HI guys
sorry this is going to be a relativly selfish post
i got my re****s today... i have to say if anything it has made it all so much harder. There was nothing wirng with me, there was nothing wrong with Kyarna, there was nothing wrong with my placenta... THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG... i am so angry and hurt and sad.
the report did however point out how traumatic her birth was and she had a few things happend to her little body after her death because of her birth. quick story, my cervix closed halfway through labour and Kyarna was stuck half in and half out. Her little arm had come away from her body due to this. I am so angry because i knew i saw it and the midwife lied to me. she may have been doing what she thought was best but i knew what i saw and i asked her about 6 or 7 times and she lied to me EVERY time... i thought i was going crazy, that i was seeing things and it was just her lieing to me..
so yeah thanks for all who gave me your wishes, but they didnt help this time.. i just really cant understand why my perfect little girl had to die, when i did everything right... i know logicaly that it wasnt my fault but i just cant help thinking maybe i could have done it different..