Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss ~ March 2009

Thanks for the big welcome girls :grouphug: And hello babymiracles! So nice to see another familuar face (so to speak) and good luck with wedding.... it is not far away now :dance:

Yesterday I got totally motivated after I posted and came up with an eating plan to loose those kg's I put on while pregnant 'and' to loose the extra 5 I was carrying before I got pregnant so I figure I will go for an even 10kg :) I really tried to loose 5 before getting pg (with no success) but I can't say that I 'really' tried hard enough... I kept saying in my mind, "I'm just going to put it back on again when I'm pg so I will wait for the BIG effort after having the baby" BUT after being pregnant and putting 3kg in what seemed like over night I wished every day that I was in better shape before I got pregnant... SO now I am more determined than I ever was before! Perhaps this is some sort of silver lining in my very dark cloud... If I were to achieve this goal I would feel so amazing as loosing weight has been a goal for about 3 years! Having said all of this I know that loosing heaps of weight may not be the best for TTC however I spoke to the OB on Monday and they said that 'really fast' weight loss was not great but eating well and moderate excercise can help not hinder so it may be a win win all round...

Again I've written a novel!!! SORRY :redface: I guess some part of me feels that if I declare my intentions I will be held accountable which can only be another motivator :)

Hope you are all well.... Geeee I love the ticker thing! Can't wait until I am back in a cycle and can get another one hehehehe :loveshower:

Hannah - Even though none of it is ideal sounds like you really are putting the things in place you need to so GOOD LUCK with it all.
I hope you have an amazing time in Melbourne and enjoy the well earned break!!

Cherished - Glad your giving yourself goals and feeling more motivated.

Mrzbaby - Im so glad you have found more positive light with TTC. Sounds like you have so much love to give, I wish you all the best!!

Im starting to get very excited, not that I have even started my cycles again...
We have preseed coming and acupunture today. I'll let you all know how it goes this evening.

Im starting to think April is going to be a great month for lots of us!!

xxoo

Just an update. Went to the Ob today who did another scan. Its even more clear now there’s a problem, even though its hearts beating, its moving around and waving its arm and is exact for dates!
I am having cvs testing next Wednesday to see if its chromosonal or not. My ob suspects its trisonomy 13 or 18 which is lethal so therefore would have a medical termination but there is a chance it will come back normal, though its something else like cystic hygroma or a heart thing which means it will die in early infancy. He said because it was picked up so early and its so severe at an early stage the chance of it being a normal baby is incredibly slim. He sees this type of thinking maybe once every 2 years. Just so upset at the moment. If we choose to leave it then after about 15 weeks I have to give birth and he wouldn’t do a ceasor because of the risk to my uterus since I already have had enough problems falling pregnant and keeping babies. So just doing more waiting now…

hi lovely ladies in here...haven't been around much since my last loss. Just been so down, and still am really, but we are TTC again naturally for a while, before resuming IVF if needs be, so I thought I should pop in

erybery- so sorry for the stress you are going through. life is really unfair. thinking of you

mel1979- sounds frustrating for you

cherised- my heart goes out to you...so sorry for your loss

hello and all the best to everyone else...

afm- as I said at the start, am very down- just not bouncing back very well this time round, but TTC again now

Cherished - so glad you found this wonderful supportive group of women. Just take one day at a time - definately allow yourself a couple of days off work. Thanks for asking about the wedding - under 4 weeks now - OMG so much still to do - but getting excited. Went and looked at ceremony site the other day and it is just beautiful.

Erybery - my heart is breaking for you. :comfort:

Possums: I am so sorry to hear you are feeling so down (although I imagine if I was in your shoes I would be feeling that way too). You take care of yourself. Me going to have a belly belly break but please if you ever want to private message me I will be looking at those. :hug: :comfort: You are in my thoughts

HannahD: thanks for thinking of me sweetie. All is going well besides my usual anxiety issues. I hope you are doing okay and praying that you get a BFP soon

jen: my fishy friend. praying you get your BFP soon. Although I am going to take a belly belly break you will be in my thoughts and when I pop back in a few months time I am so hoping you will be in PAML thread. :hug:

Mel: fingers crossed that AF not showing up is a good sign. Take care honey

To all the ladies going through difficult time at the moment - hang in there - dreams do come true. Most of all be kind to yourself - ignore anything unhelpful that anyone says to you (which they will :rofl:) and lean on those who understand and can be a support.

As indicated above all is going well for me despite being rather a worry wort! I have decided, however, to take a few months break from Belly Belly. This doesn't mean I won't be thinking about you all though and when I come back I expect to see that most of you have left this thread for the pregnancy threads.

I also want to say thank you so much to all of you who have provided my support and comfort since my miscarriage in september last year. You have helped me get through a very difficult time.

