Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss May 2007

[Leyla]

Hi Ladies,

Big welcome to imwiththedj, TTBP, Mel, Shoegal and Patience and so sorry that you have to join us here. I hope you find lots of support from us all.

Satya - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Hope you were spoilt rotten! You deserve it!

Bun - Good luck with the BDing, hope you catch the eggie this month!

Jenjams - Massive congrats!! That is fab news. Sending you loads of sticky vibes.

Well, am now CD 47 with no sign of AF. Went to the doc as I have been sick for the last few days. Got a blood test done just in case, and came back BNF (no huge surprise due to all the neg HPT's). Doc could not give any real reason why my cycle would be so long. My reg GP was not available so, had to see another guy. Broke into tears when the nurse took my blood. She was being all excited a positive that I was getting a test, but I just knew it would be neg and got quite upset. Felt like a total looser.
Needless to say, am feeling very very down about the whole TTC thing, and am sooooooo frustrated that my cycle just keeps on going. Have never had anything like it before and am totally lost.

[Sharon19270]

Hi to all the newbies here, I wish you weren't in this thread (I mean that in the nicest way possible LOL) it always seems so terribly unfair that we have to go through a m/c but I know that for me if it hadn't been for this place (and one VERY special friend) I wouldn't be coping. Hang in there, it does get easier.

Jenjams I am so happy to hear that the lines are getting darker for you and I will keep everything crossed (except during bd'ing) that it is your sticky pg
Lee that is so very sad about your little boy, it is wrong that he wasn't given the care by the staff at the hospital that he needed. I hope that you have a beautiful day on Saturday and that you catch your eggie.
Satya hope you had a great day.
Salt I really do hope that you get your bfp this cycle, i am getting very excited for you, when do you think you will cave in and test?
Bun LOL at dh making you "hug" your legs, you do know though that if you raise your hips too much the spermies can swim right past your cervix
thank you to everyone who asked after me, and i am doing fine btw, just needed a few days "alone" iykwim

AF has finally left the building, and I know I said I wasn't going to OPK anymore, but I just can't help it, so I think I will be buying some more *sigh* Salt, which brand did you use? I have also decided to start taking my (liquid) vitex again (as from tomorrow) and drink my 1/2 glass grapefruit juice because they are the 2 things i did differently the cycle I got pg.

Will be back tomorrow, sorry for doing personals for everyone, but there was way too much to catch up on

[Trying to be Postive]

Thank you all so very much for your warm and friendly posts... I wish I was not here too.. (in a nice way) ... but finally I feel like I have a place where there are lovely supportive people who know exactly what I am going through.

Your posts have all been so supportive, and have me feel better. I am relieved to see I am not the only one who hasn't O'd yet... I really hope AF arrives within the next week so hubby and I can start TTC again... I really cannot wait!!

I hope my body has recovered and we go back to normal next month.... and at the very least I will O!!

Sorry I have not replied to all of you individually..... I will get the hang of it soon, I am sure. I have been so overwhelmed by your lovely posts... thank you so much!

[pash]

Hi everyone, hope things are going well. Love the mammoth posts everyone so here's another one..

Happy Birthday Satya! Its nice that your work folk made a fuss with a cake. V sweet. Hope you had a good day.

Rachael - IKWYM, I struggle to keep up too. So much happens in a day to so many ppl. BTW were you temping before your D&C?

Bun - *Hugs* belated. Just read about you crossing your EDD. These shows should come with warnings! Don't know exactly what's happening over there with big brother & a girl who MCed, but it seems really heartless for a show to exploit someone's pain. I wouldn't like that at all. And how rude of the nurse at the clinic. You'd think her job would require more sensitivity.

But funny about the legs in the air business. I did read somewhere that lying on your back, pelvis raised and doing a cycling motion with your legs can help. Never tried it for fear of freaking out DH!

Salt - You're so close to testing! Yay! Be strong girl, you can do it. Got my fingers crossed for you. I'm try not to test until after I miss my period for 5 days. I think if I have a chemical pregnancy, I don't want to know about it. But I don't know if I can manage to wait that long.

jenjams - I understand that you don't want to get excited... but how can you not? Dunno, not there yet.

Heidi - Congrats about the wedding. Hopefully that'll keep you busy for a while. It must be tough though having a constant reminder that you're not pg like your friend. And frustrating cos you can't even do something about it right now. But maybe... you could be in the same situation as Lee.

Lee - you and your dh could always sneak off for quickie between the ceremony & the reception! I think that's really kinda romantic.

