurking, its just that positivity is hard for me to come by at the moment (which can make posting hard).
Speaking of positivity, my doc gave me some homework this week. I have to do at least one nice thing for myself. Any ideas? What do you do when you want to cheer yourself up?
Toccara- Hopefully your new insurance card comes soon and that you start feeling better.
mel- I'm glad your our new cycle buddy! Hopefully we all get a BFP t his month sending you lots of Babydust!
Littleangels- Welcome! I'm so sorry for the loss of your twins. You have come to the best place. Here you will find the sweetest & most supportive women. May your TTC journey be short and you get your forever baby soon.
HannahD- I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. I was on depression meds when I became pregnant. I stopped taking them as soon as I found out. But they did seem to work before I became pregnant with the depression. Maybe take yourself out and get some new outfits or a day at the spa to help relax.
AFM- Nothing new here. Talked to DH last night about TTC. I am very excited and he is a little nervous as he wants this just as bad as I do. That we get to hold our forever baby soon.
HannahD--So sorry to hear your brother has also been dx with depression and anxiety! I think you're right, tho, that you both have to work out your own feelings before you can help each other! It's hard to properly focus on one problem, when you're facing a huge problem of your own that you're tying to wrap your mind around. Only you can determine whether meds are the right path for you... I've had both favorable and unfavorable experiences with them myself. I think that it's great that they now have a test to determine if a person will respond to the treatment! Maybe that's the first step in your decision making process.
I remember telling my DF that I didn't think I would ever be happy until I was pg again... and honestly, I still feel the same way. It's easy for me to become immersed with everyone else's problems here on bb.... it's really the only time that my mind isn't on my own probs! I think with age, it's gotten to the point with me that it's just easier to somehow try to ignore what's going on inside myself... it's like I have to completely cut out any thought process about myself and my feelings. I think that's another reason why I dove into the fundraising at the school... it's the only way that I can keep my mind distracted! If there's ever a time when I'm bored, and don't have anything to do, my mind will wander to the little 4 mo. old that's supposed to be consuming my time... and, I swear... I don't even know how to explain it... it's like nothing else matters, but because I hide it so well, you'd never know it! It's the only way that I can protect myself from myself (if that makes any sense at all!). I'm sorry.... here I was leaving you a post to try to help you feel better, and it ends up being about me! I just wanted you to know that you're not alone... it's truly such a lonely feeling when it feels like nobody understands what you're going thru. The only thing that ever makes me feel better is knowing that I'm doing all I can to help someone else fight the same fight--the battle of a broken heart. To put a smile on someone's face... to brighten their day... to make them realize that they're special and worthy... I didn't know how to do that before--or maybe I was so involved in myself, that it just didn't occur to me that there were people out there that needed it!
For some reason, Hannah, you're on my mind all the time! I worry about you so much! It's ironic that we've never even met... somehow I feel so connected with you and what you're going thru, maybe because you remind me so much of myself, I don't know. I just want you to be happy--and know that you really are happy and you're not just hiding it well! I want to read a post by you, and be able to feel your happiness and excitement emanating thru your words.... I know one day soon you'll be announcing your BFP to us--and honestly, I'd pay God to give you your forever angel before he gives me mine! Your happiness has become my goal!
I'm sorry that your EDD is coming up... it's tough, I know. My anniversary for my m/c is Mar. 5 (the day before my b-day). I've decided in honor of my little angel I'm going to do something that I never in a million years thought anyone could get me to do: I'm going to do a tandem skydive! I'm going to soar above the clouds with my angels! I'm slightly anxious, but I think it will be liberating somehow... hopefully I won't end up like my MIL!
I'm thrilled that your dr. asked you to do something nice for yourself! It's about time--you deserve it! Retail therapy always works well in cheering me up... but you know, Shortcake mentioned a spa... or maybe a massage--I've never done either--but I've heard it's amazing! Take care of yourself, hon, and please don't feel like you can't post if you don't have anything positive to say! We're here for you whether you're happy or sad--that's what friends are for!
Sorry for such a super long post! Will be back later for the rest of persies--that took a little longer than expected, and now I have to get DS ready for school!