Oh and hey when I come back I will be a married woman! - less than four weeks till big day - very excited.
:grouphug:

Hello to Jen, Fifi, Molly, Plc, HannahD, Boble, Mrzbaby, Charm, Rhi, Megsmum, Smi, Mannie, WTH, AJC, Ruthie, Baby miracles, Jackjack, Elisa, Theresa, Karen Van, Erybery, Meh, Issy, Indy, Mel1979, Cherished1, Sally61, Possums, Shortcake, Chappas, Easha, Kazaraz, Abbey, Naenae, Smi, Jenushka, Bulies Greenslw, Mannie, Tam, Tutmae and Kristy. Please if you are not on this list let me know for I am trying to keep up and get to know everyone and I figured the first step was getting everyones names. :grouphug:

Eliza & Mel- it could be just a wittle too early for a BFP. My fingers are crossed for you. :SAAF:

HannahD- Just keep chugging chugging chugging Just keep chugging chugging chugging

Erybery- :pray:

Jen- Here's hoping you had fun trying to catch that egg. It's nice to know someone somewhere is getting some lol.

Cherished and Possums- I am so sorry you have had tp join us. I hope your stay is short but helpful. :hug:

AFM- 8 days late, but have turned into an evil evil woman so i think AF is lurking GRRRRRR dam her!

To those wanting it... heres some
:bluedust::pink-babydust::SAAF::goodluck:

Hey there everyone sorry for being MIA!

I am 12dpo today and no af and no bfp so Im ambiguous as to what to expect at the moment.

How long was your first cycle after your m/c? This was my first pregnancy that didn't to go plan and not Im unsure (as everyone else probably was the first time) as to what will be happening. I don't know about the feelings Im having like ovulation pains or something going on but it isnt like the begining of AF. I dont want to be overanalysing every little thing and I can't belive Im back to this point after trying for 12-18 months and finally seeing the little second line and a little heartbeat :(

My temps are still high and they've spiked again today so im hanging out to see it drop or see a bfp argrgrhhrhhh!!!

How is everyone else feeling about their cycle? Mummy_of_3 have you tested??? So exciting!!

My Luetal phase is normally 12 days according to my past tests so Im waiing with baited breath..as Ive said like 4 times this post..Ok im going now. Having a little meltdown here..

cherised1 - Glad you are feeling so positive and determined to look after yourself. Goodluck with the weightloss.

sally - Goodluck with the acupuncture today. Let us know how it goes.

erybery - I'm so sorry hun :comfort:. I really don't know what to say. My heart is breaking for you that you have to go through this. Its just so cruel after everything you have already been through. But I am still :pray: for a good outcome. Slim is not impossible.

possums - Good to see you're back but I'm sorry you are feeling down :hug:.

babymiracles - Since you are taking a break from BB, I will offer my congratulations on your wedding now. I hope you have beautiful day :dance:. I'm glad things are going smoothly and that they continue to do so :hug:.

MO3B - I'm hoping AF is not on her way - she should realise by now that she is not welcome. 8 days late though! Have you POAS yet? :noaf:

AFM - I saw my doctor and have gotten a script for Zoloft. After posting last night, my mood took a downhill turn and I feel absolutely wretched today. I'm not happy about the decision to start meds - I feel like I'm admitting defeat. But I'm so tired of fighting.

Eliza - We must have posted at the same time. AF took 5 weeks to return after I had a D&C. Hang in there though. It may still be too early to test.

Question...Would it be unreasonable to ask for a blood test at 12dpo?

has anyone ever done that first cycle after m/c to take the ambiguity away? Im thinking of doing that..

Hannah: I didnt have a d&c I had a "labour" from the tablets that they give to full term women to induce labour. No surgery or anything so when I had a scan a week later and they said it all looked healthy.

Just having a cry to mum on the phone, the days between crap days are getting longer and longer so when I have a bad day it really hits me.:crying:

Hello everyone,

I too have been MIA. I'll try to catch up, but it'll take me longer than this post. My apologies for my omissions....

Hannah - choosing to take medication is not admitting defeat, but being proactive in finding the solution that fits best. Please don't be discouraged. I hope that you start to feel more in control very soon. Thinking of you.

erybery - my heart goes out to you. :hug: I work in early intervention with children with developmental delays and disabilities. Sometimes we see children at work with terribly long lists of 'congential malformations' that were detected before birth and despite these heavy labels, the children themselves do magnificently. I'm hoping with all my might that your small person might be an exception to what your specialists seem to be saying at this stage.

babymiracles - I hope I haven't missed you. Good luck for your special day. I completely understand the need to look inwards leading up to a wedding, particularly as you nurture your growing small person as well. Take care.

coco1411 - I've learnt the hard way how much bad days can leap out unexpectedly. I'm glad you have your mum to cry on the phone with. Hang in there, it really does get easier. To answer your other questions, our m/c was a natural one. I bled for 7 days, and counting from the day of the first day without bleeding, I went straight back to a 24-25 day cycle. I hope this helps to clarify where you can sometimes count from. I guess I was just lucky (???!!) that my body was able to clean itself and settle back into a routine again so soon afterwards.

karen van - I'm so hoping the cooperation between body and spirit kicks in better this month! Thank you for popping in to give us a pep-talk. :)

AFM - I've kept a low profile since AF arrived (on time) last week. I spoke with a friend on the weekend who used to be an infertility nurse and is a midwife. We're going to try to go with her advice to "go to bed to have fun, not to make babies". I'm not sure if I'm even going to do OPKs this month. Maybe we might just wing it? Last month was a bit stressful with our small boy being sick, and TTC, so maybe the low key approach might work for us?? I feel like I need to try some different approaches so I don't go nutty counting days and second guessing the 'best' time to BD. I'm into my wheat-free, dairy-free diet, and noticing a difference all over and in my head-space too. Maybe the synergy of spirit and body is coming closer??