Shoegal - Welcome and I'm sorry for your loss. My AF returned 31 days after my D&C, which was my cycle before. But I don't really know the average. I hope it is short for you so that you can get back on the wagon.

Alex - Maybe the second AF will be heavier & maybe the second month you will have a better rebuilt lining? I read somewhere that heavier is better? Don't really know, but I'm sorry it didn't stick for you *hug*

Patience - IKWYM about becoming addicted to reading everyone's posts. I unsubscribed, cos I was spending too much time on it, but then found myself logging on to read it anyway.

About the green tea, my sister-in-law, who's a doc, stopped drinking it when she was ttc. Well chinese green tea anyway, because apparently it has a lot of caffeine. Having said that it is ok to drink 3 cups of coffee a day when pg. No idea about when ttc. But she doesn't drink any coffee so maybe it was just her choice, not a medical reason.

And with the low dose asprin, how does that help? My parents suggested I take it when ttc after my d&c (in a typical you could do things better kind of way, though not really, I think they were just trying to help, but I don't think I took it very well). I googled it & only looked at the gov sites and the BBC. I got the impression that it can be detrimental when ttc & in the 1st trimester. But is sometimes prescribed by Ob for 3rd trimester. And got the idea that you shouldn't take it unless prescribed? I always thought that aspirin thins your blood, so I thought that you wouldn't really want that when ttc?

About me - I'm trying really hard not to be nuts about all this. Before getting pg the 1st time, I didn't really pay any attention to all this stuff. Just went off the pill, cut down on alcohol & kept track of AF. Now, I want to temp, I want to test, I want to know what's going on, and I really want it to happen. I wish I could relax, and not care so much, like before. I just feel so neurotic.

Sorry to anyone I missed. Our pc is also our TV and DH is getting impatient

Good luck everyone.

[Sequoia]

This must sound totally dumb:

What's a chemical pregnancy?
What's a molar pregnancy?


newbie!

Selfish post about me - bleeding stopped yesterday, bring on AF!! Who knew I would want it so badly? Had a good day yesterday, but already had one cry today and I'm still in my pyjamas! Trying to keep busy so I am cleaning out my wardrobe.

[satya]

Quick note to Pash - green tea has 1/2 the caffeine of tea and way way less than coffee. So if you want to avoid caffeine it's far better to cut out coffee.... particularly the kind you buy in a real coffee shop - just one cup of that can put you into the danger area during pg.

Hey sharon - glad to hear you are OK.

At work so gotta go.

[Heybacko]

Just a quick post to all you serial testers out there.....

I haven't tested once since I got AF on Wednesday!!!
Hurrah, hurrah, I'm cured!!!!

Back later to do personals and catch up!!

Love Alex
xxx

[Bun]

Morning girls,

Shoegal - I am glad you are finding this thread helpful. You can ask whatever you like here! I cried every day for a long while after each of my m/cs, so you are quite normal there. A chem pg is when you get a positive test but then AF arrives a few days later - it's basically a very early m/c and apparently they are v common, and a lot of women don't even know about them, as it can happen when AF is due. A molar pg is... actually, I may leave that to someone else to explain, I think I know what it is but I'm not sure how best to explain it and I don't want to confuse you! They are v uncommon though - I think 1 in 10,000.

Pash - you're right, low dose aspirin should only be taken if prescribed, and usually would only be prescribed if you have a blood clotting disorder. It does thin the blood, so if you don't have a blood clotting disorder and were to m/c, then you could experience excessive bleeding, as your blood won't clot.

Salt - just remember, AF symptoms and pg symptoms are often the same! Not long now til you test - you must be going crazy waiting! Luckily DH didn't make me hug my legs last night!

Sharon - yay on AF leaving! I think it can be good to have some alone time - I hope you are feeling a little better now. Have you gone to see your dr? I hope DH's spermies didn't swim straight past their target the other night! Silly spermies - you wouldn't think it would be that hard to swim in the right direction!

Leyla - you must be really frustrated with your body. It looks to me like you may have O'ed 10 days ago, so just had a long cycle for some reason. I hope you find out one way or another soon - there is nothing more frustrating than trying to figure out what your body is doing and having long cycles when TTC!

Mel - welcome. I saw your other thread - you have been through such a rough time, I really feel for you. Has your OB done an endometrial biopsy? I have had nearly all of the recurrent m/c tests done too, and all has come up clear. It is so frustrating to go through this more than once when they can't find a reason! Are you getting any treatment as a precaution? I hope you enjoy being with us and we can be a good support to you. I find, and I am sure you do too, that there are so few people IRL who you can talk to and understand what you are going through, that finding these girls has been a god-send for me. I am hoping for a sticky bub for you asap!!!

