Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage/Loss -February 2009

[chappas]

Ruthie - Iam so very sorry to hear your news. Will be very hard for you and your family,please let us know how your treatment is going

[boble]

Ruthie - im so sorry to hear your news. thinking of you and your family xx

Mel - i completely understand how you are feeling + the feelings you get about yourself after you feel that way. I have had 2 people I know have babies in the last month... both around my due date and yes I am happy for them.. but I am also very sad for me.. and have many moments of "me too". I also know two people due in the next month or so.. and then another friend due in July and then another due late August. Why is it when you are ttc and going through all this loss and pain every one is preg around you? it is like rubbing salt into the wound. Oh and I would also love to have that first pregnancy naivety that you are talking about - gee, if only we could go back there! Dont worry hun - these feelings are as natural as the air you breath!

Hannah - glad to hear you are doing your homework sounds nice actually!

Good to hear all our preg friends on here are doing well and seeing gorgeous little heart beats. sending lots of sticky vibes your way

sorry so much has been posted in the last couple of days its hard to keep up lol. Hi to everyone else! and thank you to everyone who replied to my post... i am happy that the results have come back normal, because that is a good thing, right? but..... if we had something come back otherwise we would at least have something we could work with and possibly "fix" the problem - or try to at least. and we would know there was a reason why we had to suffer these m/c's... but trying to think positively and just be happy that we got these normal results back.

oh also wanted to ask - and not sure if I have already asked it... but I get spotting before af arrives, around 7-10 days of spotting (then I have a normal af of 5 - 7 days)... has anyone else had this? and if so, have you ever found out that it was somehow linked to the m/c's?
This is not something i had before going on the pill. I was on the pill for about 4- 5 years and since going off it this has been the norm for me - but it doesn't seem that normal. I asked my gp about it and she said the only way to get rid of it is to put me back on the pill (helpful advice that when we are ttc). anyway, because i have spotted all through both recent pregnancies that have ended in m/c i can't help but feel it has something to do with the m/c's.

anyways... I will try to keep up with personals a little better still getting the hang of this -

[plc1805]

ruthie - hun, I cant believe it!! dont let this big "C" get to you and you fight fight fight hun!!! please stay in touch and let us know how you are doing - like Jen said you are family. just know all our love is being focussed on you

smi - i am so sorry you have had to leave your job. sending mountains of positivity your way so that your luck changes

hello and hugs to everyone - we are well and April is growing and so are her chubby cheeks - thanks for asking.

[jenushka]

Ruthie - just can't believe it hun .... what a horrible shock it must have been for you. Please don't give up yet I'm sending every positive thought your way...





While I'm here briefly, just wanted to send big hugs to Jen for consistently being such a complete gem. No kind gesture of yours ever goes unappreciated. How are those stormtrooper boots doing? Also hope ds is doing ok...

Wanted to drop off some super-strength and vibes for the ttc'ers, and some ultra-sticky for the bfp'ers...

afm - I'm doing well, getting some lovely strong kicks now which I will never get sick of - boosts the zen supplies each time

xx

[jen805]

RhiChiChi (Can I call you Rhi?)--Ooh, a little incognito action going on, eh? Completely understandable, thanx for explaining!



Hannah--So happy you're doing your homework--and actually enjoying it! How often does that happen? I hope it helps get rid of those nasty tension headaches for good! Sending some extra vibes--stay away biaaaatch!!!



smilanatu--So sorry to hear you've been laid off! I really hope you get some good news soon! Times are so tough right now with our cr@ppy economy--I'm just really sorry it had to happen now, during a time when you're supposed to be happy and stress-FREE! Sending all my best thoughts and positive vibes your way!



boble--Just had to LOL at your GP's helpful advice about going back on the pill to stop your spotting.... it reminds me of my appt. last month when my very helpful GP told me that the cure for most of the problems I complained about is to get pg! Maybe they're on the same dose of stupid pills! About the spotting, I've had a couple mo's where I had some spotting prior to AF, but I'm pretty sure most of that was brought on by BD'ing (sorry, tmi), and it was for 3 days prior. Sorry, probably not much help... but it doesn't seem normal to me that you would have 7-10 days of spotting before AF, especially when you've been off the pill for a while now, right? Do you have another dr. you could see about it, or maybe a specialist?



jenushka--Thanks so much for your appreciation! Hmm... as far as my supertrooper boots go... as the 5th is creeping closer, they're feeling a bit heavier. It doesn't help that my horoscope for Mar. says: "Still, you may feel blocked by memories of a difficult or hurtful situation, for assertive Mars joins wounded Chiron on the same day. Poetic Venus turns retrograde on March 6, tempting you to retreat rather than interact." So there's some mixed emotions.... I know it will be a nostalgic day, however, with DS home and recuperating, I'm not going to be wallowing in self pity. Especially when there's so many people out there going thru so much worse than I am right now (praying for you, Ruthie!) It really makes me reflect on and appreciate what I already have!