Hi Ladies
Thankyou for all of your words of advice regarding not having early scan. You have all made me look on the positive side and i feel much better for it.
Jen - Just wanted to say that your last post made me want to send you a big it is so selfless of you to always be there for all of us girls and not often tell of the pain you feel yourself. I really cant wait for the day when i log on to find you announce your bfp i'm it will be real soon.
Shortcake - Glad that af is leaving for you, sending lots of luck for ttc
Smi - Hope you feel better soon
Toccara - Sorry that you are not feeling well
Jackjack - Sorry to hear that you still have flu you dont have whooping cough.
Mel - Glad to hear that you are feeling better each day and that af arrived so you can ttc again soon.
Littleangels - So sorry to hear of your loss,wishing you best of luck ttc.
Hannah - So sorry to hear of your brother. Sorry that your edd is coming up soon take care of yourself. Think its a great idea to do something nice for yourself.
I hope we are all ready to TTC again this month and that we will be blessed with lots of BFP!!
I havent read through everyones post yet so i will do personals later, i just wanted to say that I'll be back TTCing starting this month. After a M/C in Nov 07 and failing to concieve from March 08 AND being diagnosed with PCOS, i have now been prescribed Metformin and am currently around the time that i should be ovulating *fingers crossed* The metformin is making me feel really ill but i was warned that this might happen.
Hopefully i'll be able to get to know you all soon and that we can all move onto the next stage of our lives with a BFP
WTH--Just realized you said PUKING But I said I was using a pumpkin chucker to chuck you some ( I said punkin', but it's actually pumpkin!) Just wanted to clarify so that you didn't think I was sending you some puking vibes or something! Being pg is wonderful, but I really wouldn't wish m/s upon anyone!
Hi everyone,
Well my DH found out when I was 12wks2days preg (12/2/2009)that our little angel had died at 11wks5days. This was only last week and I have just come home from hospital today from surgery. My DH and I are going through the why us... what did we do wrong... It really did not help to see a mother with her new born baby leaving the hospital standing at the front desk to be discharged and telling her 5 yr old he was a naughty little **** and she would have to kick him up the backside now as she had a baby in her hands and telling him wait till he got home!!.... At this stage i really questioned the why us who would never say that to any of our children. I had to walk away as i was very unable to hold back my thoughts and views at this stage. Then she went outside lit up a smoke and was talking to a friend abnout catching up and to bring the foil!!!! and to pick up some grog because it wouldn't fit in her car!!!!!!!!!!!!
It just seems life can be so unfair...
I miss my Belly Buddies messages even though i do pop back in and see how they are going .. I don't post but I like knowing they are all ok.
I know that this is me talking when my head is not clear.
I would love to have another baby but the fact is I am so darn scared now with having lost this one at such a late stage. The worst part is I so want this but I don't know if I want this as I know that I could not go through this again. Our Doc was so great he said that our chances of this happenning again are very very very slim, and that it appears the placenta did not attach properly.
I was just wondering when you girls knew you were ready to TTC again?
I am going to leave my thoughts on this for a few months. When I have alittle more head space.
Also has anyone lost at this stage and then gone on to have a successful pregnancy ?
Hope you feel better tomorrow! Just think: It's going to be Thursday... which means only 1 more day to go 'til Fri!! Then it's a 3-day weekend! 
Yay for President's Day! 
and hope you feel better soon!
for AF! So happy for you that the op didn't interfere with your chances for this month! You're being given a fresh, new start! Sending lots of 
for my newest cycle bud! 
So sorry for the loss of your angel twins 
It's tragic enough losing one, but to lose two... it's beyond comprehension! I pray you find comfort, support, and friendship here among us. You're in my thoughts!
Its great that AF is going easy on you now. I hope its the beginning of a trend. Or not. Hopefully she you'll get a BFP this cycle so you won't have to know if it was pain free due to the meds or not.
AJC, tutmae, jenushka, issy, erybery and anyone I have missed.
That we get to hold our forever baby soon. 
I'm slightly anxious, but I think it will be liberating somehow... hopefully I won't end up like my MIL! 
Being pg is wonderful, but I really wouldn't wish m/s upon anyone! 
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