Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage/Loss -February 2009

[meh]

Hello everyone,

This thread always buzzes along - I've been checking up on how you are all doing, just keeping my head low and concentrating on home for the time being. Sorry. Welcome to the new people, and may your TTC journeys be short.

Hannah - I have a very quiet for you. Happy anniversary.

Jen - can so empathise with your DS's tonsils. Hope your sleep deprivation is short! But I also want to say you are so magnificent at encouraging other people in their homework, and in acknowledging their grief and emotions, etc, etc,. I also know that you're not so great at allowing it for yourself (listen to me, the pot calling the kettle black!) All our experiences are relative. We can always find someone in a 'worse' situation than ourselves, but it's important to be gentle on ourselves and acknowledge what is specific just to us. I suppose I'm trying to say that we're all worth it, no matter where our experiences might put us on the continuum of loss. Ge gentle on yourself this week. You're important too. I hope this makes some sort of sense - it sounds much more eloquent in my head, and it's not translating well to the keyboard!

Boble - not sure that we've met? I too have had terrible insomnia at different times, but particularly at high school. When we were planning for DS I did a local yoga course for a couple of terms and the relaxation breathing has really helped. My flexibility could probably use the yoga again, but I the breathing takes no time at all, and I find really helpful. Have you ever tried yoga?

charm - we had a natural m/c but were told to wait between 2 and 3 cycles from various GPs (at our clinic) and our OB. For me, on my good days the rawness has waned to a dull ache in my heart but then on my bad days it comes bubbling to the surface. I've realised that my grief is manageable unless I am pre-menstrual, and then I have no control for at least a day and am pretty much wrecked. But with this knowledge comes power, because I'm learning what this current version of my body is wanting from me. Sorry....the short answer is you will know in your heart and your head when you are ready to TTC again and that will be for the right reasons for you and your DH not for anyone else. Hope this makes sense!

RhiChiChi - I still feel disappointed/angry/upset when I hear of other people's pregnancies, but I'm really trying to change my thinking. I've noticed I've become much less tolerant of people who aren't thankful for the rarity of their gifts, but I'm learning that their ignorance is not something I can necessarily help either. Hope you manage to find some sort of balance, too.

smi - hope things look up soon for you and your DH.

mrzbaby - hope this last round of treatment will sort things out and you continue to improve. You must be glad to be at home with your family again. Take care.

shortcake - hope the surgery for your dad went well. Mine had a double by-pass 14 years ago and hasn't looked back since.

Good luck to everyone growing new small people!

And good luck to those still working on it IYKWIM

We are officially TTC but only you guys know. This is a bit of a feat for me, because I'm usually terrible at secrets! After the UTI last cycle (which was only 23 days - WTF??) this cycle has been much more pleasant. We're technically newlyweds because we were only married in October last year, so DH is kind of rapt with the BD marathon. It's been tricky (is anything ever easy??) because the small boy went from a fever (peaking at about 39.5C) not this last weekend but the one before which then evolved into bronchitis last week. That is yuk! I'm so glad I'm not temping because there were a few days where I didn't get enough sleep in total let alone a good few hours before temping so my numbers would have been all over the place. So, long story short, observation and OPKs tell us we're now in the TWW. AF is due sometime next week. I have a really good feeling about this cycle, but the last time I had this feeling was the cycle we conceived Newbie so I don't know if I really want to trust my 'vibes' at this point.

Back to work tomorrow amidst another nasty weather forecast here so may not be back to post until the end of the week.

Take care everyone,
M

[charm]

Thanks guys well I ordered a wardrobe for the baby's room and they want to deliver it which then my DH said what if we don't fall preg again arghh he is scared too they were my thoughts but I am trying to be positive that we will be able to conceive hey everybody here tells me now your as clean as a whistle you will fall easily so I do hope that turns out to be true I also worry i will need a 2nd D&C as I am still spotting but I guess I will find out Thursday my fingers and crossed that it will all be okay. Positive news would be great at this stage.

