Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss ~ September 2008

[larz]

Ruthie - I am speechless and so deeply sorry. My are with you and please don'y feel bad about ruining our days, all of our thoughts are with you during this extremely painful period in time. I must say I am a little scared after hearing your news, I wasn't expecting it. Again I'm so sorry Ruthie

[babymiracles]

Hi everyone
I am new to this site.

First to Ruthie - I am so sorry for what you are going through - my heart is with you. I have just had my first miscarriage and am devastated, so I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through. Hang in there sweetie

AFM: I miscarried one week ago today. It was my first miscarriage. I got pregnant through IVF - it was my first cycle. The last 6 weeks have been unbelievably stressful - the whole IVF process was pretty stressful and then I got mild OHSS and have felt very unwell from that. Last thursday had to go to hospital with severe abdo pain - they thought at that stage it was from a very large ovarian cyst which was bleeding - the cyst being a result of the IVF. I ended up bleeding friday and saturday blood tests showed I had miscarried. Since I was still having a lot of pain and scan showed a lot of tissue still in uterus I had D and C on Monday. It was a very emotional day - like Ruthie I just kept thinking about how the procedure is like an abortion - I also had an image of them sucking my baby out of my body and every time that came into my head I couldn't stop crying. Had to wait in a room full of other people having day surgery for about 2.5 hours before procedure - and I was in pain and really upset and that really didn't help matters - the hospital I had D & C really was a terrrible set up - no privacy what so ever. The nurse admitting me was horrible - she asked the following questions with no compassion what so ever - so your here for D& C for a miscarriage? Is it your first miscarriage? Have you any other kids? - at which stage I burst into tears as I do not and am so worried that I might now never have any; Am i married? (i am not but in lovely committed relationship) Do I have a boyfriend? - I mean how is that any of her business and how rude!! Anyway today is the first day the pain has settled down - had hours of pain yesterday (think it is still from the ovarian cyst).
Keen to try again - think I have to wait 4-6 weeks before I can have another IVF cycle - would like to try naturally this month. Does anyone know how long it takes after miscarrying to ovulate normally? - want to test for LH surge but not sure when to start?





Me (37) DP (50)
IVF i cycle - BFP - 5 September 2008 (6 weeks 4 days)

[jen805]

Really short on time right now... just wanted to tell Ruthie... words fail me right now... I'm so very sorry! I wish there were something that I could say or do to take away this pain you're feeling. My m/c was the day before my b-day, hon, so believe me when I say that I truly know the pain that you feel, and my heart is broken for you, Ruthie! I will be thinking of you tomorrow for your procedure... don't forget we're here for you, hun--whatever you need! Wish I could give you a real one, but this will have to do Your little ones are watching over you always...

[Mannie2903]

Oh Ruthie Im at work and crying at my desk.....Im going to have to run to the ladies to wipe the tears...Im so very very sorry and pray to the Lord that your miracle will happen, and that tommorrow comes and goes quickly for you.

' The Lord directs the steps of the godly, He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand' Pslams 37:23-24

[Tam83]

Ruthie ohh sweet heart I am so sorry. My DH thinks I am crazy as I am sitting here typing this message in tears. I cant imagine the pain you must be feeling I cant believe what a strong lady you are I read your post about not giving up you inspire me. I hope the D & C is over with quickly tomorrow and you can get on the road to recovery. My are with you and sending you lots hugs.

Baby Miracle Welcome to this forum I am so sorry to hear about your loss and the treatment you received at the hospital. I to had a bad experience both times I had my miscarriage. The first time the nurses stood in a big group (Around 8 of them) outside my room and I could hear them b***ching about me taking up a bed and that I shouldn't be there. The second time I went they didn't even admit me they sent me home after arriving at the ER. Said there was nothing they could do, tehy didn't even do a u/s. I hope your next round of IVF is better and you get your miracle.

As for me I has my u/s today to check everything was okay after the op. Well what can I say other then I am very disappointed they lady conducting the u/s could hardly speak English and didn't understand what a septum was???? Grrrr So I dont know anything not even if i have follicles or if my edometrium lining is thick enough. So I am in Limbo until I see my FS on Wednesday.