Hope I don't sound too loopy! :redface: I might not post very often, but putting my thoughts together to 'talk' to you all is quite cathartic. Thank you for listening.

Take care,
M

Just a quick post from me today......

erybery - :hug: I wish I knew what else I could say :( but will still hope that somehow everything turns out OK.

babymiracles - I hope you change your mind about the break, but if you don't then all the best for your wedding day! I hope you have a lovely day and stay positive above all, you are doing so well!

Big :grouphug: to everyone else especially those who are having a rough time :(

Hay.
I'm new here and am wanting to speak to ppl in the same situation as I am. I don't know anyone else that has so I've got no one to talk to that understands.
DP and I have been TTC for 9months, been together for 2yrs and suffered 1 m/c together.
I've had 2 m/c at 6wks and 1 m/c at 8wks...2 of which were missed m/c and required d & c.
Every month I'll think I feel something and get excited only to have AF come along which seems to get more dissappointing each time.
Had numerous tests done and have seen a specialist only to be told that everything is fine and I need to suffer another m/c before they will investigate more.

Mandy 20 and DP 19

Hi
I posted a reply on this thread a while ago now but it doesn't seem to be showing up.
Help plz.

>TTC after recurrent M/C
>Hi. I?m hoping to chat to people who are or have been in the same situation as me. I don?t know anyone that has had trouble conceiving or that have suffered m/c so I have no one to talk to about it so I?m so glad I found this site.
Feeling more hopeful since reading other posts on here. A lot of strong and courageous people on here.
>TTC for 9months
2m/c at 6wks and 1m/c at 8wks, 2 of which were missed m/c requiring d&c
DP and I have been together for 2yrs.
Had numerous tests done by GP and all came back normal now specialists says I need to suffer a 4th m/c before he will investigate further.
Every month I?ll think I feel something and will get all excited only for AF to arrive arghhh so frustrating.
>Thanks

erybery - I'm so sorry hun :comfort: What Hannah said is right though, slim is not impossible. Thinking of you.

coco - I had a natural m/c and my cycles pretty much went back to normal except for the last few months, I seem to have a really long cycle then a normal one! I know it is easier said than done but try not to drive yourself too crazy (although I do it to myself every month :rolleyes:). Hope you get your BFP.

Hannah - Choosing to take the meds takes courage and is in no way admitting defeat. Maybe by taking them it may lift your spirits and the positive energy might just help you get your BFP. Look after yourself hun :hug:

meh - Sounds like a good approach. We tried but I am not very good at not obsessing unfortunately :redface:

MO3B - I know how you feel - I am 5 days late today. I hope you get an answer soon - preferably a BFP!

babymiracles - Well I will wish you a big :confetti: now! And will throw in some :stickyvibesgirl: for good measure!

Possums - Oh, sweetie. I can't imagine what you are going through :comfort:. I am glad you have found the strength to keep trying. I hope you get your forever baby soon.

Sally - How did the acupuncture go?

AFM - Well 5 days late and still no AF. Called my FS today to get a blood test done as I wanted (and needed) to know before we went to Melbourne. It was negative so this month isn't our month :( It was always a long shot the first month after the op. Well, I intend to go to Melbourne and shop up a storm. Going to let my hair down and do out dancing and have a few drinks too! I am not a big drinker at all but I think DH and I deserve to spoil ourselves and relax and not worry about things. I'M kind of sick of being careful about everything I do or eat or drink, it doesn't seem to be helping.

Big HELLO to everyone else. Sorry for lack of names, need to go and pack and start dinner. Will try to pop in later.

Hi everyone and a big hello to coco1411, another of my lovely October belly buddies :hello: I am so happy to find you here (in a weird terrible kind of way...but I am sure you know what I mean)...

I think it is totally ok to ask for a blood test at any time especially if you have a good relationship with your dr and they wont mind reffering you... In my december cycle I was about 13 days late for my period (which never happened) and I got a blood test after being 10 days late... I felt like a bit of a looney when it came back negative because I really thought I must be pregnant... Than after that disappointment I did get pregnant in the Jan cycle and as you know was over the moon about it.... Only to be VERY disappointed again 2 days ago :( BUT I am totally excited about TTC again and having a healthy baby as as possible :p er do it's natural thing or to have the curette I am booked in for on Friday

erybery I am so so sorry for you honey, hang in there we all love you xoxo :hug:

Mel1979 I will be right there with you next month and here's hoping for a positive result for us all!

meh you don't sound loopy at all! Not sure what methods you girls have chatted about in the past but I know accupuncture balanced my hormones really well and prepared me for concieving, I am planing to go back a week or so after my op on Friday...

HannahD I really feel for your depression... although you don't know me from a bar of soap and my opinion may not be welcome but there is no defeat in getting help for 'any' problem in life and the medication does not haveto be a permanent part of your life either... But for now it could be just the thing you need :grouphug:

mummy_of_3_boys I thought the PMS monster was rearing it's ugly head before I got my positive pg test, so there is still hope!!!

