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thread: TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ August 07 #2

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  1. #1
    Registered User

    Aug 2007
    victoria
    44

    How frustrating, just wrote this big post and my damn computer at work stalled my internet and when I refreshed it had disappeared!! So here goes again (the second is never as good as the first)
    I've had such an emotional day (I'm on night shift so sleep deprived) but my SIL (who is actually my very close friend) had her third baby today. They have two girls and today they got their darling boy! at the same time my friend text me (who was a week behind me) had her 12wk scan, everything at once just made me so sad but at the same time I was happy for them. I thought I was travelling along ok, but it's so hard when I'm surrounded by friends and family who are pg or delivering etc it's just not fair!!! This site has been my saving grace to know that i'm not alone! thankyou all!
    Starrysky- our d & c's were around the same time, I'm still heavy spotting, just wish it would end, I want to get going again. My Dr told me to wait until i stopped bleeding before Bd. I reckon your + HPT was probably from your pg?? I know what you mean about questions, I have so many too, but the frustrating thing is so many of them don't have answers! and part of my problem is I'm feeling so inpatient and want my body to go back to normal to get cranking again......
    Penny- I reckon a faint line is a neg, I think you should go by the manufactors instructions, if still unsure have a BT.
    Beaksie- hi and hang in there.
    Sharon- Big congrats to you, I'm sure we all feel the same, very envious but absolutely thrilled for you.!!
    Treelo- I know what you mean. it's very frustrating when the fellas aren't up for action, I suppose they do have all the pressure, we can just lie back.....
    I'm sure i've forgotten heaps from my last attempt, hope we all cruise out of this thread soon

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    outer South East Melbourne
    2,881

    nellsbells - It's hard dealing with other peoples pregnancies and births after m/c. I've dealt with heaps of it since my second m/c. My current challenge is dealing with my SIL who fell pregnant shortly after my m/c and who just doesn't care about our m/c's at all and keeps going on and on about her pregnancy. We are avoiding her as it's just too hard for us to deal with.



    I'm so tired again this morning....didn't sleep well again. Had a dream about a pregnant woman.... it was weird as I remember that I thought she was really ugly and I wondered how on earth she managed to get pregnant..... sorry I know that sounds awful but I don't have any control over my dreams. I'd love to know what that dream meant. More bleeding gums today, huge pimple and a .2 rise in temp for me which is unusual for me this early after O.

  3. #3
    Registered User
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    Aug 2007
    adelaide
    1,989

    hi all!
    little scottish boy hope you had a good sleep, my fave time of the day at the moment is laying down in bed next to dp, getting big cuddles and drifting off.......problem is i always wake up an hour later.
    lizjessie sending you lots of luck with regards to this months bding!
    hi nellsbells! i am only now starting to feel a little normal, my bbs shrank again, (thank god, i dont need any extra)and are back to their normal shape, they stop hurting but then they start again, i keep getting these odd pains in them too.even though this was my first pregnancy i had a tiny defined bump, that has finally gone down. I think i am losing weight too as i have to force myself to eat now, before i was always hungry, nothing could make me feel full.
    satya i half feel sorry for my brothers gf. This is my brothers second child (he is 21) his first son was conceived when he cheated on his gf at the time and got the other girl pg, we see my nephew every weekend, he was the first grandchild for my parents, even so, they were so excited about their only daughter finally having a child (i am only 27!!) just after we told them our news about being pg, the gf texts my mum and says she is too. mum didnt answer, and no one in our family has said a word to her about it! mum has said she feels guilty because she just cant get excited about it.
    my brother is ****ed off, apparantly they had discussed having a child and they decided against it, ( she had one at 16 and gave it up for adoption to her cousin )
    suddenly she is pg. I asked him if he has ever heard of condoms?
    anyway she is the type of chick who will have a fight with my brother and then nick off, so we will probably never see the child anyway........ i hope she doesnt do that, but it wouldnt surprise me!
    i keep having this recurring dream where all these girls keep coming up to me and telling me they are pg with my brothers child, obviously i have issues!!
    anyway, today i would have been 12 wks pg, i wish i wouldnt remember things like that,.
    i received my tax return yesterday!!! went out for a bit of retail therapy, got all my hair lopped off (about 30cm of it anyway) bought some new threads, i think i will do the same today.
    i am getting so bored not working.
    xxxx hope you all have a great day and bfps coming soon!xxx
    starrysky

