Mel1979 - I am so sorry for your difficulties. I shouldn't be so selfish when you have been trying for so long. Soul destroying is such an accurate description. I nev er thought I would ever be going on this journey. I would not have survived the last 5 months without my DP - he has been my rock and my life line. W are both so lucky to have such loving and caring partners. I am an emotional soul so letting the tears flow is not hard for me. I haven't been able to picture myself with a new baby yet - I keep imagining holding my Zacaray and wishing he was here. We wanted him so much and both our families were so excited to have a grandson whom they could spoil - it is just so unfair and I have that ever burning question of WHY? I hope 2009 is your year too - I know you deserve it and I will hold you in my thoughts and wishes every time I wish the same for us.
pl1805 - Thank you for your kind words - I had my "ugly cry" tonight - thank goodness I have such a wonderful partner as he just held me and let me go with it. I know what you are saying about hating - I hate myself for not knowing there was something wrong with Zachary, I hate my body for not giving me any warning signs and for not giving me my healty son, I hate the world for taking someone so precious away from me. At least we know there is hope and we just have to try and stay strong.
HannahD - I am sorry we are all experiencing the taunting of AF. I hope you have some joy and good news in your life soon. Maybe 2009 will be a year we can all celebrate in.
So ladies - thank you for giving me support - I really needed that. I might just take some time and shed a few more tears in bed tonight.
Theresa - You are not being selfish at all. We may have been trying for longer but you lost your little angel at 35 weeks. I was 6 weeks when I m/c and although it was devastating and the most traumatic thing I have ever experienced I can't imagine how you survived going through what you did.
Holding you and your DP in my thoughts and wishing the very best for you both. We have to cling to the hope that one day we will be celebrating the birth of our healthy baby with our partners and families.
HannahD - I too am angry at my body. I told my best friend the other day that I wanted to trade my body in for a new one!
plc - Thanks for hanging around in this thread to give us hope.
I 2009 is the year for us all - we all deserve some happiness and would all make wonderful mothers!
Theresa - Thankyou. I hope you have some good new soon too.
mumstheword - Hope you get your BFP!
jen -
Mel - Seems like you could do with a Hope you're feeling a little better today darlin'.
Indy - Hope you get some answers from the FS. In the meantime, enjoy Christmas.
maternalbride - I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't know how I would have gotten through the last few months without the women here. We offer nothing but support and love through your TTC journey - may it be short. Hoping your get a great Christmas present!
WTH - Hoping you caught that eggie!
For everyone not mentioned . Hope you all had a great weekend.
Just a quick one for me. Wanted to say thank you for all the engagement congratulations. I must admit it has been nice to have something else to focus on and take my mind of TTC at least for a portion of the time. Well today is the day - frostie transfer number two is happening this afternoon, so in about one hour I am off for acupuncture, then to clinic for transfer and then back for acupuncture. My pregnancy test is schedule for christmas eve - wow wouldn't that be a wonderful christmas present if it is positive. I guess a consolation if it is not is that I will be able to have a glass or two of alcohol over christmas and new year (although I would be most happy to be absteining if my dreams come true and I get a BFP). Sorry for lurking and not posting in last week - have been busy with wedding plans - can you believe that we only got engaged three weeks ago and i have already booked reception, ceremony, music for reception, and got my wedding dress - and we are meeting with celebrant tomorrow - not bad hey!
maternalbride (so sorry for your loss - your story is heart breaking)
Smi - congratulations - such wonderful news for you for an early christmas present. Wishing you the best of luck for a happy healthy pregnancy
Sorry for lack of other persies - but to WTH, Jen, Possums, Mumstheword, zacharysmum, indy, mannie, ruthie, hannah, plc, mel, fificlaire, tempus, polly, issy, megsmum, tam, mollycat, toccara, and anyone else I have missed
babymiracles... for your BFP in Christmas Eve...have fun wedding planning!
MaternalBride...so sorry you have found yourself here...you will find nothing but the best support from the wonderful ladies here...they have all been Godsend to me...
jen...*wavin* you ready for Christmas yet?
Paula...THANK YOU!!! Getting your card brought a bright smile to my face...I never got any addresses back so I didn't get to send any out BUT I have yours for next time around.
Alrighty ladies time for me to get my day started...
COLOR="Purple"]maternalbride [/COLOR] So sorry for you loss. You will find this thread will save your sanity. The ladies in here are wonderful especially Jen. I hope that the pain eases with everyday and that you get your miricale without anymore heartache.
Jen Hello I dont know how you find time to write your lovely posts you are so kind you always mention everyone, you are very thoughtful. Hope you enjoyed your pizza.
WTH Hi I hope you caught your and that you get a wonderful christmas present.
Zachary's Mom I know what you mean about those ugly cries I try to do them when hubby isn't home cause I dont want to scare him although he is very supportive. Dont be to hard on yourself I cant imagine how you must feel. Time does heal though so as slow as the days go just let them keep passing by
Babymiricales I have my and pray that you get a wonderful suprise on christmas.
smilanatu I hope all is going well sending you lots of sticky vibes. I know what you mean about pg symptoms. I am freaking out cause I dont have any either.
Mel79 I know what you mean about seeing heavily pg people and new borns it rips my heart out to. My best friend was pg the same time as me my first m/c and now she has a beautiful little girl we were only a week apart. Everytime I look at her little girl I feel so empty. I hope that you have a little miricale to hold in your arms soon.
To everyone else I have missed sorry.
AFM: Well still dont have any symptoms and starting to get a little worried. Spoke to the FS and he has booked me in for a u/s on Thursday but it's so far away. I am so worried I dont know if I am going to be able to handle bad news again not for the third time. I cant stop crying now just thinking about it
Issy02: I'm glad you found some relief with mediation. The stress level of ttc is indescribable.
jen805: Our school has a Secret Santa Shop, too, and the kids love it
Indy: with your referral--hopefully you get better results next time around. Sending cyberhug and
WTH: not sure about the breakthrough bleeding and egg quality. But that's a good question..."worked off a kilo"
HannahD: hope you had a nice visit with your family
Mannie2903: you're not a freak. not at all. Sending cyberhug
Mel1979: Sending cyberhug. Nobody here judges you for twinges of jealousy. It's perfectly normal. It sounds like you have a plan in place with your FS, with testing and all. Of course, IVF holds no guarantees (nothing does, I guess). and
Zachary's Mom: Aww, you sound so discouraged...sending cyberhug
mumstheword: Thank you for your kind thoughts. Just below the ribs sounds to high up for mittleschmertz. As for LP, I would advise you to test 14dpo. But also your phase is so short, you may want to check with your doc. Mine put me on progesterone for short LP.
MaternalBride: I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending cyberhug and keeping you in my prayers.
to you all
2009 is the year for us all - we all deserve some happiness and would all make wonderful mothers! 
I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't know how I would have gotten through the last few months without the women here. We offer nothing but support and love through your TTC journey - may it be short. Hoping your get a great Christmas present!
. Hope you all had a great weekend.
Sorry for lurking and not posting in last week - have been busy with wedding plans - can you believe that we only got engaged three weeks ago and i have already booked reception, ceremony, music for reception, and got my wedding dress - and we are meeting with celebrant tomorrow - not bad hey!
Hope your weekend was productive *wink*
BUT I have yours for next time around.
and that you get a wonderful christmas present.
with your referral--hopefully you get better results next time around. Sending cyberhug and 
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