Possums Love and good vibes to you honey... Keep trying and loving eachother along the way xo

Hope everyone else is going great :)

AFM I'm feeling like I'm coming down with the flu and feel sick again... I am sure come Sunday I will feel much better... I've got 5 days off work now so I will have fully recovered by the time I go back to work.

"blah"

I went to the Clinic yesterday and got BT again (I have horid veins and I'm over being pin *****ed) my HCG is still 10 not <2 which is silly but it means another test next week and another week of waiting till next FET. I'm over waiting, I know I shouldn't be so impatent but I am. :doh: This is me usually and I don't think TTC is doing me any favours. My very kind but clearly miss guided nurse said "oh if you don't have anything else on in another month give us a call and well have a plan" Anything else? What do you think my focus has been for the past 2 years? :wall:

Are all IVF clinics this dumb? or is it cos it's a public hospital? I'm really thinking of going to a private clinic. Any thoughts would be welcome.

Think steam out of ears ladies, I need to calm down.

I also spat it at work today. My college deserved a chat but not a snap. Need a holiday.

:

---

We bought a new bed too!!!!!! LOL.... My DH just didn't get it why we needed one but I told him ours is over 150yrs old ( its and old anitques cast/ brass bed) and we need a new bed with no one elses vibes on it.

Yes the AF dance sounds like a great idea.. PLEASE EVERYONE SEND CHARM AND I SOME BIG FAT AF VIBES!!!!!
I told my mother today about the TTC thing again she laughed so hard..No less than two days ago I told her no mre wait.. he still smokes etc... and how i got the script...she just laughed and said i was hurt and emotinal and its amazing how an ultimatum can work sometimes to bring you back into reality...I am still really scared but I am not going to let it dampen my TTC thoughts or efforts...Doc seems to think things should be OK this time!.

---

Thanks mrzbaby you just gave me the first smile for the day gee and it's 8.00 pm sad huh but thanks and we will do that dance together and get our af.

Erybery- I am so sorry I hope and pray all works out well for you life can be so unfair.


:bluedust::bluedust::bluedust::stickyvibesgirl::
I hope every body else is doing okay.As for the af after D&C today it has been 4 weeks still no af 2 weeks ago my ovaries were very sore so I am hoping they are not so far away goodnight everyone take care...

Good evening ladies.

erybery- Nothing really helps now. Thinking of you.

HannahD- its actually harder to go down this path, its a lot more confronting and you are doing it so you should be proud of how strong you are, even though it doesn't feel like it now...

Mel - Went well. Had a slightly crap day so I think the next time I will feel a bit more positive!!

My wonderful, caring mother is sending me nuts. :angry: I She keeps speaking to everybody she knows in the medical field about when I should start trying, as she obviously isn't happy with us trying start of the next cycle.
Her reason is that I was past 12weeks when I was terminated.
I wish I could just get a straight answer, I dont want to take any risks but if we wait its atleast 2 months of waiting that is IF my cycle starts in the next 2 weeks. :crying:

Hey all,

Only a quick visit to say hello to all and will be back for persies tomorrow. Had a bit on today and have only managed to have some down time now.

Take care, am thinking of you all

xx

meh - Glad that the new diet is making a difference. Good on you for sticking to it! I hope a more relaxed approach works for you - it certainly can't hurt.

Mel - Sorry about the BT results :hug:. I hope you have a great time in Melbourne. You so deserve to let your hair down.

cherished1 - Thanks for the encouragement. I hope you feel better soon. Good on you for taking some time off. Goodluck for the op on Friday

greenslw - What a stupid thing for that nurse to have said! Vent away - its better to let it all out. :hug:

sally - I'm sorry you're mum is being frustrating at the moment. As good as a mum's intentions are, sometimes they just need to be told to butt out (nicely of course!). Deciding when to TTC again is a very personal decision.

AFM - Thanks to everyone for your support. I was just so determined to do this on my own. I thought the therapy would be enough. But when I feel low, its very difficult to challenge the thought patterns I've had all my life. Maybe the meds will allow my mood to lift enough so that I can then work on changing the way I think.

I do have a question for those who chart though. I've had 5 days of watery/EWCM (sorry if TMI) so DH and I have BDing like there's no tomorrow. Today my cervix still feels high and soft and my temps are still low, but my CM has been creamy. I've also had a few O pains today. So I'm guessing ovulation has happened or will happen very soon? Thoughts? Unfortunately, when my mood takes a dive, so does my sex drive. How on earth does one feel like a wanton sex goddess on a Tuesday night? :lol:.

Hi Ladies,

Thought i would pop in and say hi.

Havnet done a persies post in a while, i just find it so hard to keep up. I do check in every day tho to see how you are all getting on and :pray: for :bfp: for you all.

I feel that i shouldnt be posting in here anymore now that i have my bub on the way, i fell that you may think that i'm rubbing it in. I feel guilty for posting. I :pray: for you all to get that special bub that you deserve and we can close this part of belly belly down and everyone move over to PAML.

Love you all ladies especially my Friday girls! Fridays arent the same if we dont catch up!
Jen, MO3B, Mollycat, Krystie; PLC and not forgetten Angel - my special girls! (notice your names are in your typing colour on fridays :dance:)

Well i think thats enough from me today.