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Jun 2007
    vic
    249

    Hi everyone, hope your all travelling Ok...
    Satya - Gday. Funny about the freaky dreams. I actually dreamt I was preg last night too! Had this big round tum with wiggly baby inside. Very odd.When I was preg with DD I always dreamt I was holding the baby in my hand and it gradually shrank to the point of being so small I couldnt see it, only to disappear altogether. Always freaked me out. Was wondering (excuse my ignorance) how the temping thing works, and what your temp diff after O might mean?
    Nellsbells_ Hi. Sorry all those hideous pregnant people are stalking you. Makes life rather hard when you've got to have a fake smile plastered to your face, when all you really want to do is run and hide (maybe thats just me lol)
    Starrysky- Go the retail therapy!! If Im not on this site, I'm on ebay. Bad, Bad, Bad.
    As for me I'm doing OK. Told DP if he really wants a footy team (yes he really does), then we have to get serious, and bd when I tell him etc.I think he finally sees that if we dont get on with it, I may just chicken out, and give up, so surprisingly he agreed, and all systems GO.
    Whoa, what a long post.....catch yas, ebay is calling......

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Apr 2007
    NZ
    359

    I'm so sad, one of my best friends txted me to say she's having a D&C today, she was 16 weeks pregnant but didn't want to have a scan at 12 weeks. Sounds like it's molar/partial molar from the scan she finally had today

  6. #6
    Registered User
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    Aug 2007
    adelaide
    1,989

    hi kiwigirl, that is sad news. hugs to you and your friend.
    at least you can tell her about a great forum where she will get the best support and advice.
    hope your day gets better.
    starryskyxxx

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Jun 2007
    vic
    249

    Hi Kiwigirl. Just wanted to say I'm so sorry for you and your friend. Please give her lots of hugs, she'll be needing them. Take care.

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Apr 2007
    NZ
    359

    Thanks heaps. I'm over the initial sick-to-my-stomach feeling and had a little cry for my friend. She's the third friend in 3 weeks to have a m/c but she's the friend I'm closest to and the most far along of them all.

    This happens far too often.

    Satya, I'm no dream expert or anything but I wonder if your dream was that you are subconsciously wondering why other people who don't deserve it in your eyes are getting pregnant???

    Beaksie, I take my temperature every day at the same time before getting up, talking, or doing anything. I chart it. The first half of your cycle your temp. is lower than after O. If you're pregnant, your temps stay high for the first 12 weeks or so - so people can read into higher temps after O than normal as a possible early sign of a BFP. Hope that makes sense! You can see my chart by clicking on my ticker.

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Jun 2007
    vic
    249

    Kiwigirl-thanks for the info, but it looks far too much like maths to me! I envy you your patience, I dont think I would last a week. Just looking at your chart gives me a headache (lol). Think I will have to stick with the oldfashioned way. Does temping show WHEN you will O, or do you already know that?

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Apr 2007
    NZ
    359

    Hehe yeah the top chart is confusing since it's overlaying them all. Temping doesn't predict O, just tells you afterwards that you have. Checking your CM type to see if it's fertile is actually way more reliable way to predict O and I find it easier to read than my temps anyways.

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    outer South East Melbourne
    2,881

    Starrysky - gee that's all a bit awkward with your brother.

    Kiwigirl - sorry to hear about your friend.... you will be the best friend she's ever had because you know what it's like.

