Abbey - there is nothing wrong with you. I think for men to perform almost on command would be difficult and a turn off - you are not the turn off. I know that sometimes this is how my dh is (as he was last night). He didn't want to dtd b/c he was over the pressure of performing on demand and we have been just going through the motions for me to fall pg. Even I am having difficulty enjoying sex, b/c in my mind I am doing it ultimately for a baby, whereas I should also be doing it to be close to my dh. I gently reminded him that there is such a short window of opportunity to fall pg, but I left it at that b/c I think neither of us would have been satisfied last night. IYKWIM. So, we have agreed tonight we will be dtd, but I will try to make it not just about dtd. I will try some flirting and mucking around prior to bed time.
I don't think in your heart you want to give up, but maybe just for the moment put it on hold (harder to say than do) and go back to enjoying each others company - it doesn't even have to be having sex. What about making like a date night? - ie: dinner, & a movie & just talking - not even about a baby, just chatting like he is one of your friends. (or whatever is enjoyable for you & dh) This could lead to sex, but it might just take off some pressure for you both - I assume you feel the pressure of dtd to give yourself a chance of falling pg? Maybe dh is also picking up your feelings of just dtd for pg and this is turning him off? Do you have a relationship where you can talk about the feelings of ttc? This is difficult for me & dh as I am highly emotional and tend to hold back then blurt everything out.
I don't know much about pcos, but one thing my gf did was cut back on sugar & I mean she was so strict that she even limited herself to natural sugar (fructose etc...). This seemed to help with her cycles plus she lost a fair bit of weight (she was fairly overweight). Not sure what the meca powder does. Can you consider clomid when you have pcos? I read last night a thread that Nicilic started in Feb 09 (?) She has pcos and has changed her diet and this has reduced her cycles - the last she quoted at 30 days, but I didn't take much notice about O. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you PM'ed her for more info....
Abbey, you are not alone in this - this is something dh & I are encountering atm but I am trying hard to not make it seem like I only want to be with him for a baby. So hard for the likes of many of us since O is hard to pinpoint; you just want to dtd to not miss the small window of opportunity to fall pg
Hugs babe xx
Oh Abbey, I'm so sorry you and DH are having a rough time . But there is nothing wrong with you. I think you'd be hard pressed to find a man who could think of sex and babies at the same time. Perhaps your DH just wants you to want him.
It wasn't until I'd come off the pill that I'd realised how much my sex drive had been affected by it. DH loved the fact that I actually wanted him again. Then I miscarried and now I'm being treated for depression. For months I 'endured' sex so as not to miss an opportunity to fall pregnant. But one day DH said to me that he missed his wife (well, actually his words were "sex goddess" lol) and I realised that I had been treating him as little more than a sperm donor. Now I make an effort to make sure he knows I love him and that I do want him. Its not easy though as the months go by and there's still no baby. I try to remind myself that I should be enjoying the time DH and I have together now because a baby is going to change all that.
I think Rhi's suggestion of having a date night without any expectation of sex is a great idea. It sounds as though you and your DH need to reconnect. All the best hun.
Hi, I am new here, but belong in this thread after m/c my 1st baby (IVF) 2 weeks ago. I am still devastated and am off to see a grief counsellor next week as I am having a hard time functioning. Of course I am seeing beautiful pregnant women and gorgeous babies everywhere I go. Every ad on TV seems to be about babies or families.
My DH has been wonderful but I know he is hurting too and just trying to be strong for me.
Sorry for the lack of personals but I hope to get to know you all and be able to post more individually soon.
Possums, not sure who you are seeing in Newcastle, but I am through Hunter IVF and they are wonderful.
ohh... wow. I had a little teary moment then reading your posts ladies!! You dont understand how much it helps me to know that there are other people out there who are experiencing exactly the same thing as me. I was truley ranting last night and this morning i see a little clearer and have a better view on it. to you for helping me out!!!
For now it seems that i am not ovulating any more (did see some EWCM yesterday morning and night, but now, back to almost nothing) so i am not going to push the DH to dtd with me again. If i dont fall this month then i know why...
Thanks again!!! you really are whats keeping me sane!
Charm I really feel for you with your cousins actions being so raw to what you have just gone through, the name thing would be bad enough if she had just 'stolen' your name and you weren't pregnant yet but to have lost your little one is even more devastating I am sure she didn't do it on purpose but really.... "what was she thinking!!!" like many others have said, people just don't think a lot of the time! On that note Jen, it happened to you too....... What are the odds???
Mel1979 thanks for the reminder that we can still be grateful yet desire to be a mother... It seems so incongruent sometimes, I am so insanley happy with DH and my life it seems so crazy to be sad for even one second....
Abey LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to you honey so happy you have a brighter outlook today, the girls have given you some great advice. We have been TTC since Sep 08 (so not that long) and it was only in the last cycle (where we got the BFP) that DH said once "you don't even really want to, you just want a baby" and it was shattering to hear... I decided in that moment that I was going to keep a close eye on my chat and make sure I only instigated dtd when I had a pos OPK stick and my cm was fertile... I also decided that I was going to instigate dtd looooooong before my fertile days and days where there was no chance we could conceive so that he knows I wanted him NOT just to make a baby. Having said all that we had an absolute marathon in that month we did get the bfp, but it didn't need to be that way, luckly the night that counted was a really intimate session IYKWIM so I was happy it wasn't like all the other baby making sessions where we were both tired
sallyk61 so happy your service went well for little Lilly xoxoxo
Andy welcome to our group, you are amoung friends and I am so happy you have joined us to share the journey together
coco I too love Pac Fair, haven't been there for years but I used to live on the GC and was a frequent shopper... I have decided to go to the plaza tomorrow and do some shopping... I am the heaviest I have ever been (totally depressing) I lost 100g sitting on my butt all week which is better than a gain I suppose, so I need some new clothes... Just a few and a new handbag! I am looking forward to that tomorrow
"LORD, does it ever end"? Today I was feeling heaps better emotionally after chatting with DH last night and physically a bit better 2 than a huge headache started coming on about 4 hrs ago and wont budge!!!
to everyone else and I hope you are all doing well... to all!!!
so the preliminary results have come back clear so not downs, or trisomy 18 or 13 (fatal ones) so waiting now another 8-10 days for full results. Don't know what to think now I guess its probably a more structural problem e.g. heart etc, so just waiting.... Thankyou for all your support so far.