[Abbey B]

I am out this month


2 x bfn's yesterday and cramping and normal AF signs today

Its just so hard, all i see is babies!! Everywhere.. Every bfn is like a knife to the chest for me and it just cuts deeper with each passing month!! I just want to hide away and never come back out, all i want is a baby! I want to care a nurture it and be everything for it but i'm denied that chance every month!! Each bfn is also another step down the road to IVF, i'm already on metformin and if that doesnt work its onto clomid next I'm not a drug user, i dont drink, i dont smoke, i am a good person so why is the powers that be punishing me like this? Its all i want!!

[mrzbaby]

I am out this month


2 x bfn's yesterday and cramping and normal AF signs today

Its just so hard, all i see is babies!! Everywhere.. Every bfn is like a knife to the chest for me and it just cuts deeper with each passing month!! I just want to hide away and never come back out, all i want is a baby! I want to care a nurture it and be everything for it but i'm denied that chance every month!! Each bfn is also another step down the road to IVF, i'm already on metformin and if that doesnt work its onto clomid next I'm not a drug user, i dont drink, i dont smoke, i am a good person so why is the powers that be punishing me like this? Its all i want!!

Oh Abby.....Try to stay positive... I know how you feel, I jokingly said to the ob and midwives in hosptials ( during one of my late night melt downs) that I was going to join the methadone program, smoke and drink because it appears as though these types of people breed like no tomorrow without problems.... Well it appears that way anyhow.


With my other 3 children I was not all that controlled with the diabetes but ensured from the moment i found out i was preg that my diabetes was controlled there on.. I took no pre preg vitamins only once i found out and that was only a folate tablet.....

With our angel baby I had all the pre conception tests done had the ok from my diabetes specialist and gyno before trying.... took the pre conception tablet 5 months before TTC and it still didn't work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I am so so nervous about trying again and last night whilst not being able to sleep I made the decision not to TTC ( unbeknowns to DH ). I know it is only my emotions talking / thinking at the moment, but I am so damn scared to try and have a M/C happen again or have a child born with problems ( all 3 of mine had small issues when born ) and the diabetes ( even though I am well controlled apparently adds to the likely hood).

I know it makes you think why them and not us. I am not going to give one of those pathetic ..its for the best reasons that most people who have never lost a child give....I can only say try to remain positive..... Its hard I know....... Sending you lots and lots of
Em

[kazaraz]

Gosh, after reading everyone's journeys lately it makes me think to myself that I dont have much to complain about. I know I am blessed with two great girls, but we really long for another baby to feel like our family is complete. I think after miscarrying, it makes you want it so much more! On a positive note, I am off to the gynie tomorrow. Hopefully she will have some answers as to why I havent gotten an af since the m/c (9weeks) and why I feel so pregnant!

Hello to everyone already on their baby journeys, whether you are pregnant, ttc or have recently miscarried. Lets hope the stars shine brightly on us all and bring us the love, peace and happiness we all deserve x

[Shortcake]

Hello ladies! Time for persies!

kazaraz- Good luck at the Dr! Let us know how you make out.

mrzbaby- I too am scared to TTC again but for me its worth the risk. I very much long to hold my forever baby.

Abbey- I pray that you get your BFP soon. I see everyone else PG and it just doesn't seem fair.

Charm- Welcome! I hope that you do not need a 2nd D&C. *Hug*

meh- Praying that you get your BFP soon. Hope the weather isn't too nasty there!

smi- I pray that you and Lee find work soon.

Hannah- Happy Anniversary! for a BFP for you!

Rhi- Welcome! I still get angry/frustrated when I see others PG. (Especially the ungrateful ones) but I have realized that there is nothing I can do about it and I just have to keep hoping for the best.

Jen- for a BFP! When are you testing? 4 days yet right!

To everyone else lots of and !

AFM- Still busy helping out with the family. Thank you for everyones prayers. My father is home now and doing well recovering. If no AF on Friday I am going to test. Praying for it to be positive!

[Tuesday's Child]

meh - Sending you loads of now that you are officially TTC. I hope it is a short journey for you. Sorry to hear DS has been unwell. I hope he is now on the mend.

charm - I hope you don't need a second D&C. By the way, I bled for about 2 weeks all up after mine.

Abbey - I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry about the BFNs and that you are having a hard time. I have asked the same questions myself, but I don't think there are any answers.