Satya - I am glad you had a good birthday. I can totally understand your reluctance to see a FS again due to the disruption in your life. I am finding this monitoring is taking over everything and although it doesn't really make sense, it is also really emotional. It's like every time I have to get a BT done, it reminds me of what has happened and why I am going through this, and just brings it all back IYKWIM? It is really disruptive. I am not sleeping well because I have to be up early every morning for a scan or BT, so I wake up in the early hours of the morning thinking it is time to get up when it isn't, and I just keep doing that every night! By the time I get to work in the morning, I am exhausted! I am feeling so much better today because the monitoring for this cycle is finally over - last night was the only decent sleep I have had all week! Definitely go to a gyn if that will be less disruptive - you need to live!!

megsmum - you are nearly at the end of your TWW! Fingers crossed for you this month!

The clinic phoned back last night and said to BD last night and tonight, so I must have had the LH surge yesterday, meaning I may have already O'ed or am about to. They are also sending a pg BT form to have in a fortnight. So I guess now we just cross our fingers! I am glad we BD'ed the night before last too, even though the clinic told me not too - from some reading I have done, it looks like BDing before O is better as the EWCM can keep the spermies alive and waiting in the right place for up to a few days. I have had heaps of EWCM, so I am hoping it's doing its job! You know it's funny, before going to this clinic where they scan me and tell us when to BD, I was doing a pretty good job of knowing when I O through temping, and we managed to fall pg first go on the two times we tried. However, since being with the clinic where they tell me when to BD, we have not fallen for the last two months! So despite the constant BTs and scans (and paying $200 per month for the pleasure), I seem to have a better success rate on my own, without the intervention and for no cost! It seems that a lot of girls on BB who have been prescribed clomid are just told to come back in 6 mths if they're not pg, whereas my clinic's protocol is constant monitoring. I would understand that if I didn't O naturally, so they need to see what's happening, but I do O naturally, and am using clomid to hopfully reduce my chances of m/c, so it just seems really silly to me to go through all this monitoring. I have decided that if I am not pg this cycle, I am not going to do the monitoring next cycle. If they tell me I have to while on clomid, I will just tell them that I am taking a break, and will secretly take the clomid on my own and go back to temping. I have 12 mths prescription for it. I am just so sick of the disruption to our lives!

[satya]

Hi Bun,

When I was on clomid I did not have any scans or blood tests. I don't think they usually do that unless you are having problems conceiving. You don't seem to have an issue with that - your problem is in getting the pg to stick so I'd be asking them what the purpose of all the monitoring is.

I noticed you mentioned you've had heaps of EWCM. I've noticed since charting that I'm not getting much of that (although I remember I did the cycle that we conceived even though I was not charting back then). Are you doing anything to encourage that? I've been reading up on pre-seed and I think perhaps I might have to get some to give it a try as I think that might help me with that.

[Sequoia]

Thanks Bun for the explanation. Much appreciated.

I notice you are in Perth, what clinic are you with? I see Mike Aitken at Bethesda through Fertility Specialists of WA. I know how you feel about the BT's. I live 30 minutes from my nearest PathWest collection centre so lots of early mornings for me too.

Do you find it amusing that someone tells you when to BD?? It does take the romance out of it!

[kiwigirl]

Salt, I totally hear you on the "temping gives me something to do, something constructive to focus on while I'm doing all that waiting". Every morning I feel like I'm 1 step closer to a BFP by doing my temps. I obsessively look at the points on FF even if there's only a few points this cycle...

pash - I only ever have temped one cycle - in January - the first month I was trying to get PG in my life and the month I got PG.. so I have a decent track record with getting a BFP and temping

[Sequoia]

Saltprincess, I've only seen Mike twice. I have more contact with Hilary and Linda his nurses. We've only been TTC for a short while. They offered me a laparoscopy after my MC but not sure if I need it yet? DH has been tested and all is fine there, I've had loads of BT's and Mike told us we shouldn't have a problem TTC.

Oh, the main reason I am seeing an FS is because I had a high FSH level after coming off the BCP. All fine now, though FS said he would like to keep an eye on me.

Has anyone had a laparoscopy? Why?

PS - It seems like I have taken over this thread, I am sorry, so many questions. I promise, once AF arrives I will fade into the background....Good luck Saltprincess, I have my fingers crossed for you!

