Now that the persies are out of the way, its time for a me post.

I'm not sure where to start though.

Last Friday I found out that my brother has also been diagnosed with depression as well as anxiety. I still can't figure out how I feel about that. Mum is expecting us to somehow help each other. I don't think we're there yet. We need to figure out ways to help ourselves first, maybe later on we'll be able to help each other. It also makes me feel kind of hopeless, like the way I feel is predetermined by genetics and nothing can change that.

I can't imagine ever not feeling like this. I'm re-thinking that medication might be the way to go. Apparently they can do a test to determine who is likely to respond to certain anti-depressants. But I know that if I start taking them, I'll fall pregnant and then have to decide whether to continue or not, all the while wondering if they've hurt the baby or not.

On a more positive note, my doctor ordered some blood tests last week. My cholesterol, iron, electrolytes, vitamin D, thyroid function, kidney function and liver function are all perfectly normal. At least there is no physical cause for my depression and I am in physical tip-top shape for pregnancy. Now I just need to sort out my head.

Also, now that I won't be pregnant by my EDD (22/2), I feel a weight has been lifted in tems of TTC. I feel more relaxed about it and that it will happen when it happens. Besides, I obviously have issues I need to deal with.

Well, I think thats me up to date. Thankyou all so much for your thoughts and support. I have been lurking, its just that positivity is hard for me to come by at the moment (which can make posting hard).

Speaking of positivity, my doc gave me some homework this week. I have to do at least one nice thing for myself. Any ideas? What do you do when you want to cheer yourself up?