[Emmykate82]

Ruthie I am so sorry for your loss. You are not being whiny.. this is why we are all here - to discuss these things, share our joy when we have joy to share, and to vent when things dont go quite the way we plan. I can't imagine what this must be like for you to go through again. God will look after your three little angels. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. xx

[Emmykate82]

Oh btw welcome babymiracles... sorry you have to be on this thread but if you need support this is the place to be. I am one of the newer members on this thread (i lost my bub 2 weeks ago- it was my first). I totally understand your humiliation/devastation/frustration with the hospital staff. Sadly, i am a doctor, and i see such disrespectful behaviour daily. If i have learnt anything from my horrible experience, it is that women in our position deserve the utmost respect as we are vulnerable and emotionally distraught.

Please know that each day gets easier. It is not about forgetting... but about accepting.
xx

[dellydoo]

Ruthie sweetheart - Please know that tomorrow you have women all around the world with tears in their eyes for your pain. I am crying as I type this and just hope you know how much love and support there is for you.
BabyMiracles - Darling welcome to BB - You will have support and understanding from all here. I am so sorry about your loss. I too lost my first child via IVF 2 weeks ago. I was lucky to have amazing care and am so sorry that you were not treated with respect.
EmmyKate is right - you never forget; they are too important.
Love to you all
Adele

[chappas]

Ruthie- I am so very very sorry, sitting here with tears i cant stop. Wish i could say something to take away all your pain but know i cant. Sending you lots of hope you know we are all here for whenever you need us.

Babymiracles- Welcome, so sorry to hear of your loss

[Baby Angels]

babymiracles......I know only too well the heartache of IVF. ............hopefully soon the fog will lift for you..... day by day you will learn how to manage your pain. Some days will be alright and some days it will hurt. It is all ONE DAY AT A TIME. TIme is the only remedy. Huge hugs to you hun...... I will say one thing for you... be true to your emotions right now. Dont try and be or do or anything... just be true to you.

Ruthie... everyone else has said it

AFM...update in blog

[Baby Angels]

I m just going to have to risk a tellin off.......

I cant think of anything more appropriate at the moment

YouTube - George Canyon - My Name


My Name
Performed by George Canyon

The words to this song are from the unborn baby.


It's cold in here feels like everything's upside down
I can feel you talking but I can barely make out the sound
I been kicking around these parts, feels like a year
I?m gonna change this world if I ever get out of here
She wants to dress me in pink, paints my bedroom blue
And I just laugh to myself, because only I know the truth
This love is my only emotion
Haven't learned any fear any pain
It?s kind of funny with all this commotion
I guess they've got me to blame
And they don't even know my name
And they don't even know my name

Well I've never felt so ready, think it's finally time
Cause that big old world is waiting, and it's mine all mine
Just then everything got real quiet, it got real bright
And a man took my hand said don't worry, your momma's gonna be all right
Then he opened the gate, & I followed him in
Said you can wait right here till it's your turn again
And his love is the one true emotion
Heaven knows no fear no pain
I never got to set my wheels in motion
But they loved me just the same
And they never even knew name
Didn't even know my name
You loved me just the same
And you didn't even know my name


There are some other beautiful sentiments on my web page which the link is always in my signature.... also remember October 15th.... International Miscarriage Awareness Day

[ByTheOcean]

Does anyone know how long it takes after miscarrying to ovulate normally? - want to test for LH surge but not sure when to start?

Hi babymiracles...I am sorry you lost your little one...I hope that you are able to take good care of yourself for now. About your question. I didn't have a D&C after my miscarriage, and I ovulated bang on 14 days after the bleeding started, and got my period right on 28 days later. So my cycle returned to normal immediately, but I know that doesn't always happen after a miscarriage - sometimes the cycle takes a few months to get back to normal. It may be different after a D&C as well, I'm not sure.

Suggest using OPKs from around day 10 if your cycle was 28 days before you got pregnant...just to see what happens. Of course that can be expensive, but v reassuring!