RANT! I posted on another forum that I'd had an MC, one girl replied "Oh no! You are living my worst nightmare!!!" Thanks love, that makes me feel sooo much better.

[satya]

Shoegal - I had a lap done years ago when my ex husband (husband at the time) and I were diagnosed with unexplained infertility afterwards. They found nothing wrong so for me it was a big waste of time. The op itself was not too traumatic but the blue dye draining from me came as a bit of a shock and I had a lot of pain associated with stitches.

Salt - I never thought of it that way regarding the EWCM after bding. We are very active in that department so that could be causing some confusion with me as well.

[kiwigirl]

Shoegal, I had a laparoscopy done with my D&C to check they hadn't perforated my uterus since I bled so badly in the D&C. I had occasional intense pain (when I laughed or coughed) for about 2 days after.. Wikipedia says:

Not all of the CO2 introduced into the abdominal cavity is removed through the incisions during surgery. Gas tends to rise, and when a pocket of CO2 rises in the abdomen, it pushes against the diaphragm, and can exert pressure on the phrenic nerve. This produces a sensation of pain that may extend to the patient's shoulders. In some cases this can also cause considerable pain when breathing. In all cases, however, the pain is transient, as the body tissues will absorb the CO2 and eliminate it through respiration.

[Bun]

Shoegal - don't worry, you haven't taken over this thread! Feel free to write anytime you like, and as much as you like. I go to Fertility Specialists at Bethesda too (Dr Hart) - and my main contacts are also Linda and Hilary! That's funny. I have found them pretty good to deal with until this cycle, as I really don't see why this monitoring is necessary, and I am so sick of the early starts! I live in Atwell, 20 mins SOR (without traffic), and getting BTs before work and having scans in Claremont before work is driving me crazy! The nearest path lab to my house is about 20 mins away too, so even on weekends I have had to do the early start and long drive... such a pain. I am glad they have sorted out your high FSH. About that girl on the other thread - yeah, nice, like that helps to lift your spirits! Grrr... Yeah, it does suck having someone tell you when to 'have intercourse', but I think I am getting used to it now, strangely enough!

Salt - I have trouble distinguishing semen from EWCM too. If I don't get pg this cycle, I am going to order some pre-seed and see how that goes. I really don't see the point in the monitoring. I have asked about it and they just say they do monitoring with all treatment cycles. I don't care - I am not doing it again, and I don't care what they have to say about it. It's a waste of time and money, and temping works really well for me. I thought it would be interesting to see what happens this month, as I knew the clomid might change my cycle, so I didn't really mind having the monitoring, but there is no way I am doing it again. Even DH thinks it's silly and doesn't want to do it again. I don't even have another appointment with my FS scheduled, my last appointment he seemed to think that the problem was solved, and took off before I even had a chance to ask him a single question. I suppose if I m/c again then I will make another appointment. I don't know why they told us not to BD on Wed night - we don't have any male factor IF. I think they just wait until they see the LH surge in your BT and then tell you to go for it. I reckon it's a good idea to have BDed before the LH surge so there is sperm there waiting, so I'm glad we did it when we did. Sometimes I wonder if the clinic really is offering the best advice - it just seems ironic to me that the only cycles we have been TTC and haven't fallen have been the cycles where they have told us when to do it!

Yay on being 9DPO - you are nearly there now! I know it probably doesn't feel like it to you, but you are so close and I reckon you have a really good chance this cycle! I wish I could skip past the whole first tri too. My friend has managed to do that with each of her 3 pgs! Even without testing, I usually know if I am pg or not because I get symptoms pretty quickly, so to me it seems crazy to not know for a whole 3 months! She has a prolactinoma, so doesn't get AF without meds, so she just needs to test regularly to see if she is pg, but each time has not figured it out til the end of the first tri! I don't know what to do next time I get pg. I know a lot of women get serial HCG draws done to check the levels are going up as they should, or some have an early scan. I am too scared to do anything and have no idea how to handle the next pg. I hate waiting for phone calls to give me BT results (I even get nervous waiting for the clinic to phone me in the middle of my cycle to tell us when to BD), and scans send my head into a spin, even a follicle scan makes me anxious; I can't even bare the thought of a pg scan! Argh - that's what nightmares are made of to me! I am hoping between now and then I will figure out how I want to handle it, but I probably won't.

