Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss ~ June/July 2010

Hi Lovelies,
Mathews mum - So Sorry your embie didnt get comfy, xxxx
Kellbell - Snuggles are the best :), they have the most beautiful smell!
Dory - Life is strange isnt it! Edd are always tinged with sadness for what could have been, all your angel babies will be helping you get through the following months xxx
Dampyre, Reet, Iona, forshelby, and loops, I hope you are doing well!

AFm - Had a huge BDing Bonanza over the weekend, lots of chaffing and knob burn :lol:, so now im nearly a week into the tww and dont feel like anything is happening, getting pretty frustrated,FX though
Had a cry yesterday after seeing a woman a few doors down (we used to be friends) she is huge and due the same week i was, couldnt help think of what couldve been :shakehead:
DS keeps asking me when we are going to get a baby sister for him, which also is making me a bit emotional.....Think Im getting the dreaded flu, I really dont like having a blocked nose!
xxxx

Forshelby - it's good for the soul to be lazy sometimes....

Kellbell - hopefully chick -a- dee.

hi girls,

im just popping in to say a quick hi.....there is a lot going on with me, none of it good, more problems with my family, got an abusive hate filled email from my brother yesterday and today i sent a letter to my dad explaining to him what had happened the day of the fallout as from what my brother said my mother has completely lied to them about what happened and i wanted him to know the truth, the other thing that is bringing me down is today is my due date for my first miscarriage that i had at 9 weeks.....sigh.......i hope july brings good news for a lot of us here, sorry for lack of personals......

Oh Minnie - thinking of you for your EDD.... not such a great way to commerorate with the email from your brother. I am so sad for you that your brother decided that sending you such a hurtful email was the way to manage the family conflict. I am sad also that he chose to be so passive aggressive about it. You can't "unsay" things, but particularly those that are written.

Remember though, as hurtful as the email is, it says more about your brother than it does about you, although I know it doesn't seem that way right now. Just sit with your hurt and anger and don't respond. You need to focus on you right now. Maybe in time when the hurt has had time to ease you can consider making contact with either your bro or mo, but best to leave well enough alone right now. That's what I think, but I am not such a great fan of conflict..... if your style is different, do what feel right, just take some deep breaths before you do. GL.

Kellie - Congrats to your friend, that's so lovely. Glad you got some snuggles, too. To answer your Q, half a dark line is still a + as long as it's the whole line top to bottom, not top or bottom half only. Mine are always darker on the left side of the line.

Iona - Thanks for the pg vibes, lol. Sory about DP's friends, but I totally understand needing distance. One of my friends at work was pg at the same time as me, and although I miss her terribly, I was secretly relieved when she moved away and left work. I don't know how I would've gotten through work every day watching her belly grow and mine... not. Just remember when it comes to friends, quality over quantity is better. :) How's your little man going?

Damprye - It's so good to see you happy again. Yay for the tww and well timed bd!

Matthews mum - Sorry about af arriving, but you're handling it all so well. Hooray for getting straight into another fet cycle! I hope this is the one!

Reet - Looks like my 'well behaved body vibes' have kicked in for you! I told you I was putting out the vibe for you! yaaaayyy... lol. Oh, and that's great you've got ewcm FINALLY. Enjoy it, girlie. You put that DH of yours to good use. Not that I thought you wouldn't be....... if only I could get DP that randy. LOL

Dory - Happy anniversary to Amelia. :( I hope today wasn't nearly as painful as you'd expected it to be. I know how tough 1st anniversaries can be. And I agree it is good for the soul to be lazy sometimes, but sometimes I over-indulge a bit!

Bons - Yay for knob burn, LOL..... Oh and you're almost my cycle buddy. I don't blame you for having a cry after seeing the lady a few doors down. I know how hard stuff like that is. And I know it's hard having DS asking when he's getting a baby sister all the time, but just imagine his little face when you can finally give him the good news. :) Hope your nose un-blocks soon too, lol. I can't think of many things more annoying.