Oops, jen, almost forgot to say Woo hoo for baby kicks!!

[nicjay]

Ruthie - OMG I'm so very sorry! Massive, massive Please don't give up though, there is so much that can be done to treat cancer but you have to fight it! for you and your family.

smi - sorry to hear about both you and Lee. Hang in there though, things have to get better!

everyone else, hope you are having a nice weekend.

[boble]

lol Jen.. I think our gp's might just be on the same brand of stupid pills lmao. She is normally pretty good, but that comment just shocking!
Thanks for the info on the spotting.. I am strongly considering going and seeing a specialist. I just have to get time to go to a gp and get the referral - that is the only thing stopping me at the moment. Oh and I have been off the pill since the 3rd May 2008 and had the 2 pregnancies in that time - you would think that I would be all sorted out by now - body wise and cycle wise iykwim

I had such a terrible nights sleep last night I suffer from insomnia on and off and man did i suffer last night. I laid in bed tossing and turning from about 11pm till 2am.. i got up then and tried to make myself tired (and give dh a break from me tossing and turning) and didn't go back to bed till after 4am.. I am really really tired today - i feel like the walking dead! I know this is because I am stressed but it is hard not to. we have a tribunal hearing coming up early april and need to get all our evidence together. our ex landlord and ex friend is taking us there to claim for rent, water, cleaning cost as well as his travel costs to the tribunal and although i know he doesn't really have a case it is very stressful for me! One of the main things that I am worried about is that I will get a bfp and then lose our next little one because of the stress I am under i am so scared and even though last night that we should take a break till after the tribunal so it doesn't happen... but i really want my bfp too .... sorry for the winge.

I also wanted to share a reading I had done by "Ruby" regarding when I would conceive and what i would have. Has anyone else ever gotten one of these readings done? On another site she has been pretty good at getting the dates right.. but she got the sex wrong for one lady hehe. Anyway, here is my reading:

when I redid your reading being what happened in your case im now being shown a conceive or find out with a bfp or give birth between feb and april so either conceive or find out with a bfp between feb and april of 2009 or give birth between feb and april of 2010. I see a girl.
Then i see a conceive or find out with a bfp between aug and dec of 2012 and a girl.

I had a reading done before the m/c, so after i had the m/c i asked her to redo my reading and this was it.

[babymiracles]

Ruthie: I am so devastated to hear your news. Stay as strong as you can honey and get as much support as you can from family and friends - and visit us whenever you feel up to it. Know that you are in our thoughts and prayers

Smi: I am so sorry to hear that you have been laid off. Not the sort of stress your are wanting at the moment hey. Hang in there - you and DH will be in my prayers


Boble: hey firstly you do a wonderful job with persies - so much better than I have ever been! With regard the spotting - I had exactly the same thing for about 4 months before I started my first cycle of IVF. My OB/GYN said he wasn't concerned - so never got to the bottom of it - can remember it being very annoying though. Have you had tests just to double check you are ovulating? (OB/GYN said maybe I wasn't ovulating every cycle). Anyway first IVF cycle resulted in my m/c and I have never had problem again since. Sorry that probably doesn't help you at all - but thought I would share my experience.

Thanks everyone for your support re my endless scan results - much appreciated. Hanging out for the 10 week appt on friday now

[charm]

I feel relieved to have found this forum. I am new here i was 12 weeks pregnant monday 17.2.09 I started spotting, Tuesday i had an U/S and was informed my baby had passed away 3 or weeks previously, Wednesday I was booked in for a D&C. I feel like like it all happened to somebody else I feel so empty and desperately want to fall pregnant. It's been 10 days since the D&C and I am still bleeding does anybody have any suggestions when I can try again for another baby I was told 2 cycles but at the moment that feels like a lifetime away. I see the OB next week to find ot the pathology results and I feel scared .And then there is everybody making their comments (You already have two maybe it's meant to be) and telling there stories and I just feel like I want to hide from the world.