Satya - I have always had heaps of EWCM, but I don't do anything to encourage it. I remember as a teenager getting sooooo much, but I never had any idea what it was! It's funny to think that you don't learn about this stuff (a lot of women never will). I am glad you agree re the clomid monitoring - unless we were having trouble TTC, I really don't see why it is necessary. As I have said before, the nurses just treat me like a patient who can't conceive and stick me onto the same protocol as everyone else, when I am on clomid for a totally different reason. They just won't listen to me, and my only contact is with them, not my FS (he only works a half day a week so is impossible to get through to), so it doesn't make things easy. One thing that really proved this and irritated me is that when they sent the monitoring BT forms, they came with an "Ovulation Induction" consent form for me and DH to sign, saying that we understood the treatment was for ovulation induction, and had had the drug fully explained to us, etc. That made me so angry - I am not on it for OI, and I have had nothing at all explained to me - everything I know I got from the net, not from them! And there is no way I am signing a form that is completely incorrect, so we didn't do it. If they make a big deal about me refusing monitoring next cycle, I am going to crack it at them and just flat out refuse.

[pash]

Bun - Breakfree from the clinic, run away, revolt, go into hiding, and hopefully go back next month pg and rub it in their faces. Or maybe just take a break?

Satya - thanks for the heads up on the caffiene. I'm an espresso drinker, so have had to make the switch to sawdust.. I mean.. decaf. Otherwise I keep imagining my little eggs hip hopping their way out of me.

Shoegal - I only looked up chemical & molar pgs yesterday! I've forgotten what a molar one is too though. I'm struggling with the concept of BD at a given time too! I'm only checking my CM, but even that works out too bossy for poor DH, who really just likes to go with the flo. Sorry if TMI.

Rachael - That's excellent that you were pg in one month before! I've got my fingers crossed that it all happens just as quick for you this time. Took me 5 months before, but I never worried about it. Now I feel desperate to be pg this month.

Salt - I am now 4DPO and checking my breasts in the work cubicles like a madwoman. I don't know if I can actually hold out, but that's my plan. It doesn't feel like there's much point anyway. My BBs are the usual, and peeing rate is usual too (yes I have been counting the pees and litres of water... no.. I'm not obsessive). By the way, you said I could whinge here, so here goes...

All you ladies are lovely in here, so you may not know what I mean with this rant. I've found myself really hating people who I suspect may be pg. Not the big obviously pg ones. In particular, my friend's girlfriend, who knows about my mc but never said anything to me about it, stopped drinking really conspicuously & abruptly. Didn't bother me at first, why should it? I'm not crazy(?). But then I started thinking, she knows something really painful & intimate about me, and she never said that she was sad to hear the news, she couldn't even share the fact that she is pg or ttc, she just blatantly not-drinks in front of me. And this girl was always plastered in the year plus that I've known her. Oh, why am I so crazy?

OK, really sorry about that. Have been feeling like a mean, nasty, irrational b1tch (not that I've said or done anything mean, except here, but just thought mean things). I guess I just have to accept that she's not my friend, just my friend's girlfriend.

On a more positive note, just booked a last minute trip to Brussels for the long weekend (Monday's a hol here). Going with DH, mate & mate's girlfriend (different one). I love Belgian beers though and am going to have to hold back, just in case I'm pg, even though I don't feel pg at all

So if I'm not back with posts for a while, its not cos I'm in a strait jacket in a white padded room somewhere. Actually, it could be that, but it'd be in Belgium.

BTW, what's pre-seed? Did i miss that somewhere?

[Heybacko]

Hi Guys

Sorry for the mini-hijack...

Has anyone heard from Maz a lately, probably nothing and she's glued to a sewing machine (or Jed!!) but I was a bit concerned she's gone quiet...

Thanks
Alex
xx

[cherie26]

Well I think I might officially introduce myself as I have just observed and asked a few questions when needed but I see how much support and encouragment you give eachother I hope it is ok if I join in too!
I have just started my second offical AF since my D&C and a long story short thought I was Pregnant last cycle with 5 positive Pregnosis clear HPT (came up before 5mins) that turned out to be false positives and had the full blood test to prove it. I felt like a bit of an idoit really because I think I almost convinced myself I was until the dreaded AF arriving. I have never felt so desperate to want to be pregnant since the loss of my little girl at 11.5 weeks and I never had any problems falling the last two times it happened straight away so needless to say I am devistated
I do have a question though? I have started using fertility friend and does taking your temps help to show when you will ovulate as last month I went through alot of fortel ovulation tests and still couldn't pick it up and I must of because I have AF?
I look forward to getting to know everyone better!