Minnie - Your brother sounds like a real idiot. Sorry. I'm shocked he'd abuse you like this all because you want more babies, and your family are judging you for that. It's as if they feel like it's their decision, not yours. Luckily it's none of their business, but I know it doesn't make it any easier to deal with their dysfunctional ways. Hugs to you, hun. Good for you sending a letter to your dad. Sorry about your EDD anniversary today, sounds like an all-round crappy day for you. Let's hope the only way is up for you now :) And I completely agree with Dory. Hurtful words stay with you for a very long time. I don't know if you'll find this helpful or not, but I always used to say to DP when he got into one of his moods 'Turn TO me, not away.' Perhaps your family needs to hear something similar. Hope things get a LOT better for you really soon, hun.

AFM, Having a few weird things going on... but trying to ignore them as it's most probably not my month. (don't ask me why, I just feel that way) I'll put them in a convenient list form for you all, and particularly my stalker Iona. :)

-the same as last month
reasonably tender bbs
blood nose in the mornings? (weird)
crampiness, slight lower backpain
sciatica
vague blech feeling starting today

-NOT the same as last month
more tired than I can explain
cm all over the scale. From dry, to lotiony to watery and back to dry all on the same days
really wanted mushrooms (I normally hate them and dp has to hide them in my food)
and the big one.............. I SWEAR I saw some spotting today.

I keep questioning the spotting thing though. Sorry for the TMI, but it was like a few tiny brown specks. Later in the day (while checking obsessively) I saw a tiny speck of red, and since then pretty much nothing. Cm has had a yellowish tinge for the last couple of days, but today it seemed like the lightest shade of pink at times. It could just be my imagination, though. Who knows.

Anyway, that's enough rambling from me. I should probably go and make an attempt at cooking dinner, despite asking DP repeatedly if he would cook tonight. Oh noooo heaven forbid you have to cook one night of the week! HMPH! Men! lol...:wall:

I hope everyone is doing well, and this is the last time I'm going MIA... too hard to catch up! Sorry if I missed anything, or anyone. Thinking of you all.

Oh I forgot to ask my question. If I o'ed 2 days late does that mean my luteal phase will only be 12 days long? Or will af come 2 days later than the calendar says? I want to know when to start doing the happy dance if she's a no-show. LOL

Thanks, girls!

Forshelby- OMG!! How many days past O are u???! oh lets hope its implantation bleeding! To answer ur question.. i think ur af will come 14 days after u O'ed.. i think! Not totally sure tho. Yay yay yay!! We need some good news in here.. hasnt been any in a while now. :) :)

Minnie- Sorry to hear about the nasty email and ur bubs anniversary :( things can only get better for u xxx

Bons- Yay for chaffing!! lol. Sounds like me the last few days! When are u testing? or are u just gonna wait til af is late?? Is dh still home or has he taken his sore knob back to work for some recovery time?? :) haha

Hi Dory- Thinking of u :) have u got a scan coming up soon?? hey do u know if its a girl or boy??

AFM- Well since i dont know when i o'ed cos i never really got a + opk i dont know when we can maybe have a break from bding! not that dh will let me anyway. But i just much prefer afterwards to get up and 'clean up' or have a shower or something.. getting a bit sick of trying to hold it in and not move for hrs!! haha bit over the top?? i think so!!! im too scared to lose any of it tho!!
Hey i have a question too.. does anyone elses lower pelvic area get tender during O time?? For the last 2 days i havent been able to touch anywhere around that area or if i bump it on a table or something it hurts.. its really strange! Its like from one hip bone across to the other hip bone. I have no idea what else cld be causing it.... I havent ever heard of anyone else saying its happened tho so it probly has nothing to do with O time. hmmmm who knows!!
xx

oh forshelby, I have my FX for you....just remember I didn't have much symptoms last month but then.....xoxox

oh this ttc journey - it's so hard to not compare month to month, mwah sweety

quick one from me as I run out the door

EWCM this morn - we didn't get a BD in last nite too buggered, mark is sick, I was way tired as was up at 4:30 and crashed as soon as my head hit the pillow, bring on tonite!!!

will be back later for personals

I had EWCM too and my DP left for work early instead to play table tennis instead of making a baby we had a huge fight - men sometimes you could just throttle them.
My parents are coming tonight so this was prob our last chance for the month so i don't think we've done enough to catch the egg i feel like rubbish today :cry:

Sorry for the downer ill come back later...