All the best to you. Keep taking good care of yourself. I hope that the experience in the hospital begins to fade for you and that you get the little one you're hoping for!

[~ Mylitta ~]

Babymiracles - I'm sorry that the IVF messed you around so much, and even more sorry that your little miracle was not destined to be born into your arms. I had to have a D&C when I lost my angel, but thankfully the staff at the hospital were fantastic. I don't know how I would have gotten through the day if I had had an experience like yours. My obstetrician told me to wait 2-3 cycles before trying to conceive again, but at my post op visit 6 weeks later I told him we started trying again once I ovulated the first time. He then fessed up that the main reason they say to wait is so that if you fall pregnant it can be dated easier, and for emotional reasons. He said that he's had many patients that have had successful pregnancies after falling straight after a loss. He also mentioned a slightly increased chance of miscarriage though, due to the lining of the uterus possibly not being thick enough. He did mention not to have intercourse or use tampons for at least two weeks because there is a risk of infection due to them manually opening the cervix. Oh, and the time it takes until you ovulate is generally determined by the amount of hcg that is still in your system. For me it took between 3-4 weeks before I began to ovulated again.
The most important thing at the moment though is for you to allow yourself to grieve the loss of your baby. Do what feels right for you, because there is no right or wrong way to grieve. You have come to a great place for support, and I wish you all the best in yout TTC journey. PS. Like your username says... "baby miracles" DO happen!

Tam - How annoying about the ultrasound lady! You would expect that they would at least be able to tell you something in your own language! And to not know what a septum was when that's what she should be looking at! I hope you FS has some better answers for you!

Angel - The song made me cry!!!

[fificlaire]

Ruthie: i'm just sat here in tears reading your post. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Sorry i havent replied sooner, i've not been on for a few days.

You are in my and hope you can find the strength to TTC again. you will get your miracle.

[Babyfever2007]

Ruthie- OMG! I'm soo sorry darling. I cannot beleive that you have been through this so much. I understand the fact you keep asking why does it keep happening and how you could get answers. Like I said I'm really sorry that you lost your darling baby. And, I feel you on your birthday beeing Crappy. Big once again.

Tam-Sorry that your U/s tech was like that I would have been annoyed by it. I hope FS can find some answers for you soon.

babymericals-Hello, And welcome to BB. Sorry to hear about your losses hun. I hope you get your BFP and sticky bean very soon.

ATM- I'm 3 DPO

[plc1805]

jen - yes, I very much like the way your chart is going thanks for the chat sweet

[Babyfever2007]

Hey girls just letting you know we have been having tornados today and ATM its still going on. I have pictures too.. I had my friend from VA make a comp to comp voice call she heard my sirens.. Were okay atm sirnes still going off, The tornado was actully ontop of my APTs but didnt drop down.. We have more headed out way. I called my EX boyfriend and his parents to get to the ground its headed there way right now.

[jen805]

Tam--Sorry to hear about your annoying u/s tech! You would think they would at least know the names of the body parts that they're looking at! Good luck on Wed. with your FS appt--hope you finally get all your questions answered!



mollycat--Aww, sorry! ....My oath to you: I do hereby solemnly swear to never again forget to engage your anti-AF force field!! Pinky promise! Go ahead and blame me.... I'm used to it from Angel! lol... ( Angel!)



babymiracles-- I'm so sorry to hear of your loss only a week ago You can only O once your hcg levels have returned to normal--have you had any BT's done to check yours? I pray that you find comfort and peace here with us... please know that there's no right or wrong way to grieve... there's no time frame within which you need to feel "over it". You're always welcome to vent, cry, scream, ask questions--we all know what you're feeling and the thought process that seems to play over and over again in your mind... we've all been there, and we all know how difficult and heartbreaking it is to lose an angel baby. I look forward to getting to know you!



plc--Thanks! Hope the temps behave and keep going up! Thanks so much for staying up late to chat! It was such an awesome surprise to log on and see all you girls in there waiting for me! Big and bellyrubs! Looooooove the new belly pic--it's so cute!!