[boble]

babymiracles - thank you so much for your reply. the specialist we saw at the clinic was surprised by the fact that i was still getting the spotting after the m/c's. but she said if we wanted to get any more testing done then we would have to go and see someone else. Guess there is so much they can do at a free clinic.. but i am glad we can go and see her again when we fall pregnant again - and get the early scan.

if anyone else has any experience with this please let me know

thanks - Bel

[boble]

Charm - so sorry to hear of your loss. I am only fairly new here myself and found this thread a life saver! Please know you are among friends here.

the time frame as to when you can try again seems to vary gp to gp and specialist to specialist. After our first one we had a d&c and were told to wait one cycle, which we did. This time it has been a natural m/c and we were told we were right to try again when we wanted to. they did suggest waiting one cycle just so it was easier to work out the due date should we fall pregnant again straight away. We decided to try again straight away. a lot of people wait because they don't feel emotionally ready - where as other people like to get straight back to trying.

good luck hun

[mrzbaby]

I feel relieved to have found this forum. I am new here i was 12 weeks pregnant monday 17.2.09 I started spotting, Tuesday i had an U/S and was informed my baby had passed away 3 or weeks previously, Wednesday I was booked in for a D&C. I feel like like it all happened to somebody else I feel so empty and desperately want to fall pregnant. It's been 10 days since the D&C and I am still bleeding does anybody have any suggestions when I can try again for another baby I was told 2 cycles but at the moment that feels like a lifetime away. I see the OB next week to find ot the pathology results and I feel scared .And then there is everybody making their comments (You already have two maybe it's meant to be) and telling there stories and I just feel like I want to hide from the world.

Oh Charm.... DON"T TAKE ANY NOTICE OF THEM.
I have 3 beautiful kids and have had the same comments from my family, friends and even a midwife !!! It was our decision to have another as it was yours and your DH as well.
I had to have 2 D&C after my M/C the last one on Wed after a scan revealed more retained products and then a re-admimission on Friday ( just got out today ) with an possible infection ...( Don't know if I have one or not).
They told me to wait for 2 cycles as well and i have decided to just start trying after June ( if I feel strong enough).
I have days where I am just so positive and think lets just get back into this Baby dancing / baking then other days I am so so scared of going through all of this again i think no I will settle with my 3. We wanted this baby to complete our family..
Allow yourself some time to get you head sorted ( and your DH's as well)...I was like you wheeled back from surgery saying right i want to start trying NOW!.
Take the advice of waiting 2 cycles as my ob and the midwives have said your body needs that amount of time to 'recover' from the last preg and D&C, plus it lessens the risk of M/C as well. Apparently you have a higher rate of MC after a D&C if you fall preg before your first cycle.

I will be joining you on the ttc journey....

Smi.......Feeling for you and DH at the moment....hoping you both get employment soon. my SIL was retrenched last week...PS I still pop into our Belly buddies group to see how everyone is going... glad to see your all doing well.. Take care Em.

AFM: Well after the 2nd D&C on Wednesday I was back in on Friday with a possibnle infection and have finally returned home today!!! yay!!!.
I had the experience of after birth pains last night . OMG I have nevr had these before....OUCH! they just didn't give up!!.
Em

[Shortcake]

Hello everyone! Sorry I have just been lurking lately! My father had bypass surgery done on Wednesday so I have been very busy taking care of everyone and seeing him. He finally is home as of yesterday.

Ruthie- I am devestated by your news. May you find the support and comfort you need from family & friends. We are all here for you!

Be back later for persies.

[RhiChiChi]

Jen – Of course you can call me Rhi! Actually I quite like it. I love the little pic – hiding behind the computer, had a giggle!

Boble – what a crappy period you are going through. Seems like it is happening all at once, hopefully that means better times to come! Praying for your BFP! I didn’t know about the reading from ‘Ruby’ ??? Must be behind the times! OMG! How fantastic is that reading! I wonder which it will be??!!

Babymiracles – Sorry I can’t help with the spotting q, I haven’t experienced that. Such a mean thing our body does at times.

Charm – Welcome and sorry for your loss. I have only recently joined this thread but already feel like part of a family – I hope you can to! In relation to your q – I haven’t had a d&c but from most of what others have said, it is an emotional decision. I was told wait the two cycles after my m/c’s – I think that is more in case there was anything that my body didn’t naturally remove.
Insensitive comments like that do not help and who is to say that you should only be blessed with two children? I understand how you want to hide from the world – I was especially like that with my first two m/c’s. Your feelings are completely normal. Feel free to vent/rant away, we can totally relate.

Mrzbaby – Hope you are ok. xx

Hello to everyone else – hope you are all ok?

Look forward to ‘catching up’ with everyone else during the week

Have a great day
xx

[jen805]

boble--Sorry to hear about your insomnia, I'm experiencing a bit of the same since I've been sleeping with DS since his surgery! It's a bit like wandering about in La La Land! Best of luck with your tribunal, try not to let it stress you out too much. Never heard of Ruby, but saying lots of prayers that your reading is accurate!