Hope everyone is ok and a massive :grouphug: from me xxxxx

:

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Hi Ladies,

Thought i would pop in and say hi.

Havnet done a persies post in a while, i just find it so hard to keep up. I do check in every day tho to see how you are all getting on and :pray: for :bfp: for you all.

I feel that i shouldnt be posting in here anymore now that i have my bub on the way, i fell that you may think that i'm rubbing it in. I feel guilty for posting. I :pray: for you all to get that special bub that you deserve and we can close this part of belly belly down and everyone move over to PAML.

Love you all ladies especially my Friday girls! Fridays arent the same if we dont catch up!
Jen, MO3B, Mollycat, Krystie; PLC and not forgetten Angel - my special girls! (notice your names are in your typing colour on fridays :dance:)

Well i think thats enough from me today.

Hope everyone is ok and a massive :grouphug: from me xxxxx

---

Fifi, I am speaking from my own personal opinion but I am sure others will agree.... you are not rubbing anything in. You make our happy ever after seem less far fetched. Love you too snooks :hug:

I just logged into facebook and was looking through the usual updates from friends etc you know? And then I see the one thing I could NOT hande today after an especially difficult day...One of my husbands friends fiancees has posted pictures of an ultrasound of their baby which I didnt know existed on to her facebook...To see that was like a bullet ripping through me and tearing me apart or blowing my heart into oblivion. I am feeling so jealous & reaaaally ANGRY right now that I should be doing that, i should be that far along that I have pictures to post to show my friends.

I have been crying all day feeling depressed and angry:angry: and resentful having lots of "why me"'s and "what did I do"'s although I know it wasnt anything I did....

I need a lifeline here, i feel like Im in a deep muddy hole and I cant get out. I still have no sign of period and the last test I did was negative. I am 12 dpo and Im not testing anymore, just waiting to see what happens and Ill be able to see with my temps anyhow and checking my CM..:noaf:

Hope you all had better days than I have.

Love Eliza:cry:

:2ww:Sucks!

Mel & Cherished1: Hi and thanks for that Info!! Im sorry to hear bfn but the melbourne trip sounds like a great one!!! Will be good to get it off your mind! Shop for me while you're there please, I love shoes and Im a size 9 ;)

Cherished1: You physically just made me cry. Im so sorry to hear about your loss, we were both unsure from the start though werent we? Im sorry you're in here but at the same time I just felt so happy to see your name :hug::hug:

We can go through this together and grieve together. It sucks so much that NOTHING said can ease the pain. (I know everyone is in the same boat here in saying that..)

Belly Belly has been my saviour, I quite literally couldnt go through this without it.:heartbeat:

fificlaire- Please stay around. You give me hope and I love hearing how you and bub are doing!

HannahD- Big :hug:! I pray that the meds help you. And remember depression is a chemical imbalance and its not something we can always fix ourselves. Hope you catch that eggie!

Rhi- Hope your day is going well!

Sally- I honestly think the waiting period depends on yourself. My OB told me that as soon as DH and I felt ready we could try again. They usually want you to wait one cycle so they can have a better EDD but she said that there is no added risk. I hope this helps.

Greenslw- Vent away! We are here to listen and support you hun.

Cherished- I hope you feel better soon. Rest up on your 5 days off.

Mel- Hope you have a good trip. Sorry about your BFN. You and I are in the same boat right now. Have fun shopping.

Mandy- Try posting again. We have a new thread every month and you might have posted on last months thread.

meh- Sorry to hear AF arrived. DH and I have decided to have fun and stop "trying". Hope you get your BFP soon.

Coco- :hug:Sorry to hear your having a bad day. As for you question I had to have medication to bring AF on after my m/c. And I took the meds and got af and now I"m back to square one with no AF and no BFP. I pray you recieve AF soon and things return to normal for you. As for the feelings at seeing your friends ultrasound pictures that was one of the worst things for me. A girl that I know is due right around the time I should be and it kills me looking at hers.

MO3B- Sending lots of :noaf: vibes your way.

Babymiracles- I hope your wedding is beautiful. You will be missed if you decide not to post in here. You and bub are in my thoughts.

Possums- Big hugs for you! I'm sorry you are feeling so down. I hope you find comfort here.

Erybery- Good luck on your scan Wednesday. You and bub are in my prayers.

Mrzbaby & Charm- sending you both lots of AF VIBES! I pray you both get BFP soon.

Jen- How are you doing?

AFM- Still no signs of AF. I called the DR and they said to give it 2 more weeks and see if af arrives. If she doesn't arrive by then they want to run tests. So for now DH and I are BDing just for fun. I'm not going to chart or test of any kind. Just packing things right now and trying to keep busy.

To anyone I missed sending lots of baby dust & sticky vibes!

