oh and the other thing he said to was that, i probably didnt have a m/c in 2003, as i had the implanon, he said its impossible to be pg on it! I told him that my dr said it is possible but not common and that the implanon was the reason i had the m/c, he said i dont think so bla bla bla, so now im doubting whether or not i had a m/c back in 2003, and he wrote down on his notes that it was a maybe m/c in Jan this year! like WTF?? wouldnt i know whether i had a m/c or not? Yes i didnt have bt in jan (i told him i did though to get him off my chest), but i did hpt's which i watched the 2nd line get fainter and fainter til it disapeard, i had my other Dr do an external exam, although i did ask for a ultra sound, she said as the bleeding has stopped, and i had no more cramping etc there was no need!
So basically this Dr is saying, i never was pg, im not pg, and by the looks of things i might not ever be pg!

I know i get the bt results tomorrow, but my heart is saying be positive and my head is saying be reasonable! So i dont know if i'll be upset by the bt results coming back -ive or not, I havent told Rick, thought i would wait until i knew the results of the bt before telling him, and say im not pg but they want me to go in for an ultrasound, as they want to check me out etc. That way i dont have to worry him about maybe pg maybe not pg, and then the ultrasound, atleast this way he'll know yes or no, and the ultrasound is just a precaution iykwim? I need his support for thursday, i know emotionally i wont cope. I get myself worked up too easily he helps me keep my feet on the ground.

Sorry about the long rant, but i needed to get it off my chest.
Thankyou for listening, and for your kind words

Tanya - Yes he is thorough, something im not used to, which is why i think it put me off a bit! I think you should go and see a Dr about your spotting if you are concerned about it, i know its hard worrying about being fobbed off etc, but i fell 100% better now that ive seen him knowing that he WILL have answers for me. Take Care of yourself, and thankyou. oh by the way sorry if sound like im having a blonde moment, but what do you mean by big follies? and cos my cervix is closed does that mean im def not pg?

Lisa - thankyou for your real kind words, i know that i will have a bubs of my own one day and it'll happen when i least expect it, thats just the thing, not that i expect it, but im trying to expect it iykwim?
I was hoping he would say, hhhmmmm sounds like your pg, let me test with my special xray vision goggles and tell you how far along you are! but i knew it wasnt realistic, i knew my chances of actually being pg arnt high, but i still had my hopes up iykwim? but not as high as they would normally be.
Thankyou again for your kind words, i will keep my head above water!
Take Care