Happy Saturday to my gorgeous bb'ers from Oz! I'm so happy it's Friday for me, and the work day is done! I had to be at DS's school at 8 to help with Spring portraits--I score a free pack of portraits when I help, so I always work on picture day! Then had to work the lunch shift afterwards, so finally got home around 1:00--and starved! Then back at 2 to sell Smencils. So I'm done for the day and ready to catch up! It's after 4, and I don't know what we're having for dinner yet, but I don't care--it's bb time!!
andy--I'm so very sorry for the loss that brings you here. I pray that you find comfort and support here among us--you're surrounded by the most caring, supportive, understanding women I've ever been blessed to meet! I hope that the grief counselor is beneficial in helping you come to terms with your loss, and we'll be here for you as well, to cheer you up and cheer you on your journey!
Abbey-- That's what we're here for! We actually DO understand how much it helps to be surrounded by others that feel the same as you....I think we've all felt that overwhelming relief to know that we're not alone in our grief, struggles, and stresses that come with TTC. Not that any of us would ever wish this upon anyone else, but it certainly helps you feel less lonely--and in my case, less of a freak! It's amazing the way the girls here can practically finish your sentences for you, because they just KNOW what you mean without ever having to put it to words! I hope you have a great weekend!
coco--Sounds like heaven! Enjoy yourself, you deserve it! *hugs*
cherished--There's an endless supply of people that just don't think before they speak on this vast Earth. The odds.... hmmm, well, Hannah is a statistician.... what are the odds, Hannah, of a cousin thieving the name that you want?
erybery--So relieved for you on your preliminary report! *hugs* I'm for a miracle on your next set of results!
Mel--You did dob yourself out! But given my forgiving nature, I'm going to pretend that you didn't forget about little 'ol me!
charm--I was looking into follicular phase length last month, and one of the things I read said: "Ovulation can occur at anytime within the first phase (follicular phase) of a woman's cycle, which can be as long as 21 days. Once ovulation has occurred the second phase, (luteal phase) begins which also can last between 7 and 21 days coming to end at the onset of menstruation, and so the cycle starts again." I had been worried last month that at ff said I O'ed on CD11, so I looked into it.... it doesn't really specify which days, if any, are too early, so best of luck for this month! Hope you caught that eggie!
sally-- Thinking of you and your little angel Lilly!
boble--Just wanted to let you know that I think you have to have a minimum of 50 posts in order to leave someone a PM. Also wanted to say thanks for sharing your story--sometimes it's the most embarrassing ones that are the most helpful to others!
Have to actually run for a few, but will be back to help you with your ff ticker! Will also finish persies then!
Ok, boble--If you've already got a chart on ff, then go to "menu" (from ff), then "sharing", then click on "home page set up". There should be a link there that you will copy.... then on bb go to "user profile", then "edit signature" (which is what you did when you made your signature). Anyhow, under your signature, you then paste the link there. You can do a preview first to make sure it worked properly. The only thing is, I think you'll have to change your sig from 4 lines of text to 3--check the guidelines first to make sure you don't get an infraction. Yay, a new chart for me to stalk!
cherished--Glad to hear you finished your antibx, has your pain gone away? At least now that you're going to start charting, you'll know how to add your chart to your sig! This would make 2 new charts for me to stalk! Hope you enjoy your retail therapy--the only time it doesn't help make me feel better is when I'm broke! I can't stand window shopping--I'd rather not even go! Who the hell invented window shopping anyways?
mrzbaby-- Sending you lots of AF vibes, AF vibes, AF vibes, AF vibes, AF vibes, AF vibes, AF vibes, AF vibes, AF vibes, AF vibes....
lol) and I realised that I had been treating him as little more than a sperm donor. Now I make an effort to make sure he knows I love him and that I do want him. Its not easy though as the months go by and there's still no baby. I try to remind myself that I should be enjoying the time DH and I have together now because a baby is going to change all that.
you really are whats keeping me sane!
I am sure she didn't do it on purpose but really.... "what was she thinking!!!" like many others have said, people just don't think a lot of the time! On that note Jen, it happened to you too....... What are the odds??? 
to everyone else and I hope you are all doing well... 
to all!!!
I had to be at DS's school at 8 to help with Spring portraits--I score a free pack of portraits when I help, so I always work on picture day! Then had to work the lunch shift afterwards, so finally got home around 1:00--and starved! Then back at 2 to sell Smencils. So I'm done for the day and ready to catch up! It's after 4, and I don't know what we're having for dinner yet, but I don't care--it's bb time!!
I pray that you find comfort and support here among us--you're surrounded by the most caring, supportive, understanding women I've ever been blessed to meet! I hope that the grief counselor is beneficial in helping you come to terms with your loss, and we'll be here for you as well, to cheer you up and cheer you on your journey! 
for a miracle on your next set of results!
I can't stand window shopping--I'd rather not even go! Who the hell invented window shopping anyways? 
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