I've self-declared myself guilty of being a big fat lurker! :redface: Just didn't get around to posting yesterday.... have to get DS ready for school, but then I have no plans this morning, so will be back to catch up! I have so many posts to read thru! :jawdrop: I did want to tell Mandy, tho, that I checked your profile for posts that you've made, and you posted in the TTC 6+ mo's #1, and in the TTC after recurrent m/c threads. However, you're more than welcome to join us here--we would love to share your journey with you! :hug:


Promise I'll be back later for a huge mega-post! :grouphug:



Also had to say fifi--Don't you dare leave us! :hug: You're always supportive and positive, and you would certainly never rub anything in our faces! I'll :angry: at anyone who says otherwise! :rofl: Luv ya bunches! *kiss*

Holy cow, I had like 4 pages of posts to read and catch up on! Not sure if I'll have time to get them all done now, but here's a start!



coco--Aww, hon.... :hug: remember that even though it doesn't seem like it, those feelings of jealousy, anger, sadness, the "why's?" and "what if's?".... it's all part of the process that you have to go through in order to grieve and heal! I'm so sorry, I know that doesn't make it any better for you--but I know for me, I felt like those feelings made me feel completely inadequate because I didn't realize how normal, natural, and necessary it is to have those feelings! I know what you mean about bb being a savior--it's been my lifeline.... more of a home than even my real home, because it's truly the only place I feel safe enough to express my feelings and emotions without making anyone feel uncomfortable. About your AF question, I bled for 7 days with my m/c (natural), then had a short 25 day first cycle. My 2nd cycle was my longest ever at 31 days, and AF stuck around for 6 days, then gave me a break for 1 day, and came back for 5 days of spotting. 3rd cycle was 30 days... my norm now is usually 28 days, but just wanted to show you how different it was for me every month--it definitely took my cycle a while to figure itself out! :rolleyes: Anyhow, hth, and hope today is a better day for you!



mrzbaby & charm--Sending you tons of AF vibes! Picture how ridiculous I look doing this d@mn AF dance! :rofl: mrzbaby, I'm glad that your last D&C was finally successful--third time's a charm! I'm glad that your OB appt went well--and super excited that you're giving the Clomid a go! Best of luck! Maybe the Clomid will give DH some incentive to quit smoking ASAP!



sally--Hope you enjoyed the acupuncture, and it works as well for you as it has for the other girls! :hug:



boble--You need some :hug: I hope today is a better day for you!



:hello: and big :hug: for Rhi!



Ok, just those few took waaaaay longer than I thought! Will have to finish the rest later. DF is starving, and it's a minimum day at DS2's school (always on Wed.), so have to grab DF's food before I have to be at the school to sell popcorn and smencils! I haven't even showered! OMG.... promise I'll be back to finish later!

Morning my lovely friends :grouphug:

coco1411 thanks so much :crying: I feel so much emotion and comfort from your words I don't know what else to say xox

I'm sure I've missed heaps of chat since I joined but I noticed on the post jen805 made that she talks about feelings of jealousy, anger, sadness... I am so relieved they are normal! The day after I found out we lost our bub I crazely went to work... One lady started randomly talking about how I needed to have private health for when I am in hospital having babies and went on to describe how awful it was in a public hospital for some of her friends.... After finding out the day before that we lost the baby we were deciding on Tues or wed if we would keep our higher private cover as we have already had it for 18 months and it costs so much money... than not knowing how long it would take to concieve and then having it for another 9 months after we conceive etc... AHHHHH it just seemed so unfair to spend so much money with such an uncertain future... I am rambling now! Anyway we decided to keep the cover because the OB we saw on Monday was SO wonderful under the circumstances we wanted to have him when we do get pg again :) Then I thought about all the pregnant mums we have coming in and all the clients who come in and ask me if or when I am getting pregnant (which happens almost every day)... GOD it is soooooooo painful!!! I came home and said to hubby "I am never asking a woman if or when she is having a baby"! I am so thankful I don't do that anyway because you never know if they have experienced what I have just been through... I was so looking forward to telling the other pregnant ladies (some of whom are just so lovely) that I was due in October :( Now I just get to see them bring in their babies instead :crying: I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about?

Anyway I have a question for everyone as I look to the future and TTC concieve again... Is there a standard sort of time frame it takes to get your period again after a curette / mc? Just want to prepare myself.. Thanks and I hope everyone has a great day :p

Hannah--You are NOT admitting defeat by taking meds to try to control your depression! :hug: Like Shortcake said, depression is a chemical imbalance--and you've said yourself that it's something that you've been dealing with for some time. You've given it every ounce of effort to manage on your own, but sometimes things like this can't be managed on our own.... and like cherished said, it's doesn't have to be a permanent solution! I took Zoloft in the past, and I have to admit that I called it my "happy pill"-- I truly think that it was something that was beneficial to my needs at the time, as I started taking it after my first 3 m/c's. We do what we have to do to feel better--not only better, but just to feel human sometimes. I think you're not only courageous, you're dedicated to making you dream of a family come true! If you were defeated, you would simply give up.... you're more determined and dedicated than ever--that's a positive achievement that you should be proud of! :clap: I wish I could somehow get you to see yourself in a different light than you do--the way WE all see you, and the way your DH sees you-- you really have so much to be proud of yourself for! Maybe the meds will help that sink into your head! :rofl:

Good morning ladies,

I think I should of been far more positive about the acupunture, I slept so well last night, still woke up tired but Im thinking thats only because I have 2.5 weeks of terrible sleep to catch up on!!

Shortcake- Thanks for that. DO you mind if i ask (Im sure you have already said it) but did you have a d & C?