Aww, charm, I'm sorry sounds so lame and insignificant sometimes... but for lack of a better term, I'm truly, truly sorry for your loss! I can't believe people can say such heartless and tactless things--although I think for the most part it's probably well-intentioned-- but honestly, I'd prefer people keep their mouth shut if they haven't been thru a m/c and don't know what to say! The last thing on earth you want to hear when you're grieving the loss of your baby is "maybe it was meant to be", or "at least you know you can get pg", or (and this is the worst!) "at least it happened now, and you didn't have a child born with defects!" Can you believe there's actually people cruel enough to say things like that? Please know that you are among understanding friends here! Allow yourself to feel whatever it is you're feeling--and don't feel ashamed for it! Feel free to vent, scream, cry, yell... it's all part of the grieving process that will help you heal and move forward. The other girls have pretty much covered it with when to TTC again. My dr. advised I wait for 2 cycles, and I didn't have a D&C. Only you will know when you're ready. Wish you the best of luck with your test results--you're in my thoughts and



Shortcake--Glad to hear your dad's surgery went well, and he's now home recuperating! He's in my thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery!



to Rhi & mrzbaby!



for my fishy friends megsmum & babymiracles (only 4 more sleeps 'til your scan!)

[jen805]

my Friday chat girls! mollycat, plc, fifi, & Krystie!! Miss you all! Angel, wish you were still here!



Toccara--Miss you stranger!



WTH--Hope you're enjoying your trip! Some for your journey--we miss you!



for Hannah & Mel!



Ruthie--Stay strong, hon, you can fight this! Thinking of you!

[RhiChiChi]

Hey all,

Just a quick vent as I can't concentrate on work because this is eating at me. I have just been told by my cousin her bf is pregnant and is about 16/17 weeks along. OMG another person I know that is pg. That is now 4 people due to have babies. It should be me! I should be announcing, not them! I feel like crap now. I truly thought I was getting over these feelings. I had to pretend I was happy for her (well I am) but **** - another person? Why is the universe being so cruel? The other thing is I'll be seeing her just before she is due to give birth cos she will be at my cousins 40th. Am over it. arrrrrrgggggggg. Sorry vent over.

[Tuesday's Child]

smi - I'm you and Lee both find work soon.

boble - Glad your results came back normal. If you're concerned about the spotting then it might be a good idea see a specialist. 7-10 days of spotting before AF seems like a lot to me, not to mention annoying. As stressful as it is, I hope the hearing gets sorted soon and goes your way. You certainly don't need the added stress at the moment. Goodluck.

jenushka - Yay for strong kicks Looks like you're back in charge of the zen-vibes around here.

jen - Am thinking of you this week. And its perfectly fine to wallow in self-pity if thats what you feel, but I do hope the weight of those supertrooper boots lightens for you soon.

babymiracles - Goodluck for your scan on Friday. Hey, have you ever heard of deer up in the Adelaide Hills? DH and I went for a drive last night up past Tea Tree Gully, and saw a deer on the side. We stopped and it just stared at us until we drove off. It was just really unexpected.

charm - I am so very sorry for your loss. I also had a D&C and waited one cycle before trying again, just so I could be sure my lining had built back up. As for unhelpful or even downright hurtful comments, I'm not sure there is anything that can be done. I just wish that people who haven't been through a m/c would just keep their mouths shut, but I have to remind myself that their comments are well-intentioned if not well-thought. Feel free to vent here when you need to because we all get it.

Em - Glad you are home again. I hope that you can just focus on healing now.

Shortcake - I hope your father's surgery went well and that he has a speedy recovery.

Rhi - I don't know what to say. It took me a long time to feel more happiness than sadness when I heard about someone else's pregnancy. And I'm not sure how exactly I got to this point, so don't know that I can help you get here. Some very special here once said to take one day at a time. We have to have faith that one day we will have our own forever babies. In the meantime, vent away. Maybe sometimes that is all we need.

Mel - How are you doing hun? I hope you are feeling better and the pain from your op is easing.

to everyone else.

AFM - I've removed my ticker since it went to CD1 and as far as I know, at this moment, it is day 29 of a 28 day cycle. I had a few cramps this morning after my shower, but have had nothing since. I'm AF doesn't show I have a busy day planned so will hopefully be able to keep my mind off of it. Then tomorrow DH and I will be going away for a few days since Wednesday is our 4th wedding anniversary. Not sure when I want to test. Am just playing the waiting game for now.