    Beaksie - they were weird recurring dreams you had! As kiwigirl said a 2nd rise a few days after O is a good sign but as this is my first cycle after m/c it probably doesn't mean much as my temps were all over the place prior to O. That said though it helps keep me positive just the same.

    I had a bit of a difficult moment earlier. The friend from work that had the baby recently just showed up unexpectedly with both kids. I goo'd and gaa'd for a little and made my exit out to the storage room where no one could see my tears.... only a few, but I just felt so sad. I should be around 6 months gone now, or around that many weeks if you go with the next pregnancy.... and she had to arrive on the day I had to go and get my karyotyping test done and all the other BT's I have to get done. Typical.

  12. #12
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    Jun 2007
    Western Australia
    6,587

    Just thought in and pop my head in and say hello.

    satya - how are you going??

  13. #13
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    Aug 2007
    adelaide
    1,989

    hey satya, thats the way it always happens, its the universes funny little way of trying to make us stronger, i am sure you coped beautifully.
    good luck with all the testing, i hate bts.
    xxx

  14. #14
    Registered User

    Aug 2007
    sydney
    18

    nellsbells- I know exactly how you feel (as I'm sure most, if not everyone here does) when everyone around you seems to be having babies or falling pg. One of my friends is due a week after my first baby would have been due in Sept and another friend is due a week after the second one, in Jan. Both are doing fine. I am happy for them but do keep wondering "what if..."

    There is a baby crying next door as I type this infact. They do seem to be everywhere.

    Satya- I'm glad you were so brave with your workmate and her baby. It is hard to do so don't beat yourself up about being sad.The dream you had is just making you aware of your frustration. I think the most frustrating thing about m/c is seeing people drink and smoke and take drugs and have healthy babies. Sorry for the vent but I know someone who took drugs throughout pregnancy and beyond, and thenm through the second one and has two beautiful children. Not fair! Unfortunately, we do have to try and let it go. We will get there. It's your turn next! I'm sorry about your SIL being so inconsiderate.

    LizJessie- has AF left yet? I hope so.

    Kiwigirl- I'm sorry about your friend. :hugs: for her. Hopefully this site can help her too.

    Beaksie- I'm glad your DP is keen to get cracking on his footy team again!

    Starrysky- Some people just manage to fall pg so easily, don't they? Sad for your brother though, if they'd decidied against having a child. It must've been hard for her also, not being able to be excited. Poor thing. Good on you for your retail therapy spree. I hope you enjoyed every minute of it. 30cm's off your hair??? How long was it?

    As for me, still bleeding and it's been 10 days. When will it stop?! I'm ready to move on now. Seeing my Ob on Tuesday, so hopefully everything will be gone of it's own accord.

    Hope you're all having a good day.
    Love Ems

  15. #15
    Registered User

    Jun 2007
    67

    Hi everyone
    This is my first post here. I m/c one week ago today not TTC just yet but will be soon just wanted to pop in and say hi. If you dont mind me asking how long after mc did you TTC???

  16. #16
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    Aug 2007
    adelaide
    1,989

    hi ems,
    i am back now a lot poorer, but hey it was worth every cent!
    my hair was pretty long i was just about sitting on it, i only get it cut every 3 years or so cause its too expensive.as soon as the hairdressers see my hair their eyes light up $$$$$!!!
    i am so over the bleeding too, 16 days and counting, i am sure yours will stop before the big day, i hope so for you.
    xxx

  17. #17
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    Jun 2007
    Western Australia
    6,587

    ems - yeah, she's on her way out - still spotting a tad, but I'm not complaining

  18. #18
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    Aug 2007
    adelaide
    1,989

    hey lizjessie just wondering........i saw in your ttc journal that you were near mandurah? do know a chickie named kosha at all?
    Last edited by STARRYSKY; August 25th, 2007 at 05:25 AM. : say hello to leila

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