Hannah - STay strong and trust your decissions. xxoo

Coco - I totally understand. And the worst part is it 'seems' so unplanned!!! This friend of ours who is a total party girl (and either I wonderful actor at being the 'drunk; girl or didn't know till a few weeks ago) just announced too. I go from hate to just 100% sadness its not me. All I think is normal, just so horrible to feel. :cry:

I think Im so fustrated because it is our decission to make and if something doesn't work I dont want to feel like people are thinking 'I told you so'.

I felt so wonderful and un-touchable when I was pregnant and I just :pray: I make good and positive choices now so I can be again...

I dont think Im obsessing its jst nothing else seems importatn, and this is coming from a SERIOUS shopper who hasn't bought a thing since well before christmas!!!

:crossfingers: today is a day for all of us of only positive, forward stepping days!!!

xxoo

cherished-- I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to welcome you sooner. I'm so very sorry to hear of your recent loss :comfort: and the op you have to have on Friday. As I'm sure you've noticed, you're among friends that understand and want to support you through your journey. I'm glad that something I've said has given you a sense of 'normalcy'--I know how relieved I felt when I found this thread, and read the other stories and the feelings that everyone was experiencing, and I realized how good it felt to feel not only 'normal', but accepted and understood! Your motivation yesterday to lose those extra kg's was inspiring! I agree that it's easier to be motivated once you declare your intentions and put a voice to your goals, definitely easier to hold yourself accountable! Wish you the best of luck! Oh, and last thing, I've heard it takes about 4-6 weeks for AF to show after a D&C (is that the same as a curette?). I look forward to getting to know you during the next phase of your journey! *hugs*



Mel--Sorry to hear about your BT results :( While I know part of you didn't expect it to happen first cycle after the op, I know that another part of you really hoped and prayed, especially with AF being late, that it was going to be the magical answer to your prayers! *hugs* I hope that since she's already late, she'll at least be considerate enough to be really late, so that you can have a AF-free vacation! Unless, of course, you'd rather just get it over with, then I wish she'd just hurry the hell up! :rofl: Anyhow, I wish you a safe, happy, carefree trip where you can shop like a maniac, dance on the tables (take a pic if you do that!), drink 'til you feel free and uninhibited (without the vomiting and hangover!), and just be merry! Will definitely miss you, Smelly Mel! lol... Big *hugs*



erybery--Honestly, hon, my heart just truly breaks for you! :comfort: I don't even have the words to tell you how sorry I am that you're experiencing this! Please know that you and your little bub are in my thoughts and prayers! I'm praying for a miracle for you! Stay strong!



Possums--I'm so sorry that you've found yourself back in this thread! Not that we aren't happy you're here, obviously, but the circumstances that bring you here are heartbreaking! :comfort: I pray you find some solace from your sorrow. *hugs*



babymiracles--I'm sorry to hear you'll be taking a bb break, my fishy friend! I really hope you change your mind! I will have to whip out my Jedi powers to try to subconsciously steer you back towards the TTCML side! :rofl: Can't believe the wedding is in less than 4 wks! Is the waistline on your wedding dress expandable?!?! :p I'm sure your wedding will be beautiful--I'm still waiting for my invite to show up in the mail! LMAO... j/k Anyhow, will miss you bunches, friend!



MO3B--Take me out of my misery, girl, and POAS already! LMAO... Sending more anti-AF vibes your way!



meh--Best of luck with your low-key, no stress approach this month! I think it's inspiring! *hugs*



megsmum--My other fishy friend! *hugs* So glad to hear your u/s went well, although I had to go snooping in PAML to find out! I do understand, tho, so no need to explain yourself... I wouldn't be me if I didn't give you just a little bit of a hard time! lol....



Greenslw--Sorry for your rough day! :hug: I hope today is better for you!

sally--Glad to hear you slept better last night, hope there's plenty more good sleeps to come! :crossfingers: I take it this means you enjoyed the acupuncture?

Totally understand those feelings of nothing else seeming important--the desire to be pg, especially so soon after a m/c, is so totally overwhelming.... the feeling of being robbed of that joy is disheartening, and I still have that feeling, (over a year later), of knowing that I'll never feel truly happy until I'm pg again. It gets easier and more manageable each day, and you just have to stay strong and hold on to that faith that one day you'll be holding your forever baby in your arms! :hug:



Shortcake--Another :2ww: Seems like our lives are wasting away in 2 week increments! :rolleyes: At least you're keeping busy with the packing! How's it coming along?

Jen-Ugh yes it feels like my life is wasting away in 2 week intervals. Packing is slowly coming along. I am working 12 hour days so I'm exhausted by the time I get done packing after work. How did you make out when you called the Dr?


Sally- I had to have a D&C. I pray that your cycle returns to normal for you quickly.


cherished- Is curette the same as D&C? I had a D&C and had to have medication to bring AF back. However my Dr had said it usally takes anywhere from 4-8 weeks depending on your body and how far along you were. HTH!

