I haven't been on for a couple of days, so many posts, I did a quick read but I get all muddled and confused.
If anyone has advice on how to reply to others posts without getting it all messed up I would apprieciate it.

Well today I am 12 days late, our last was on Sunday. I cried for hours, I was so sure this was the month. My DH gave me a tablet and put me to bed. He left me there and there I stayed til yesterday afternoon. I was still hoping that I might be and that all the hpt's were wrong.

Then last night we got some bad news and I am actually glad I'm not UTD(that is something I never thought I would say).

My DH's cousin had a US yesterday. Her little boy died in her womb at 27 wks 1 day. And the idiotic public hospital sedated her and sent her home, telling her that either today or tomorrow she would have to go abck to have him. I can't believe they sent her home. They don't send you home at the private hospital, and they definatly don't muck you around with what day you will be going through labour.

I feel so bad because I was so jealous when she told us she was pregnant, i was happy for her but oh so jealous.

Yesterday I nearly emailed her to say we had brought her the rocker she wanted I am so glad i didn't.

I am releived I have gotten 's because I would have felt so guilty if I was UTD.

Why do I feel like I have just lost my 's again ??? Why am I absouloutly devastated for her, I know it's normal to be upset but I am more than that. I haven't stopped crying since last night, not even when I took my boys to school. I don't know why I am acting like this, but I can't snap out of it.

I am thinking about sending her mum a cd with the song we used at dominques memorial and a couple of other songs that have meaning incase they want to use them. What do you guys reckon??

When I found out she was UTD I told my DH we would have to buy her something really good, that was my way of coping, doing something nice for her made it easier for me to deal with. Now I just wish I could stop her from having to go through this.

Sorry for going on so much, I just wanted to talk to someone!

People always say life wasn't meant to be easy but they never said it would be this dam hard either!!!