Hope - you very nearly made me cry as i feel all of those things too. My due date was actually two days after yours in March next year. I think all you can do is ride the wave. That may be unhelpful advice but everything is just out of our control. Keep in mind that you are fertile and you can get pregnant and it will happen! My best friend actually had a baby yesterday....she is my best friend and i did cope very well, but that doesn't mean i am not envious and all i could think about on the way home from the hospital was "when is it going to be my turn?". So i just want you to know that you are not alone, and take strength in the fact that you have a loving DH who will be by your side through it all. I know none of this is going to help, sometimes you just have to feel like **ap for awhile until you just cant be bothered feeling like **ap any more and somehow you move on. It's a long road I know.