Hello again girls... perhaps now is a good time to let you all know that I am addicted to the net so I will probalby be posting heaps :D

I believe a Dilation and curettage (D&C) is the same as a curette... Thanks for the info jen805 and Shortcake... I hope my period it is back ASAP!!! but more importantly ovulating ASAP :p I have booked in for acupuncture 2 weeks after my op for some hormone balancing and I know that works so I am fully hopeful that all will be well very soon.... On the acupuncture note, when I very first got my period at age 13 I had 30 day cycles... than a few years later went on the pill and than a couple years after that depo (which was so bad) then back on the pill... You know how the story goes, anyway my periods were than 28 days... The first time I had acupuncture she found that my hormones were all over the place and the very next cycle was 30 days and from then on they have been 30 days (except last Dec?????) which is what I feel my body is meant to do naturally :) Just thought I would share that with you all.

God that 2 week wait is just soooooooooooooooooo Looooooooooooooooooooong!!!!! I am hoping mine will pass quickly when we are back into cycle.... I am going to start doing a project or something.... Paint a picture, ride a bike??? join second life on the net and make me a cyber baby in there :rofl: (I am totally joking about that btw)

Chat later, I'm going to relax for the rest of the day and prepare for tomorrow...

Cherished I know what you mean 2WW are so awful. Dh is now asking when AF will arrive again he said that he knows it is driving me crazy with all the 2WW. *He is so thoughtful.

Thank you for your kind words, venting does indead help.

I went to see a medium before Christmas (bit of fun) she said that babies were all around and just listening to her tape in the car on the way in has calmed me down, realising a loss is a loss but not the end for my TTC jurney. And that's what it is a jurney. with all the ups and downs of a well driven countrey road. I think yesterday I needed to stop and have a look at the view which I have.

DP is being so good, I really have been pinching myself at how supportive he is. I am blessed.

My step son also, he's 15 and could be a real Sugar Honey Ice Tea but he's not. We've been keeping him up to date with all the steps too, just so if I'm in tears or moody he doesn't think I'm completly mad ;) well maybe I am some days too. But I am human

Sallyk I'm going to have some accupuncture soon fingers crossed it unblocks some nots in my back

Shortcake good to do things for fun anyways and keeping busy sounds like a good plan to me.

Hannah no way is going on meds a bad thing. If you need some extra help to boost your mood take it. :hug:

Mel enjoy the shopping and food in Melbourne I am GREEN with envy.

MrsBaby I think you are the bravest most patient lady I've ever met. there is no way I could put TTC on hold even if I knew it wasn't the right time. You are so strong. :goodluck: with DH smoking if you find a way let me know

My class is sleeping! I'm not kidding they are all asleep. It's assingment day and I told them that if they've finished they can do anything they want I so want to make a loud noise but feel mean (evel Greeny is trying to escape). I really am in a much better mood today.

:grouphug: have a great day

Greenslw - :hug: I'm so sorry for your loss.

Cherished - I'm so sorry for your loss as well :hug: Its so hard dealing with people in the aftermath of a m/c isn't it? Those who do know what has happened to you don't know what to say and those who don't know just prattle on with stuff that just makes you feel worse. I had a curette after a missed m/c at 12 weeks and it took 6 weeks for AF to return, my ob said the normal time is 4 to 6 weeks generally. It was the longest 6 weeks of my life. And as for that TWW, well I went through so many of them I just got so sick of wishing away 2 week chunks of my life!

Jen - You're a sweetie :hug: Sorry to make you snoop, but I know I'll never forget the anguish I went through after my m/c and during all our TTC problems - I don't want to rub salt into anyone's wounds by coming here and posting all these pg updates KWIM? But yep, I should have known you'd give me a hard time LOL I'll try to put up a pic in the gallery next week if bub cooperates!

Shortcake - Sending you heaps of AF vibes! Stupid witch!

Eliza - Oh no :hug: I so know how you feel, I just got to the point where I was avoiding anyone IRL or online that I knew was pregnant or that I thought may be pregnant. It is like a stab in the heart, I hope you don't mind me saying this when I am pg myself, I know only too well those feelings unfortunately and I'll never ever forget them.

HannahD - I hope you get some relief from your depression with the meds :hug: I don't think that you are being weak at all, you are just doing what you have to do to get through this - this is what we have all had to do in different ways. Take care of yourself.

Mel - I'm so sorry about the BFN. Stupid, stupid AF!! I have had this happen on a number of cycles and it is so depressing, once I even did a HPT only to have AF arrive hours later :wall: Anyway, hope she arrives for you soon and have a lovely time in Melbourne. I have everything crossed for you for next month!

Sallyk - There is so much conflicting advice on how long to wait. I was advised one cycle to allow my lining to recover which seemed to make sense to me and TBH I did not want to wait any longer than that - I just wanted to be pg again! As it turned out it took us ages to fall pg again, so who knows if I should have waited longer or not? But I would do whatever feels right to you.

Possums - Massive hugs to you hun. It is such a long hard road to recovery but I'm hoping that you start to pick up again soon.

A big hi to Rhi, MO3B, fifi, meh, mrzbaby, charm, boble and anyone else that I have missed. Sorry for only limited personals, but I do lurk and check up on everyone and think of those who are finding the going rough. As I said above, I'll never ever forget what I went through :( I only wish there was something I could say to help you all, but be kind to yourself, do what you have to do to get through and don't beat yourself up for feeling those negative feelings! :hug: everyone