Em - I don't think the fear of m/c will ever go away for me either. I guess we all have to weigh up whether our desire for a child outweighs the fear. I wish you the best with whatever you decide.

kazaraz - Goodluck with the gynie. I hope you get some answers soon.

Shortcake - Sending lots of your way.

AFM - Will be MIA for a few days while we are away (not sure if I will get time to post before leaving tomorrow). Still no sign of AF and I hope she will not be able to find me while I'm on holiday.

Will leave you with and for all those TTC and and for those baking. Have a great week ladies.

[RhiChiChi]

Hey all,

Hannah – Congratulations on your anniversary. Fingers crossed that you’ll have some other great news to celebrate. Sounding promising.

Meh – Thanks for your positive words. I too am trying to change my thinking, but yesterday I snapped. I think it was a long time coming but I’d pushed it down low. I should have dealt with my emotions straight away instead of letting them eat at me.
Sounds like a promising month for you. Sending you no AF visit vibes.

Charm – Could be a positive omen having the baby wardrobe?

Abbey – Oh, I am so sorry hun. Stupid witch, should know to stay away…. Thinking of you and sending you positive vibes for next month.

mrzbaby – There are so many emotions to work through when we are ttc (or considering it). Sometimes it’s hard to know how to handle them.

Kazaraz – Everybody’s journey/story is relative, so don’t discount yours.

Shortcake – GL with the testing on Friday.

AFM – No sign of AF but I am only day 31 after last AF and since I still had HCG level of 10 approx. 2.5 weeks ago, I am going to wait it out a bit longer, although the urge to test is strong. I think in my head I know I am not going to preg and if I am, well then I would be truly shocked as dh & I haven’t been regularly bd. If no AF by Saturday morning, I’ll test then. I am going to the naturopath on Friday, so hopefully she can give me some insight as to what is going on.

Hello to everyone else.

xx

[Mel1979]

Hi girls,

Just a quick one as off to Melbourne for the night to see Cold Play - DH is so excited!

Smi - so sorry to hear you have been laid off, hope things look up for you soon.

HannahD - Have a wonderful time away, still sending vibes your way. All healed from the op now, thanks for asking. Have had our BD shoes on!

Rhi -

shortcake - Hope your dad makes a quick recovery, good to see he is doing well. Hope this is your month.

Jen - Hope DS is feeling better and you have managed to get some sleep!

Ruthie - You are still in my thoughts and prayers

Kazaraz - Goodluck for your apt - hope you get some answers!

Babymiracles - Only 3 more sleeps until your scan

Abbey - Sorry, this wasn't your month. Unfortunately we all know the feeling too well. We are here if you need to vent.

Meh - Welcome back to TTC! Best of luck.

Boble - Thanks for your kind words - feeling a bit more positive today!

Big to everyone else. Sorry for terrible go at persies, running a bit late and I have a plane to catch!

Will be back tomorrow (just a flying visit as going again in a couple of weeks) so will post later in the week.

[charm]

I am hoping the wardrobe is a positive omen thanks. I see the gyno In 2 days and for some reason feel petrified about getting my results I need to stop doing my own head in (It's spinning sooo fast at the moment).I want to say a huge thanks to everyone for all the welcome's and support and I hope it's okay but I will be joining everyone on there journey to falling pregnant again it's been almost 2 weeks since my M/C and I feel desperate to be carrying a baby again Im counting until we can start trying again sorry huge vent crappy day. It will get better it has to.

[Where there's hope]

I'M BACK!

So, what have I missed? Any BFP's

Had our first US yesterday. We were sooooooo nervous as we had not had my HCG level checked for weeks. There we sore a lovely HB at 154 BPM and a baby two days ahead of schedule, measuring 7wks+4days (unlike its mother who is always ten minutes late). DH and I are thrilled to have achieved this necessary milestone. But as so many of you can understand, we have been here many times before. It is usually in the next couple of weeks when things go pear-shaped. But we are off to as as good a start as we could hope for. Not really had any MS to speak of (apart from dry-wretching when feeding the goldfish last night). Just very tired and headachey.

to any newcomers here. It won't take you anytime to figure out why this thread is such a god-send.