Forshelby - I can't answer any of your questions..... but have everything crossed..... how many DPO are you and when are you thinking you'll test?

Kellbell - hugs sweetie - this stuff is hard. Hopefully you'll squeeze in a sizzle before your parents arrive or maybe even once they've gone to bed..... sneaky sneaky. GL.

Reet - Just bad timing with you being tired and Mark being sick. It just hurts so much and is so frustrating. Thanks for asking after me. The day was ok in the end. Not what I expected but I did do a lot of thinking which was probably good for me. Not sure when the next scan is... a growth scan is coming up. And gender is going to be a sweet mystery until the big moment. DH and I agree on this and always have. I was going to have a non diagnostic scan and have a secret women's business day of it, but life has intervened for my Mother and MIL and I am not sure they can come now as both have to travel a fair distance to come and have sick people at home to care for. But maybe I'll still invite my Aunt, cousin and SIL, her partner and their daughter. But I really wanted the grandmas to be part of it. I mean, they are from a different generation where this technology just didn't exist, and I want them to have a tangible emotional connection and not just some abstract idea. I might have to call them and just see if they can do it. Weird that people make the effort for a funeral almost without hesitation but I haven't actually given them the chance to say yes or no yet... so I should just wait for that.

Bons - hope the chaffing is improving :) Poor bloss.

hi all,dory & minniemouse-hugs,thinking of you & your heavenly bubs...kellbell-hope you can squeeze another one in,maybe sneak out to the car...bons-hope your ds gets his wish soon,i think sometimes we want it for them as much as we want it for ourselves,my 4 year old says things that tug at my heart strings as well...ionamacca-hope all goes to plan tonight...damprye- fingers crossed for your tww...reet-around o time i usually get pain in one side,hope your about to or already have caught the egg....forshelby-af should be due14 days after o...afm-thanks ladies for all you kind supportive words,bt's due to start on the 9th

Just a quickie from me..
U wld never believe it but before i went to bed lastnite at about 9.30 i thought what the hell I may as well do a opk.. i wanted to see no line so i knew O'ing was defintely all over and guess what!! There was the darkest line ever!! It was even darker then the control line! I was shocked! I really wasnt expecting it.. i dont think DH was either.. i think he was really looking forward to his night on the couch watching movies.. instead he was dragged to bed! I finally now understand how it can be looked upon like a chore.. thats exactly what it felt like last nite. Especially since i wasnt expecting it.. so i hadnt paid dh much attention all day (oops!) it felt like i was kinda using him!
So let the bd bonanza begin!! (FINALLY!!!) Been full on practising for a whole week now.. Golly gosh!
If we dont catch the eggy this month i will be extremely disappointed.. we have given it our all plus more!! Maybe we are giving too much???!
Anyway hope ur having a lovely day.. xx

Reet - what a lovely surprise... another week or so of sizzles. You're not giving it too much.... just think of the "war stories" you can tell in the years to come about your BD marathon.

reet-so glad you decided to do another opk ,have fun,don't worry about dh,a girl's got to get a bit when the timings right...

Hi girls!

Reet - I'm 9 dpo today. I think af is due on Wednesday then, assuming I'll have another 13 day luteal phase. I'm really hoping the slight spots (and I mean VERY slight) are a sign. Yay for an unexpected +OPK too! I was shocked at the timing of mine this month as well. I'm sure with your DH's sex drive he didn't mind 'being used' this time. Hehehe. Also, it's ok to clean up afterwards, you can still get pg. That's how I got pg the first time, not doing any acrobatics after the deed, just going about things as normal. Woman on top position was pretty much the norm at the time, too... so just goes to show that bubby was determined to make an appearance, if only for a little while. I get a tender lower pelvic area too during and after O, but it just feels tight across there. I'll let you know if it hurts if I bump into anything at random. lol :)

Iona - I'll be checking out your symptoms from last month for a bit of a re-cap when I'm finished posting. Not that it'll help anything, but I can't resist. LOL How's your bonanza going? I hope you get some good quality bd in since you have ewcm. Yay!

Kellie - Men! That's tough. Could it be that maybe he's feeling the pressure? Of course I know very little about your personal situation so I could be way off. Just putting it out there. I hope you're feeling better soon, and really hoping you o later than expected and catch that eggie. Makeup sex perhaps? hehe..

Dory - As I said above, I'm 9 dpo today, and already resisting the urge to POAS! I think I'll wait to see if af is late or not before I go wildly peeing on sticks. :) I think! I hope your mum and MIL can make it to the next scan, that's a lovely thought to include them like that. I'm sure they'll be happy to join you!

Matthews mum - Good luck with your bt's! I personally hate bt's, and cringe at the thought of them, so I really admire your strength at going through so many of them! When I was pg in 2008, I was so nervous about my bt that I was sweating and feeling faint. By the end, I had the hang of it, but still can't bring myself to look or think about what's going on when they do them. Do you have any specific tips in that area? Or are you just super tough and not afraid of needles? :)

AFM, feeling kinda strange today, too... but of course trying not to get my hopes up. I felt ill after a disgusting self indulgent 'breakfast' at my desk today... which consisted of a piece of quiche and an aero bar. That Aero bar nearly sent me over the edge... I felt really sick after eating that. By lunchtime though I was ravenous again and felt pretty okay after eating then. Other 'symptoms' are as follows.

bbs feel more tender today, bra is killing me
still dizzy and off balance feeling
slightly gaggy
light cramps and back pain on and off
Another TINY spot in cm!
I think I'm peeing a little more, but am not 100% sure of that yet.
extremely tired and yawning all day.

I wouldn't have even noticed the tiny tiny speck of 'reddish orange' had I not been obsessively checking at every opportunity. I er... had to really search for it. LOL, sorry for TMI! I don't know what it could be as I never ever ever spot except for the day before af. And that spotting is always just pink cm. I call it 'pinking'. LOL...... Still not sure what to make of all of this after last month's disappointment. Just trying to take it all one day at a time. I'm dying for Wednesday to come and go so I know if I'm pg or not.

So the agonizing wait continues.

forshelby-hope it is implantation spotting,other symptoms sound promising.no i don't like bt,especially when they have to chase veins in my hands because the ones in my arms go on strike,i hate the thought of not having another baby a lot more though,so i think about the big picture,make conversation & look away

omg forshelby, I am sooo quietly jumping up and down on my chair......how can I hang out another 5 days!!! I so hope they past so quick for me oops I do mean for you hehehe!!!

Reet - yay on the +opk last nite, FX that you caught that eggy

Matthew's mum - hope this cycle is urs too and hoping the bt's don't take too much out of u

dory - how are you going my dear, welcome to the third trimester. Now don't go over straining yourself and treasure these last 3 months.....the one thing I missed when I'd given birth was my baby belly :(

murraycod - how are you going sweety?? when is your next scan, you must be close to the magic number!!

bons - oh where are you, hope you are ok!!

Hi to everyone else...

AFM - more ewcm for me this arvo and looks like I got myself a + opk. I've decided after this cycle if nothing happens that I'm not going to follow my cycle or do opk's and just take it as it comes....

Matthews mum - That really resonates with me. I agree it would be harder not having another baby than having bts. Sounds like you do exactly the same as me. I try to distract myself, and just try not to faint. :)