Oh - and to my phantom random act of kindness givers -

[babymiracles]

WTH Congratulations for seeing a lovely heart beat and I am so thrilled to hear things are going well so far. Fingers crossed that this one is forever. You have been in my thoughts so lovely to see your post. Hoping next few weeks are very uneventful

to everyone on this site. Hoping to see lots of BFPs very soon

[Where there's hope]

Hi Babymiracles
Awww - so sweet of you to think of me. And glad to see your ticker moving forward merrily also.
right back at ya

[Zachary's Mom]

Hi Ladies

Just popping in to say hello. I hope you are all keeping well.

There is just so much to catch up on that I am going to have to just say hi to everyone, sending lotsa to all of you on the TTC journey.

How are all you pg mum's to be?

I am doing quite well. Haven't had too much m/s and just a fair amount of heartburn. I am waiting for my next scan on the 12th March - I can't wait!!!!

I hope you are all well and I can't wait to see some more BFP's!!! I will be praying for you all.

Love
Theresa xxxxx

[Abbey B]

thank you for the support ladies... it feels good to know that there are people who know how i feel and can comprehend what i am going through.

but for now i'm experiencing the AF from hell, all i want to do is cry and i have even thrown a tantrum twice today, i just scream to get my frustration out and it feels good for about 2 seconds then i go back to feeling like crap again..


Sorry for the ranting, i know that there are other things in life that are more important than me and whats going on in my life

[fificlaire]

Hey ladies,

just popping in to say hi.

Not much to report with me. Am on a countdown now till i finish work. It cant come soon enough!!!

Am suffering badly with heartburn, all day and all night! also have nice swollen ankles - any excuse to put my feet up

hope your all keeping well!

[jen805]

Good morning lovely ladies! I'm sorry I was MIA yesterday.... I lost 4 posts last night, (YES-4!)then finally gave up when I couldn't log back onto bb! I hate it when that happens, make me so

So I'm going to read thru the posts real quick, then do a much-deserved mega post for everyone!

Thanks, btw, for everyone's thoughts and support for DS! He finally seems to be doing better, ( I even got a little attitude from him yesterday, which I have to say, I didn't miss at all! ) altho I still can't get him to eat. Have still been sleeping on the couch to keep an ear on him at night, since he can't really call out or anything. Poor guy had a rough couple nights there where he was whimpering and crying out in his sleep that "it just sucks, everything sucks!". He's such a trooper, making no complaints when awake... just worried as he's only barely drinking fluids. He has his f/u appt. tomorrow, so we'll see how he's healing then.

Ok, off to read the posts, then I'll be back!

[jen805]

Rhi--Good luck with your naturopath appt. Hope she can shed some light on what's going on with your body! Try not to push yourself too hard to 'get over' these feelings, hon, because you'll never be over it-you'll just learn how to cope a little better each day. Some days are worse than others, and when they are, you just have to allow it, and not apologize for it!



Hannah--Happy Anniversary! Hope you enjoy your trip--be safe--and sending an extra supply of I'm praying you come back with some good news!



meh--Thanks for making me feel important! It was very eloquently stated, and hugely appreciated! Best of luck for your TWW, praying it flies by and ends with a BFP!! Sorry to hear your DS has bronchitis, I hope he feels better soon!



charm--Hope you get some positive news about your test results tomorrow, and you don't need a second D&C! Glad that you'll be joining us on this bumpy TTC journey!



Abbey--Sorry to hear about AF from hell, especially after 2 BFN's... that's always the hardest. Hope she eases up today. I can so relate to that feeling of being punished--especially when you feel like you're doing everything right, and there's so many undeserving pg women out there that aren't even grateful for it! Sometimes it's good to throw a tantrum--or two! Very healing, and even if you went right back to feeling like crap, you still released something that will be helpful in your healing process! Big *hugs* and hope today is a better day!



mrzbaby--We're all scared and know exactly how you feel! Every time you get in your car you run the risk of being in an accident... it's just a chance you take everyday. You have to fight for what you want sometimes, but the prize at the end is so worth the struggle, pain, and frustration! It's in God's hands, hon, don't give up on your dreams!



kazaraz--Don't discredit your situation and what you went thru/are going thru--any loss is a loss of life, no matter what stage of pg'cy or how many children you already have! Good luck at your gyno appt. today--hope you get some answers!